What do you think about this? Couple “rehomes” adopted son

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Interesting Discussions

1 2 3 4 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 8:53 pm

Who has autism.

YouTube personality Myka Stauffer updated her social media profiles this week to say that she is now the proud mother of four children — not five — after re-homing her adopted son who had autism.

Myka Stauffer, 32, and her husband James appeared in a tearful video posted on her YouTube page on Tuesday, in which they announced that their “journey” with Huxley, 4, had come to an end.

That journey started in 2016 and helped them build — and monetize — a channel with over 700,000 followers, many of whom were outraged by the announcement.

“I didn’t adopt a little boy to share these things publicly,” Myka Stauffer said in the new video, which has been watched more than 687,000 times to date.

It’s also one of more than two dozens videos about Huxley on her channel, which is dedicated to her life as a mother living in Ohio.

The couple said Huxley has been moved to a new “forever family,” and alluded to “issues” and “special needs” that led to their decision. They refused to go into detail on those issues, citing the boy’s privacy.

Stauffer says she stopped featuring Huxley in her videos while the re-homing process took place, and she only shared an update on his status after it had been resolved.

“Do I feel like a failure as a mom? Like, 500 per cent,” she said.

Stauffer has spent the last three-plus years building a profile as a mommy blogger and media personality, but her experiences with Huxley helped catapult her to her current fame.

The top video on her YouTube page is still a “gotcha” montage celebrating Huxley’s adoption, with over 5.5 million views since it was first posted in October 2017.

Full article here: https://www.google.com/amp/s/g...../amp/

So what do you all think? A lot of companies have cut ties with her and now authorities are involved. I don’t have special needs children so I cannot imagine the ups and downs.

amother

Amber

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 8:56 pm

Obviously it's difficult to imagine how someone can do this. On the other hand, they didn't go into detail as to the reasoning. So I'm reserving judgement. It's possible that ultimately they made the best choice for their child even though it made them look terrible. Who knows?

Kiwi13

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 9:01 pm

My impression is that the couple had no idea what they were getting into, and that the adoption was never a good fit, and that should have been figured out BEFORE bringing the child into their home. It's a terribly sad story. I don't think the parents meant harm, but I do think they may have been careless in their adoption planning, which unfortunately fell on the shoulders of a little boy.

The video says the boy was adopted by a new family with advanced medical training, so hopefully there will be a positive outcome.

dorothy1

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 9:02 pm

The main issue I have is the monetizing of the child and using him to profit.

amother

Lemon

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 9:04 pm

I have no idea what the circumstances are that lead to this couple choosing a better home for their son, so I won't judge them. But I certainly can see how much gossip and hateful rhetoric has been spread about her around the web, and I dont know how they are surviving it...I wish everyone would quietly unsubscribe if they feel that is the right thing to do, but stop posting malicious gossip about this family.

Kiwi13

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 9:05 pm

dorothy1 wrote:

The main issue I have is the monetizing of the child and using him to profit.

I'm not convinced that's what happened. I do believe that they monetized their PLANS to adopt, likely to be able to afford the adoption. What happened after that might just be because of feeling pressured to share the adoption with the people who helped fund it.

southernbubby

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 9:08 pm

Some adoptions fail.

giselle

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 9:11 pm

This must be so difficult for them to have to deal with this so publicly. No judgment for what happened with their son. But I can’t understand how people choose to publicize their lives like that. I think ten times before just posting a picture to WhatsApp! It’s a disease of this generation. Or maybe I’m just old.

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 9:12 pm

I also have a problem with them talking about “rehoming”, which is a term typically used for pets. It makes it sound like they saw him as their pet, or a prop.

