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Forum -> Pregnancy & Childbirth -> Baby Names
Would you choose the same name?
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Would you choose the same name?
No way  
 16%  [ 12 ]
Yes, she doesn't own the name  
 75%  [ 54 ]
Yes - only if they go by different nicknames  
 8%  [ 6 ]
Total Votes : 72



amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 10:44 pm
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
You are not copying. You are are using the same name.

Now is not the time to be telling your sister that a future niece may share the name as her daughter. The time for that is when you are pregnant with a girl.


I hear. Really I feel like she's copying me (okay not really, she didn't know what was in my head) because I've had this name in mind for over 5 years. In that time I've only had boys, but she had a girl and she chose a different name for her. So I was first! Tongue Out But I'll look like the copycat. Ugh.

Oh well. Can't get this out of my head today.
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Mon, Jun 01 2020, 12:34 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
There is only an issue of naming after parents and grandparents (for ashkenazim). If I choose the same name as my neighbor, I’m not naming after her. I wouldn’t think that would be a consideration at all.

I’m just sad that this pretty name won’t feel as special anymore Sad

No, it's naming after anyone in particular.

But in the wider community no one thinks you named after their child since they'd assume you named after a relative, whereas within the family if you give the same name not named after a parent/ grandparent it might be interpreted as naming after the older child.
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Mon, Jun 01 2020, 12:37 am
Blessing1 wrote:
What??? Why would anyone think that their sister is naming their baby after their child? This sounds absurd. Don't you know any cousins with the same name?? It's very normal for relatives of an extended family to have the same name, especially if it's a common name or named after a deceased relative.

Right, most of them are named after a deceased relative or the family's rebbishe dynasty or whatever, not a name out of nowhere but they have identical names....the community would assume the two girls are named after a relative, the family knows there's no relative by that name and it is either a copycat or literally naming after the older child. And ps....yes there are families where one sister would do that to the other.

Anyways, I'm not saying that OP shouldn't give the name, I'm just saying it's not absurd for the sister who gave the name first to be upset, considering it's kind of a unique name, not after a relative, and identical to the name she chose. Depending on the dynamics it could be - interpreted as, but also intended as - a compliment, a curse, or absolutely nothing at all.
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camp123




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 01 2020, 2:15 am
It is so culture dependent.

In my family, siblings are close and none of us would ever name the same names. To me names are meant to identify people and their uniqueness I wouldn't want a bunch of cousins to be called the same name, especially if they live close. Nor do I think its nice for grandparents, But that's just me.

My cousins on the other hand all name after the same relatives. For them it's the norm that siblings use the same name. So it really depends on what people do in your circles/family. If you think your sister will be upset, don't do it. "Shalom" is more important than a name. And it will be a zechus for your baby not to start an argument over this. On the other hand if she won't care and nor do you, then use the name.
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Mon, Jun 01 2020, 2:47 pm
Yes, and I did it. I had planned to name my daughter a certain name. My sister had a baby a few months before me and named her daughter that name. I still went ahead. I never got why people feel if you use a name once in the family it's used up. And why are there exceptions to having 30 grandchildren named after the same grandfather?
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lilies




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 01 2020, 6:11 pm
Op, with time you may change your mind. Don't let it eat you up yet, wait until you actually need to name your daughter Smile
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4g01o




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 01 2020, 6:47 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thanks.

I did just hear that she's calling her baby by a nickname, and I would prefer to use the whole name. That's the only thing that's making me feel like it might be okay.

I would feel funny discussing names because we've never mentioned names before we used them.


You can say 'I love the name you chose! It's actually been a secret favourite of mine for a while now' see what her response is? Maybe it can open up an interesting conversation where you can slip in asking her how she feels if you'd ever use the full version of the name down the line.
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