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amother
Lemon
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 Sun, May 31 2020, 4:55 pm
| amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote: | | I’d love twins. My pregnancy was really hard, as well as the post partum recovery stage and ppd. I’m ttc for a while and nothing doing yet (starting treatments soon) I know it will be hard anyway why not get 2 for the price of 1 and then be done forever? |
Risk of PPD goes way up with twins, so no, it's not 2 for the price of 1.
-amother who watched her sister struggle with twins. She always says: it's 2 for the price of 2. Everything is doubly hard with two.
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amother
Jade
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Sun, May 31 2020, 5:05 pm
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Because I got married older and am still dreaming of a very large family
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4g01o
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Sun, May 31 2020, 5:11 pm
I struggle with 1 after birth (anxiety, very mild ppd) so no I'm not sure I'd handle twins but for the cuteness factor I secretly want twins to finish off our family. Especially as I don't think we'll try for a 6th. Who knows  if they come with a nanny then yes definitely! I'd probably get a live in for a bit if we ended up with twins. We'd somehow have to stretch it financially or go into debt 
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amother
Saddlebrown
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Sun, May 31 2020, 5:18 pm
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We have some twins on both sides of our extended family. I never wanted twins. I barely have the energy to cope with one baby at a time so I doubt I would manage well with two. That's always my first question at my first pregnant OB visits - "Are you sure there's only one in there?!" I have had to do fertility treatments for all my children after my oldest. Not wanting multiples is something we take into consideration when making decisions such as to transfer one embryo instead of two. I once joked with my OB that with my horrible HG pregnancies I should try for twins the next time so I don't have to go through it again and she told me that the hormones would be even stronger which would cause all my HG symptoms to be stronger as well and put me at a much higher risk of complications. No thanks!
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Raisin
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Sun, May 31 2020, 5:29 pm
I can see the attraction in having same gender twins. But no, never wanted twins. Would just be very difficult. I do live the newborn stage and find one baby relatively enjoyable to take care of. Two would just be way too difficult.
Also, there are extra health risks for both mother and babies. Not worth it.
I had kids very close in age so lots of the advantages of built in playmates etc.
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amother
Brown
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Sun, May 31 2020, 6:15 pm
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I waver on this. On the one hand, two kids with one pregnancy seems like a good deal. However, I HATE the newborn stage, and I can only imagine that two newborns are twice as bad as one. It seems like it would be nice once they're a little older, but also if I found out I was carrying twins, I'd be terrified. Also I do have a history of pregnancy complications, so a twin pregnancy would probably cause more issues for me. So I lean more towards the no side, but there's definitely a part of me that thinks it would be cool.
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amother
Babyblue
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Sun, May 31 2020, 6:44 pm
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I hated pregnancy and childbirth, but I’m glad to have the kids. For me twins is a two for-one bonus!
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amother
Goldenrod
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Sun, May 31 2020, 7:03 pm
| amother [ Lemon ] wrote: | Risk of PPD goes way up with twins, so no, it's not 2 for the price of 1.
-amother who watched her sister struggle with twins. She always says: it's 2 for the price of 2. Everything is doubly hard with two. |
I know that. I also know I’ll get it with 1 anyway- so once I’m suffering anyway...
We’d hire a nurse for a year. I’m saving money 😆.
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amother
Teal
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Sun, May 31 2020, 7:13 pm
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I have toddler twins. I always wanted twins and feel very blessed to have them. I adore them and enjoy them. Every stage is twice as much fun for my husband and I and our other kids. I’d love to have twins again. It’s a double Bracha.
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amother
Periwinkle
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Sun, May 31 2020, 7:16 pm
I have twins. I always wanted twins and was thrilled when I found out I was carrying twins. But that pregnancy was harder than anything. First I had non stop nausea (mild HG due to high hormone levels, I lost just short of 5% of my weight so I think it's not actually classified as HG), and then when that finally stopped, I was laid up in the hospital for 2 months till they were born via emergency c-section, very early and had to stay in the NICU for weeks. The newborn stage is also very hard with twins, nursing two babies, and giving two babies bottles is quite a feat. It's just non stop action, change one diaper, change the next diaper... no break.