Did the couple use that word, or did the media just use that word in their reporting?

amother

Amber

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 9:15 pm

Kiwi13 wrote:

It's impossible in most cases to find out whether or not the adoption will be a good fit, especially from foreign countries. The medical history is incredibly inaccurate. There is minimal information provided. It's challenging enough when a family gives birth to a child who is medically complex or has severe special needs. When the child is adopted without knowledge of those factors, I really sympathize with families that struggle tremendously to provide for all of the child's needs.

amother

Mustard

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 9:16 pm

As a parent of a special needs kid I am torn about this. This could have been a totally selfless act as they had another 4 children and they really wanted him to get the best undivided care (honestly my child does not get as much of me as she deserves and I cant do as much because of my other kids. )
On the other hand their youtube channel is a lot of work so could be they chose between the two and that would be heartbreaking. About monetizing the child, I think it would look better for them to keep him for content so I dont believe that is why they gave him away. They did not know his special needs when they took him and now that he is a burden they cant be bothered by him.
Anyways, I dont think they deserve and investigation or to be judged.

Stars

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 9:16 pm

How can you judge? Do you have any idea how hard adopting could be? Not the regular "you have a kid, expect it to be hard", but major mental and emotional issues, including the child rejecting the adopted parents for years and years, to the point where it's not good for any party involved to continue this way.
Were any of you ever in these exact shoes that you feel qualified to judge?

dorothy1

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 9:19 pm

Kiwi13 wrote:

If you research the case, you’ll see it’s very obvious that it’s what they did, including her posting on a Facebook group for international adoptions that she wanted to adopt a child who had special needs that looked like they were difficult but weren’t actually difficult to care forZ

amother

Denim

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 9:22 pm

Omg I've been following her for a while. I actually came across her channel when she adopted this son. Although I don't agree with everything she did, I Enjoyed watching her family. AND NOW THIS. She took in this kid knowing of all the issues he had. It didn't come as a surprise for her. She could've taken more help for him instead of sending him away.

dorothy1

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 9:25 pm

Also, the knew in advance he had a brain injury and “didn’t know the extent of his disability “. Tbis wasn’t a surprise .

amother

Denim

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 9:35 pm

They were actually warned that his disabilities might be too severe and they adopted him anyway.

Mama Bear

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 9:51 pm

As a mother of a severely autistic son whom I had to place in a residential school, I feel for her.
My own flesh and blood, you can imagine the pain and tears that went into this decision. His brothers were growing up in a chaotic home, the house was a wreck, my husband and I were exhausted. Severely autistic children take up all of your time and energy and leave you with nothing to take care of anyone else. I can totally understand why she wasnt willing to sacrifice her four bio kids lives for their adopted son. What I don't love, is the way she handled it all from the start. But that's none of my business.
I empathize with her for the very difficult decision she had to make. This is a super tough decision.

amother

Denim

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 10:16 pm

I can sympathize with a mother that has to place her own kid with another family because they didn't have a choice about having a special needs child . In this specific case she knew what she was getting into and made a choice to bring a child all the way from China and now gave him up .

amother

Mint

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 10:50 pm

I've heard of other "failed adoptions"; all I have heard of we're non infant adoptions, either toddlers or older children.

I'm not saying that adoption is a bad thing, but it's definitely different than having your own child, especially if it's non-infant adoption.

Hopefully the people who say things like "why go through infertility treatments, just adopt!!1!" will start to understand...

amother

Mint

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 10:56 pm

I know a couple who adopted two older kids from South America. Before adopting them, the agency sent the kids to live with the intended parents for some time telling the kids it was a "vacation". Then they asked the parents if they wanted to adopt the kids, after the parents already somewhat knew what the kids were like at home. That sounds like a smart method to me, it wouldn't be 100% but better than adopting an older child who you were randomly assigned to and never met.

I also heard of somewhere in the US where they would take kids up for adoption for a fun day at the park, and parents looking to adopt were invited to go to the park and could go up and talk to the kids. Afterward the parents would tell the agency which child/children they were interested in adopting. Also not 100%, but still better than being randomly assigned a kid you never even saw.

Page 1 of 4

1 2 3 4 Next