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Playgroup morah wants to open - Flatbush

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, May 25 2020, 2:49 pm
My DC had been going to a legal playgroup in someone's house. Around 15 kids with the morah and an assistant.

She has been doing daily zoom calls but my DC has no interest.

She wanted to open in the beginning of May and tried again to get 6 kids in mid month unsuccessfully.
She just texted me if I would send my DC for June.

I paid her in full until now because I felt bad for her and when I tried to only pay half, she got very upset. My DH had to go back to the office this month, so I had to hire one of my siblings to help watch my kids so I can get some work done.

I can't afford to pay both.

I was planning on telling her that I had to make alternate arrangements and canceling the check.
Honestly, it doesn't help me to send my DC because I'll still have to get someone to watch my other kid and the pre-corona babysitter isn't working.

To top it all off, it's still illegal for her to open and she's saying that she's going to follow CDC guidelines (meant for childcare of essential workers, but there's only 1 or 2 essential workers from all the parents).

She probably will also want me to send for the summer camp (which I commited to when life was still normal).

I'm very conflicted now. I feel like it's wrong for her to say I'm open and you need to pay if she's opening illegally. I don't want to leave on bad terms (after I already paid for 2.5 months for nothing to stay on good terms but enough is enough) We are all going through hard times and not making our usual salaries. It's time for her to try a plan B. I'm sure there are essential workers out there that would love a nice frum babysitter. Why does she deserved to get paid and not watch kids? I'm not getting paid for the hours I don't work!

Am I being unreasonable? I'm looking for other people's take on it. What would you do?
Pay? Pay half? Send? Not pay? Don't send?
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nechamashifra




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, May 25 2020, 3:08 pm
You're not being unreasonable at all. Yes, she's losing money but so are you and everyone in the world right now. She's the one being unreasonable by trying to guilt trip you.
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amother




Amethyst
 

Post  Mon, May 25 2020, 3:22 pm
I'm a playgroup Morah that is opening and I told the few people that are not sending that they should ask they're own shailah regarding this. I'm not paskening and neither should you or your Morah. Ask your Rav and tell her what he says.

*As a side it doesn't matter if she is servicing children of essential workers. She is allowed to be open legally. We are supposed to give priority to children of childcare workers not only serve them.
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amother




Cerulean
 

Post  Mon, May 25 2020, 4:10 pm
amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:
I'm a playgroup Morah that is opening and I told the few people that are not sending that they should ask they're own shailah regarding this. I'm not paskening and neither should you or your Morah. Ask your Rav and tell her what he says.

*As a side it doesn't matter if she is servicing children of essential workers. She is allowed to be open legally. We are supposed to give priority to children of childcare workers not only serve them.


Where do you live?
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amother




Amethyst
 

Post  Mon, May 25 2020, 4:19 pm
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:
Where do you live?


In NYC. I'd rather not say specifically where, sorry.
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post  Mon, May 25 2020, 4:33 pm
If you don't want to send tell her. There are many mothers who would love your spot.
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post  Mon, May 25 2020, 4:40 pm
I have a legal playgroup and yes, we can be open even if there are no essential workers in the parent body. I considered opening in June but I am quite relieved that the vast majority of parents are still too afraid to send so that I don't feel an obligation to open. I am afraid too. I have been doing Zoom for an hour a day and sending home arts & crafts packets bi-weekly. I charged the parents half price for May, all parents paid including the few whose children can't sit through the Zoom hour. But for June, since it does not look like I will be re-opening I was just planning to offer Zoom at the same half price for those interested, no obligation to the ones who do not attend. I did ask a shailah for April and was told to ask for full price which I did get except from one parent who asked to pay half. I did not ask a shailah for May or June I just thought this was fair and the parents seem to agree and express appreciation.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Jun 03 2020, 7:11 pm
OP here again.

I wrote to her a bit after I posted here that I won't be sending and what I paid in full until now should cover June's tuition. In my mind, I paid half for both May and June with May's check. My DH also canceled June's check.

She texted me yesterday that we have to discuss it and then today she sent me a picture of the contract that says 'even if my kid leaves in the middle of the year, I still have to pay in full, unless I find a replacement that she approves of'

Honestly, I asked my pediatrician (a popular one in boro park) who said, it's too early to send now and we should see what happens towards the end of June to decide about daycamp.

Just because she decided to open for June doesn't mean it's safe! Look what's going on in Israel!

I'm getting annoyed. I tried to be nice and pay in full until now even when I'm making a fraction of my usual income, but enough is enough. Why do I have to keep dipping into my emergency account to pay her?

On a different note, does anyone want my spot? J, K area and the 30's?
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amother




Ruby
 

Post  Wed, Jun 03 2020, 7:28 pm
I don’t understand why you would pay if your not sending your kid. I paid for March because my son was in playgroup for half the month but did not pay for anything else. I’m currently working from home and my pay check doesn’t even cover our rent. My husband has not been working because he’s a contractor and he didn’t make a penny. Why are the playgroup morahs any different. My husband has contracts with customers saying they will pay a certain amount every month you think they are still paying him even if he’s not working? No they’re not. Why should we pay the morahs?! I understand there’s rent but guess what my husband has to pay insurance still and has to pay rent for his tools too and a lot more expenses. He was not able to get a loan as of now tho we’re still trying. But I honestly don’t understand why when it comes to playgroup morahs everyone suddenly thinks we should pay them anyway. And of course you don’t have to send if she’s not legally open, what does that even mean?!
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notshanarishona




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jun 03 2020, 7:31 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
OP here again.