The pregnancy was miserable, the newborn stage was hard, they are almost two now and I'm looking forward to a summer of running after two active little toddlers.
But the cuteness factor makes up for a lot Just hearing them jabber nonsense to each other, or hug each other makes my heart swell like nothing else can.
I do not hope for another set of twins. It's very hard and I feel that I didn't bond with my babies when they were newborns like I did with my older kid. I almost never held them, I was always just taking care of them, and then putting them down to take care of the other twin. Or their older sister.
The only way I would want another set of twins is A: if I'm guaranteed a successful pregnancy and I don't have to spend it worrying. and B: When I have older kids who can give a bottle or watch them while I nap.
Having twins and a two year old (3 kids under 2) is a lot of hard work. All I can say is be careful what you wish for. (Though of course, I don't want to sound ungrateful. I love my kids, I don't regret having them for one second. The nachas is huge. But it's not 2 for the price of 1. It's 2 for the price of 2, just at the same time)
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amother
Lawngreen
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Sun, May 31 2020, 8:34 pm
Never did I dream of having twins. 2 years after we got married we had a set of twins and now 10 years later I'm expecting another set of twins( with other kids in between) when I went for my first sonogram the second time around and I was told its twins I cldnt believe her...I said " but I already have a set, how can it be"? And then the tears started flowing out of the crazy mix of emotions
But the truth is I'm so greatful that I'm having twins however hard I know it is and it will be but I really feel like it's 2 for the price of 1 cause I hate being pregnant!!
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amother
Hotpink
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Sun, May 31 2020, 8:48 pm
pregnancy is the worst. I abhore every second but I want a family.
So I definitely think of it as a great bargain, 2 for the price of 1 horrible pregnancy. Amazing.
But this is a funny thread cuz under regular circumstances, we don't get to choose, right?
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amother
Lemon
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Sun, May 31 2020, 8:52 pm
| amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote: | I have twins. I always wanted twins and was thrilled when I found out I was carrying twins. But that pregnancy was harder than anything. First I had non stop nausea (mild HG due to high hormone levels, I lost just short of 5% of my weight so I think it's not actually classified as HG), and then when that finally stopped, I was laid up in the hospital for 2 months till they were born via emergency c-section, very early and had to stay in the NICU for weeks. The newborn stage is also very hard with twins, nursing two babies, and giving two babies bottles is quite a feat. It's just non stop action, change one diaper, change the next diaper... no break.
The pregnancy was miserable, the newborn stage was hard, they are almost two now and I'm looking forward to a summer of running after two active little toddlers.
But the cuteness factor makes up for a lot Just hearing them jabber nonsense to each other, or hug each other makes my heart swell like nothing else can.
I do not hope for another set of twins. It's very hard and I feel that I didn't bond with my babies when they were newborns like I did with my older kid. I almost never held them, I was always just taking care of them, and then putting them down to take care of the other twin. Or their older sister.
The only way I would want another set of twins is A: if I'm guaranteed a successful pregnancy and I don't have to spend it worrying. and B: When I have older kids who can give a bottle or watch them while I nap.
Having twins and a two year old (3 kids under 2) is a lot of hard work. All I can say is be careful what you wish for. (Though of course, I don't want to sound ungrateful. I love my kids, I don't regret having them for one second. The nachas is huge. But it's not 2 for the price of 1. It's 2 for the price of 2, just at the same time) |
Yeah, you sound like my sister minus the part where you always wanted twins. She cried when she found out she was carrying twins. She also has one older one than her twins and she felt like she neglected that one but that the twins didn't get enough from her either. Her twins are bit older than yours, and she claims she started feeling like a human again when they turned two and that she felt like things are mostly under control and functioning when they turned three.
For everyone saying pregnancy is hard, two for the price of one, it's not. For most ppl that pregnancy is harder than they've ever had. My sister was out of commission for the first 3-4 months and then could not move from her 7th month on.
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amother
Ivory
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Mon, Jun 01 2020, 12:24 am
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To give me a sense of closure after the miscarriage I had in Tishrei. To me it would be a sign that Hashem really does love me. Being on Clomid (for PCOS) does give me more of a chance, but I am not davening for it. The risk factor scares me.
