Home

Feel bad for her, she is trying to do what is right for HER

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 10:21 am
This is a vent, I just need to let it out.

Dd is home from seminary listening to Shiurim.
younger sister picks things up and comments on them and ds, MO (and opinionated) doesn't agree with everything of course and the chain continues and he reports it to his OTD father who in turn has a go at dd.

I differentiate between halocho and minhag because of the diversity in our home and dd especially called the Rabbi to discuss the issue.

I know dd is strong and will be ok and this will build on her resilience, but I guess it will not strengthen her relationship with her father....
Back to top

watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 10:23 am
Hugs. And please get headphones for your daughter.
Back to top

trixx




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 12:13 pm
Family communication dynamics don't seem to the healthiest here.
Back to top

sub




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 12:20 pm
Can you turn this into rational discussions ? As in — DS makes a statement- ok why do you say so? Explain yourself. Now let’s take a look at a source and see if we can dissect, have a respectful debate.
Back to top

amother




Aquamarine
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 12:25 pm
I would say that in a situation like this everyone should be careful about respecting each other. It’s not okay to put someone down and try to make someone feel bad. Everyone has to try to get along and be nice. It sounds like your son needs to hear this message the most.
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 2:05 pm
trixx wrote:
Family communication dynamics don't seem to the healthiest here.


I would not call it not healthy but rather complex.

For my kids it is from one spectrum to another and they have to find what they feel ok with.

It is very hard because there are a lot of negative experiences (and anger towards the chareidy community) involved which affected some kids more than others and bringing up kids religiously, as a single mother, when parents are not on the same page, it is not a very smooth journey....
Back to top

byisrael




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, May 26 2020, 2:50 pm
Have you ever tried to talk to ds and ask him what he thinks the right thing would be if the situation was flipped - imagine he was the one with his MO hashkafos being attacked by both his super charedi brother and father, constantly being put in a position where he would have to defend his beliefs even if he wasn't in the mood of having an intellectual debate.

He probably feels like if she believes something then she should be able to defend it. Try to help him understand what it feels like to be constantly attacked for who you are in your own home.
hugs!

and btw dd should get headphones - no reason the throw oil on the flame
Back to top
Recent Topics

Page 1 of 1 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
[ Poll ] Starting the 3 weeks on the right foot 35 Thu, Jul 09 2020, 10:06 pm View last post
Can I Lose My Right to Kvetch?
by amother
17 Thu, Jul 09 2020, 4:45 pm View last post
by zaq
Trump Was Right
by iyar
3 Wed, Jul 08 2020, 9:10 pm View last post
by Fox
EZ degrees. Trying to understand.
by amother
58 Wed, Jul 08 2020, 1:18 pm View last post
by bsy
Shoes you’re loving right now.
by amother
22 Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:08 am View last post

Jump to: