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Dd3- pls help me get to the bottom of this!
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 12:53 am
She can be so funny and charming. She loves to sing and be the center of attention. My single sibling favor her over any of my other children or neices and nephews but they dont see the other side of her. She can be an absolute terror for me sometimes. Its really scary sometimes I have to lock myself in the bathroom so I dont completely go haywire from her. Im gonna write down as many of her crazinesses I can think of. If anyone has any ideas of what can help her pls tell me!! Im desperate!

- overly sensitive, cries a ton
- once she starts crying she has a very hard time calming down
- incredible stubborn. If I put her sock on shell take it off and try to get it on herself and then wait for it- cries because she cant do it
- has some sensory issues
- has some constipation issues
- has some obsessive tendencies ( wont use toilets with any discoloration in the toilet bowl)

Im sure there are more but these are just some thing I can think of. If she decides for example that she cant use a certain toilet she will run around holding in her pee screaming crazy loud and will refuse no matter what to change her mind. We recently went away for shabbos and she only used the toilet covering her eyes (because she couldn't not go for 30 plus hours) but she refused to poop all shabbos because "ewwy toilet"
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holylandgirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 1:46 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
She can be so funny and charming. She loves to sing and be the center of attention. My single sibling favor her over any of my other children or neices and nephews but they dont see the other side of her. She can be an absolute terror for me sometimes. Its really scary sometimes I have to lock myself in the bathroom so I dont completely go haywire from her. Im gonna write down as many of her crazinesses I can think of. If anyone has any ideas of what can help her pls tell me!! Im desperate!

- overly sensitive, cries a ton
- once she starts crying she has a very hard time calming down
- incredible stubborn. If I put her sock on shell take it off and try to get it on herself and then wait for it- cries because she cant do it
- has some sensory issues
- has some constipation issues
- has some obsessive tendencies ( wont use toilets with any discoloration in the toilet bowl)

Im sure there are more but these are just some thing I can think of. If she decides for example that she cant use a certain toilet she will run around holding in her pee screaming crazy loud and will refuse no matter what to change her mind. We recently went away for shabbos and she only used the toilet covering her eyes (because she couldn't not go for 30 plus hours) but she refused to poop all shabbos because "ewwy toilet"


This sounds so similar to my 3 year old- including the discoloured toilet! I guess mine isn't this extreme, but she does cry often and excessively. It's impossible to calm her down. I have taken advice from a chinuch expert and have learnt techniques that have improved her behaviour drastically. That may be enough for you too, but there may be some bigger underlying issues here too. I can't tell from your post- but none of the details you've given sound too extreme or terribly hard to fix.

(I hope that doesn't sound dismissive, I just wanna say it may be something you can control with the right discipline techniques )
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 5:04 am
holylandgirl wrote:
This sounds so similar to my 3 year old- including the discoloured toilet! I guess mine isn't this extreme, but she does cry often and excessively. It's impossible to calm her down. I have taken advice from a chinuch expert and have learnt techniques that have improved her behaviour drastically. That may be enough for you too, but there may be some bigger underlying issues here too. I can't tell from your post- but none of the details you've given sound too extreme or terribly hard to fix.

(I hope that doesn't sound dismissive, I just wanna say it may be something you can control with the right discipline techniques )


I think at this point we are wayyy past "ideas from a chinuch expert". Im not teasing at all I dont want this to come across mean. But if its so bad that its making her parents and siblings go absolutely berserk I think we need medical or therapeutic intervention...
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holylandgirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 7:32 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I think at this point we are wayyy past "ideas from a chinuch expert". Im not teasing at all I dont want this to come across mean. But if its so bad that its making her parents and siblings go absolutely berserk I think we need medical or therapeutic intervention...


Ok sure, I'm sorry I misjudged the seriousness of it. Please forgive me if I offended you, and I hope you have this resolved quickly and smoothly.
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amother




Seafoam
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 8:26 am
I personally would first treat the constipation, discuss with your doctor about trying Miralax, maybe even daily. I know with my DD when she gets “stopped up” it affects her moods terribly.

Of course I’m not saying this is a miracle cure for all the issues, but it might noticeably help.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 8:28 am
amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:
I personally would first treat the constipation, discuss with your doctor about trying Miralax, maybe even daily. I know with my DD when she gets “stopped up” it affects her moods terribly.

Of course I’m not saying this is a miracle cure for all the issues, but it might noticeably help.


