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Is there a polite way of backing out on guests?

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 7:09 pm
Disclaimer we live at a location where we don’t have to quarantined anymore.

Someone invited themselves for a meal on Shavuot and we tentatively agreed. Now we got invited to my good friend in another town for all of the chag and we really want to go. Is there any way we can politely let them know our plans changed or are we tied down the whole yom tov because of them?
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Einikel




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 7:10 pm
I think there’s still enough time to back out.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 7:26 pm
The Sooner the Better.
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Blessing1




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 7:34 pm
I don't see the big deal of telling that person that you have a change of plans and you're going away for yom tov.
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 7:42 pm
If they're able to invite themselves, it should be a good enough relationship to say, we've had this invite from oot and we really want to go. I feel bad because you were going to come, are you okay to reschedule.
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 8:02 pm
Go for it. ASAP, so they have time to make other plans.

"I'm sorry, our plans changed and we'll be out of town for YT. Can we arrange another time to have you over"?
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amother




Mint
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 8:04 pm
There's still a week til Yom Tov, totally okay.
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amother




Aquamarine
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 8:17 pm
End of lockdown shouldn't mean end of social distancing and travelling out of town to stay by others.

Have some US states really given up completely on SD?

Heaven help us all.
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amother




Crimson
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 8:21 pm
amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:
End of lockdown shouldn't mean end of social distancing and travelling out of town to stay by others.

Have some US states really given up completely on SD?

Heaven help us all.


Please, please, for the love of God and masks, can we please have one thread without this?
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amother




Wine
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 8:43 pm
amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:
End of lockdown shouldn't mean end of social distancing and travelling out of town to stay by others.

Have some US states really given up completely on SD?

Heaven help us all.


END of lockdown.
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amother




Plum
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 8:45 pm
amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:
End of lockdown shouldn't mean end of social distancing and travelling out of town to stay by others.

Have some US states really given up completely on SD?

Heaven help us all.


Who says she's in the US?
And yes, some states are open and many many people aren't SD anymore.
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tweety1




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 8:46 pm
amother [ Crimson ] wrote:
Please, please, for the love of God and masks, can we please have one thread without this?

Cudos to you for saying what's right!! Pat yourself on your back, be proud, and post under your an.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, May 22 2020, 2:08 am
amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:
End of lockdown shouldn't mean end of social distancing and travelling out of town to stay by others.

Have some US states really given up completely on SD?

Heaven help us all.
No clue where OP is, but not everyone on this site is in america or the tri state area either.
And the end of lock down means going on with life.
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mom4eva




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, May 22 2020, 5:07 am
Honestly I think they will understand. After quarantining for so long your also entitled to some time off.
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amother




Aqua
 

Post  Fri, May 22 2020, 5:45 am
depends upon the situation
if someone invited us for a seuda and then decided to go away especially now and gave us enough time to make different plans I would totally understand

Just tell them the truth and let them know ASAP
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amother




Burgundy
 

Post  Fri, May 22 2020, 8:10 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Disclaimer we live at a location where we don’t have to quarantined anymore.

Someone invited themselves for a meal on Shavuot and we tentatively agreed. Now we got invited to my good friend in another town for all of the chag and we really want to go. Is there any way we can politely let them know our plans changed or are we tied down the whole yom tov because of them?

The way you ask us the question is so rude.
Pointing out that they invited themselves for a meal. This hardly matters once you say yes. But now they become the bad guys.
Do they know that you tentatively agreed? Or do they think you just plain old agreed?
When you agreed to have them, did you feel that you were being tied down the WHOLE yom tov because of them. If you had let them know immediately they would maybe have backed out and never tried again.
Ouch ouch and ouch.
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, May 22 2020, 10:02 am
A week before is totally fine to say your plans changed. Tell them today.
Enjoy!
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Blessing1




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, May 22 2020, 10:10 am
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
The way you ask us the question is so rude.
Pointing out that they invited themselves for a meal. This hardly matters once you say yes. But now they become the bad guys.
Do they know that you tentatively agreed? Or do they think you just plain old agreed?
When you agreed to have them, did you feel that you were being tied down the WHOLE yom tov because of them. If you had let them know immediately they would maybe have backed out and never tried again.
Ouch ouch and ouch.


Whoa!!! Rude???
Yes, some people invite themselves and we reluctantly agree to have them. Why is OP rude??? Plans changed and she's allowed to cancel.
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post  Fri, May 22 2020, 10:21 am
Totally ok to cancel but do so asap. There’s still plenty of time till tom tov.
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amother




Crimson
 

Post  Fri, May 22 2020, 1:28 pm
tweety1 wrote:
Cudos to you for saying what's right!! Pat yourself on your back, be proud, and post under your an.


Thanks.
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