I wrote to her a bit after I posted here that I won't be sending and what I paid in full until now should cover June's tuition. In my mind, I paid half for both May and June with May's check. My DH also canceled June's check.

She texted me yesterday that we have to discuss it and then today she sent me a picture of the contract that says 'even if my kid leaves in the middle of the year, I still have to pay in full, unless I find a replacement that she approves of'

Honestly, I asked my pediatrician (a popular one in boro park) who said, it's too early to send now and we should see what happens towards the end of June to decide about daycamp.

Just because she decided to open for June doesn't mean it's safe! Look what's going on in Israel!

I'm getting annoyed. I tried to be nice and pay in full until now even when I'm making a fraction of my usual income, but enough is enough. Why do I have to keep dipping into my emergency account to pay her?

On a different note, does anyone want my spot? J, K area and the 30's?


I would ask a shayla but I cannot imagine the contract has halachic or legal authority considering that she is not supposed to legally be open.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Jun 03 2020, 7:37 pm
notshanarishona wrote:
I would ask a shayla but I cannot imagine the contract has halachic or legal authority considering that she is not supposed to legally be open.


That's where it gets complicated. She claims that family day care (what she is) was allowed to be open the entire time even for non-essential workers. I'm having trouble verifying that either way.
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amother




Amethyst
 

Post  Wed, Jun 03 2020, 7:50 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
That's where it gets complicated. She claims that family day care (what she is) was allowed to be open the entire time even for non-essential workers. I'm having trouble verifying that either way.


I can verify that for you if you want (that we were allowed to be open the whole time). Not sure how to do it as an amother...). I have all the emails from the OCFS claiming so but I'd assume the Morah can forward those to you as she must have gotten them as well. I also called the OCFS to clarify this point.

Not that I agree with her. I'm open but have some people not sending or paying. The ones that are not sending and are paying haven't lost any income. But like I said upthread I have told all my parebts to ask their own shailos. I know some were told that if it won't hurt them financially the nice thing to do would be to pay but they don't have to.

Can you ask her to ask a shaila if she is allowed to force you to pay? My contract also says something similar to hers but were told that in this situation it's different.
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amother




Ecru
 

Post  Wed, Jun 03 2020, 7:57 pm
The Lakewood rabbis came out with something like to pay 1/2 or a little less. I saw it one day on the scoop. I would ask a rav its a basic question. I would assume they will say to pay some not all.
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amother




Violet
 

Post  Wed, Jun 03 2020, 8:13 pm
amother [ Ecru ] wrote:
The Lakewood rabbis came out with something like to pay 1/2 or a little less. I saw it one day on the scoop. I would ask a rav its a basic question. I would assume they will say to pay some not all.


LAkewood said 1/3 or 1/2. Baltimore was similar.
There are historical basis for the psak for similar past circumstances.
If the morah is getting unemployment this doesn’t apply.
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Supermom#1




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jun 03 2020, 8:16 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My DC had been going to a legal playgroup in someone's house. Around 15 kids with the morah and an assistant.

She has been doing daily zoom calls but my DC has no interest.

She wanted to open in the beginning of May and tried again to get 6 kids in mid month unsuccessfully.
She just texted me if I would send my DC for June.

I paid her in full until now because I felt bad for her and when I tried to only pay half, she got very upset. My DH had to go back to the office this month, so I had to hire one of my siblings to help watch my kids so I can get some work done.

I can't afford to pay both.

I was planning on telling her that I had to make alternate arrangements and canceling the check.
Honestly, it doesn't help me to send my DC because I'll still have to get someone to watch my other kid and the pre-corona babysitter isn't working.

To top it all off, it's still illegal for her to open and she's saying that she's going to follow CDC guidelines (meant for childcare of essential workers, but there's only 1 or 2 essential workers from all the parents).

She probably will also want me to send for the summer camp (which I commited to when life was still normal).

I'm very conflicted now. I feel like it's wrong for her to say I'm open and you need to pay if she's opening illegally. I don't want to leave on bad terms (after I already paid for 2.5 months for nothing to stay on good terms but enough is enough) We are all going through hard times and not making our usual salaries. It's time for her to try a plan B. I'm sure there are essential workers out there that would love a nice frum babysitter. Why does she deserved to get paid and not watch kids? I'm not getting paid for the hours I don't work!

Am I being unreasonable? I'm looking for other people's take on it. What would you do?
Pay? Pay half? Send? Not pay? Don't send?


Me? I would definitely send. Don't see why not. (unless there is active Covid going on in your beighborhood)
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kenz




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jun 03 2020, 9:12 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
That's where it gets complicated. She claims that family day care (what she is) was allowed to be open the entire time even for non-essential workers. I'm having trouble verifying that either way.

Definitely ask a sheilah, these are very unique times and there is a lot of room for leniency.
Aside from that, she does not sound mentchlach - does she not realize people are struggling?
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