She was miralax almost daily since 6 months old. we recently switched to pedialax. The chewable pill seems betterr
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oneofakind




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 8:41 am
Treat the constipation. Read The Spirited Child. She sounds a bit high strung but pretty normal. Try to problem solve and not get into power struggle s.
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freilich




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 8:45 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I think at this point we are wayyy past "ideas from a chinuch expert". Im not teasing at all I dont want this to come across mean. But if its so bad that its making her parents and siblings go absolutely berserk I think we need medical or therapeutic intervention...

I agree about this not being a chinuch problem. It’s really sound like she’s having sensory issues. She would probably benefit from OT to help her regulate herself.
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happy chick




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 9:29 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
She was miralax almost daily since 6 months old. we recently switched to pedialax. The chewable pill seems betterr


A friend of mine once recommended using pear juice for constipation. If the constipation is part of a bigger issue, it may not help. But for occasional constipation, I use it all the time. Works like a charm.
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happy chick




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 9:31 am
freilich wrote:
I agree about this not being a chinuch problem. It’s really sound like she’s having sensory issues. She would probably benefit from OT to help her regulate herself.


Yes, def get her evaluated. And don't wait to apply for an evaluation, because once she reaches age 5 you're on your own directly with the BOE. Now you can apply thru yvy or any other agency who will walk you thru it all step-by-step.
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amother




Seashell
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 9:33 am
Those are not a random group of behaviors, they actually make perfect sense together. If you can work with an OT who specializes in sensory and emotional regulation, I think you will see dramatic changes.
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banana123




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 9:33 am
Sounds like she needs to see an OT.
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amother




Hotpink
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 9:54 am
I would consider ot. But I would also try HK (health kinesiology) as I've seen sometimes odd things that I can't find a cure for was helped by HK.
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amother




Orchid
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 9:57 am
Some soft pandas symptoms there
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 11:29 am
Ty everyone for the replies. I actually thought maybe it was an OT issue and reached out to one. She basically told me that I should make a very clear schedule for her at the beginning of the day and follow it rigidly. She told me that im gonna have to pay a ton of out pocket and she doesnt know that my daughter will definitely be helped...
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 11:32 am
There's not enough information here to know whether there's a possible diagnosis that would unlock insurance help.

But you might want to get her evaluated and find out.
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amother




Navy
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 12:51 pm
Again without knowing and seeing your dd, it's hard to say, but it definitely points to an OT evaluation. I will just say the younger the child is helped, the better the outcomes and the easier it is to work with the child.
I've found in my experience different OTs are better in different areas. One OT we had was better with, for lack of a better word, good with gross motor-worked on strengthening trunk etc. The next OT was more of a practical mind and focused on teaching life skills. All are equally important, they just came at it from different angles.
I know I'm not explaining so well, but basically some OTs will deal more with different issues.

You want to focus on sensory stuff-look up sensory diets.

I would definitely try visual timetables with her-make pictures of the different activities you want to happen. You can use a 'now' and 'next' board where you put a picture of what is happening now etc.

Social stories-she's a bit young for them but it might work-you make a story (or find one) and you read it through with her-for instance with the toilet-you would write a story about how it's okay to use toilets that are discolored-I'm simplifying the concept-I would recommend you research it to understand the ideas behind etc.
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amother




Orchid
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 1:54 pm
Not sure how I missed it, but the miralax/pedialax (same active ingredients) could be contributing towards her neuro symptoms. And constipation is both a cause and a symptom of neurological issues. I would start by working on gut health. Eliminate gluten, dairy and other inflammatory foods, increase magnesium and b vitamins. Bioray has a really nice line of gentle herbal formulas that help heal the gut by aiding regularity, supporting liver function, cleaning out yeast and parasites, etc. the miralax is just a bandaid.
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amother




Seashell
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 1:55 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Ty everyone for the replies. I actually thought maybe it was an OT issue and reached out to one. She basically told me that I should make a very clear schedule for her at the beginning of the day and follow it rigidly. She told me that im gonna have to pay a ton of out pocket and she doesnt know that my daughter will definitely be helped...


Try a different OT. I have been working as a pediatric OT for many years, and I've seen many kids with this exact profile who have benefited tremendously.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 4:46 pm
amother [ Orchid ] wrote:
Not sure how I missed it, but the miralax/pedialax (same active ingredients)
SNIP
.
[b]

The bolded is incorrect. Part of the reason we made the switch. We thought of this
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