S/O separate dancing

shabbatiscoming

Sun, May 24 2020, 3:15 pm

Just wondering, who had family dancing at their wedding?
As in either in the middle of one of the dancing rounds or at the end of the wedding, everyone from the chatan and kallah's immediate family came together in a great big circle and all danced together?

Ive been at family wedding like that and seen it a few times and think its lovely.

Rappel

Sun, May 24 2020, 3:16 pm

Not I, said the frog. Smile

Family is mainstreamed Brooklyn.

ETA - I've never seen this either. I've heard of mitzva tantz, but the idea is very foreign to me. I don't understand why it's allowed.

Last edited by Rappel on Sun, May 24 2020, 4:25 pm; edited 1 time in total

CiCi

Sun, May 24 2020, 3:17 pm

If women and men from both sides of the family join, how is this different than all guests from both genders dancing together? I'm asking because I want to understand how this is permissable according to halacha.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, May 24 2020, 3:20 pm

CiCi wrote:

I have no idea. I just know Ive seen it.
I was not looking to get into a halachic discourse or to say if its allowed or not.
Just asking if it was done at your wedding.
Ive seen it in main stream frum and MO weddings.

But to be fair, only family members wer holding hands and to connect families, only men and men or women and women were holding hands.

CiCi

Sun, May 24 2020, 3:21 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

No, it definitely wasn't done at my wedding LOL

chanchy123

Sun, May 24 2020, 3:36 pm

This has become pretty standard in my . The men in the family dance with their immediate female relatives on the women’s side. I.e the Chatan dances with his mother and sisters our the kallah with her brothers and father.

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, May 24 2020, 3:38 pm

I have been to several weddings where traditional, separate dancing is alternated with old-fashioned ballroom-style dancing or modern party dancing - the former if the bride and/or groom have non-frum parents or grandparents, the latter if the bride and groom are not so strictly observant. Specifically a family dance? No, but it sounds lovely.

amother

Beige

Sun, May 24 2020, 3:41 pm

I’d consider my family somewhat yeshivish and my father came in to the women’s section to dance with me at my wedding and with my sister at her wedding. The rest of the women stopped dancing while he danced with us. It was beautiful. He raised us, why shouldn’t he get to dance with us at our weddings?

shabbatiscoming

Sun, May 24 2020, 3:48 pm

chanchy123 wrote:

chanchy, in your what?

amother

Orchid

Sun, May 24 2020, 4:00 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

My husband’s family, Lakewood, did this at a couple of weddings, but some yeshivish meddlers got very angry. They only did it with one side though, so it was only family dancing together.

amother

Lilac

Sun, May 24 2020, 4:22 pm

My grandfather came over from the other side of the mechitzah at my wedding so his granddaughters (the biological ones) could dance for him, and DH’a family was scandalized. So I guess the short answer is no. Lol.

In terms of father and brothers dancing with the kallah, we had a mitzvah tantz.

Hillery

Sun, May 24 2020, 4:23 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Well if it's not halachically permissable, how can it be lovely?

shabbatiscoming

Sun, May 24 2020, 4:24 pm

Hillery wrote:

Well if it's not halachically permissable, how can it be lovely?

As I stated in my OP, Im asking if something happened, nothing less and nothing more.
PLease dont derail the thread. The poster who asked that moved on, please do the same. This was literally not a halachic post.

Hillery

Sun, May 24 2020, 4:31 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

OK, I won't continue. But I will point out that in your OP you didn't just ask whether it happens. You also said it was lovely. Which implies it's permitted.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, May 24 2020, 4:33 pm

Hillery wrote:

OK, I won't continue. But I will point out that in your OP you didn't just ask whether it happens. You also said it was lovely. Which implies it's permitted.

ENOUGH already!!! Maspeek! Move on. If a thread is not something you feel you need to answer, MOVE ON!!!

LovesHashem

Sun, May 24 2020, 4:51 pm

My brothers and father came at the end to dance with me and my mom and sisters on my side.
At the very end when there was only a couple good friends and family left and all the girls stopped dancing and just watched.

amother

Plum

Sun, May 24 2020, 4:57 pm

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

My husband’s family, Lakewood, did this at a couple of weddings, but some yeshivish meddlers got very angry. They only did it with one side though, so it was only family dancing together.

I think its lovely, and I wish I would have the opportunity. Why can't the mother of boys dance with her own son at his wedding? I'm chassidish and we have a mitzvah tanz, so the father of the girl gets to dance with his daughter, but the mother is denied the chance to dance with her own son. I personally find this very upsetting.

And I don't see what's wrong if parents and their kids dance together on the women's side of the hall. There are no men around to see the women dancing, and the immediate family is allowed to dance together.