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Kiddush etiquette

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 10:49 pm
So I just had a girl and I’m hoping I can make a normal kiddush for her at my house pretty soon. We’re a pretty big family, but my house is kind of small so I don’t have tons of room to set up. I remember by my last kiddush people sent so many candy platters and cakes and what not that I couldn’t put it all out, so lots of stuff that didn’t fit with the theme didn’t make it out and I felt a little bad. Also I was wondering if people might have looked for their contribution and been insulted if it wasn’t there? I did prioritize home-baked goods over store-bought. I’m just wondering what people do in my situation.
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amother




Slategray
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 10:54 pm
The first thought that comes to mind is that you did baal tashchis and threw away food because it didn't fit the theme?!?!?!?!?!? Why couldn't you put it away?
It's nice to put out food that people sent for the kiddush. I think most people do look out for what they sent. If you really don't have room to put everything out, make sure to thank people for what they sent and try to come up with an excuse why you didn't put it out.
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amother




Crimson
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 11:13 pm
You had me at threw away food that didn’t fit the theme

Here’s a theme that will always fit: we are so grateful for our new baby girl. Please share in our Simcha.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 11:17 pm
I didn’t throw it out right away! I kept it til it wasn’t good anymore. Cakes and cookies don’t last forever and we couldn’t eat it all. And no, I don’t have freezer space for the extras. So what do I do with food I don’t put out?
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amother




Crimson
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 11:24 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I didn’t throw it out right away! I kept it til it wasn’t good anymore. Cakes and cookies don’t last forever and we couldn’t eat it all. And no, I don’t have freezer space for the extras. So what do I do with food I don’t put out?


You should have put it out is my point
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amother




Seashell
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 11:25 pm
Give it away. Send it to a yeshiva.
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amother




Wheat
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 11:29 pm
your last simcha was over a year ago - no point in thinking about 'did people feel bad' now. Going forward - if you don't want the platters - figure out a nice way to tell people up front "please don't send food".
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amother




Slategray
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 11:41 pm
If you have food you don't need, give it away.
For this kiddush, maybe don't make a theme and just put everything out?
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amother




Seashell
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 11:43 pm
Btw, usually the stuff that “doesn’t fit with the theme” gets put in the men’s section...
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Fave




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 11:58 pm
Prepare empty takeaway cartons. When your guests get up to leave, ask them to take home some goodies to share with their family/kids. You can be creative and label the cartons with your babies name.

This will help you go through the food faster. If you don’t have place to display all stuff in the beginning, refill the platters as they empty.

Mazel Tov!
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SixOfWands




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, May 22 2020, 1:37 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
So I just had a girl and I’m hoping I can make a normal kiddush for her at my house pretty soon. We’re a pretty big family, but my house is kind of small so I don’t have tons of room to set up. I remember by my last kiddush people sent so many candy platters and cakes and what not that I couldn’t put it all out, so lots of stuff that didn’t fit with the theme didn’t make it out and I felt a little bad. Also I was wondering if people might have looked for their contribution and been insulted if it wasn’t there? I did prioritize home-baked goods over store-bought. I’m just wondering what people do in my situation.


Mazel tov.

Tell a friend that last time, people were so extraordinarily generous that you could't even put everything out, and you'd feel bad about throwing anything out. Make it a friend with a big mouth. Then hope for the best.

Any unopened commercially prepared foods, you could try to donate at the local police precinct or fire house, or at a local hospital.
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Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, May 22 2020, 7:39 am
the... theme? throw away food? what?
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