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amother
Turquoise
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Mon, Jun 01 2020, 12:53 am
My brother and my sister both have identical twins. I spent a LOT of time helping them (I was single when both sets were born) and yes, they are cute, but I never wanted twins.
My SIL had a ton of complications, bed rest, emergency c section, months in the NICU.... it was very very difficult.
I got married older and DH would have loved the "2 for 1" deal...LOL. I knew there's no such thing. I did not have twins. BH had a naturally conceived singleton.
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amother
Amber
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Mon, Jun 01 2020, 1:44 am
Just to put this out there, not everyone who has twins has a miserable and terrifying pregnancy and birth.
My early pregnancy was easier than some of my singletons. My late pregnancy, aside from being huge, was pretty unremarkable. I had a natural full-term birth with zero complications. Babies were a pretty good size for twins (over 7lb each).
I may have had some mild PPD, but not much worse than with my other kids.
I was able to nurse them both exclusively, although I introduced solids a little earlier than I did with some other kids.
Yes, taking care of two is challenging, and I'm glad they weren't my first (experience helps!) but as I said, they are a joy and I'd love another set.
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mig100
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Mon, Jun 01 2020, 1:47 am
| amother [ Amber ] wrote: | Just to put this out there, not everyone who has twins has a miserable and terrifying pregnancy and birth.
My early pregnancy was easier than some of my singletons. My late pregnancy, aside from being huge, was pretty unremarkable. I had a natural full-term birth with zero complications. Babies were a pretty good size for twins (over 7lb each).
I may have had some mild PPD, but not much worse than with my other kids.
I was able to nurse them both exclusively, although I introduced solids a little earlier than I did with some other kids.
Yes, taking care of two is challenging, and I'm glad they weren't my first (experience helps!) but as I said, they are a joy and I'd love another set. |
Beautiful post. Thanks for sharing such a positive outlook
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Kiwi13
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Mon, Jun 01 2020, 1:57 am
I was thrilled when I found out I was having twins! But if I ever found it out AGAIN I’d panic. Making it through that pregnancy was the single hardest thing I ever did. (People who know me and my past know that’s saying something.) I’ll join the chorus of “its 2 for the price of 2, paid all at once.” That was one hellacious pregnancy, and even though I was grateful for it, the suffering was immense. Then the emergency delivery, sick mom and sick babies. BH our story had a happy ending.
As far as twin newborns (and we had a 2yo at home!), yeahhhh that was INSANELY hard and sometimes I don’t even know how we did it. (No night nurse or nanny, but we eventually maxed out a credit card that year, paying for help during the day off and on.... desperate times.) But as I told everyone who asked how I was doing back then, “any day with them out is better than any day with them in!” And I meant it with all my heart!!
Editing to add that my pregnancies were never easy, not singletons either. I’ve got serious medical stuff when it comes to pregnancy, so not everyone has as hard a time with it as me. But my doctor did tell me that at 28 weeks, every pregnant patient he’s had who was expecting twins “hit a brick wall.” It gets hard toward the end. How hard depends on the person, like anything else. Also, my twins are boy/girl and even though they’re different genders they still have a special “twin bond” that’s amazing to see unfold more and more as they grow.
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amother
Salmon
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Mon, Jun 01 2020, 2:28 am
I've always wanted twins, ever since I was a little girl. I don't know why, exactly. I come from a lot of twins in the family, and whenever I played the game of Life as a kid, my happiest moment was when I landed on the space that said "TWINS!". Crazy, I know.
I never had twins, and each time when the ultrasound showed only one, I was so disappointed.
Hashem gave me what I could handle, and I'm so grateful for the children I have.
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amother
Gold
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Mon, Jun 01 2020, 2:59 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | Hope this is ok to ask, Im just honestly curious because I don't relate. I guess because one baby fills up my plate and can't imagine caring for two. I love twins but can't relate to desire having my own, can you explain |
Because dh is an identical twin and the biggest gift you can give to a child is an identical twin! It's so so beautiful! In tough times when each of them is going through challenges; whatever they may be, big or small, nobody, nobody can give them what the twin can give even in a subconscious way. My sil and I aren't even so close, but we understand each other like no other sil. Do I want twins? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But I'm telling you, it's a beautiful relationship between them.
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