The explosive child

amother

Sun, Jun 07 2020, 8:19 pm

mha3484 wrote:

I use it and it has been the best thing for my family. I have a 9 1/2 year old with severe adhd and a 5 1/2 year old with aggression and anxiety. This has helped them both so much. My boys yeshiva uses this method as well.

Re the bolded: do you think they come together? My son has both, and wondering if one has anything to do with the other.

amother

Crimson

Sun, Jun 07 2020, 8:23 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Antibiotics for a long time. Maybe 5-6 weeks. There is no way to test for Lyme so I wouldn’t know if he’s still being affected by it.
He was always a “difficult” child that needed TONS of undivided attention, had a hard time getting along with peers, and lots of anxiety. I don’t know how much is related to the other, but this is him in a nutshell.

they are all related in the sense that they are All symptoms of brain inflammation. also in the sense that anxiety can induce rages when things don’t go the way they wanted/needed/planned for them to. Was he treated by a Lyme literate physician? I doubt 5 or 6 weeks was enough. And there are better Lyme tests out there, you would need an llmd to run them.

amother

Gold

Sun, Jun 07 2020, 10:24 pm

I have the book, definitely gave me some great tools and food for thought...! The main approach of the book is the collaborative problem solving idea. In simple words they teach you how to communicate effectively and problem solve with highly inflexible, emotional and complicated children. I liked that he very strongly believes that whatever the diagnosis or issue is the approach is almost guaranteed to work...I also felt quite validated reading through so many familiar examples Can't Believe It

As a mom of a very intense 11 y o girl u have my deepest sympathy. We as parents have really done so so so much to try to help her and help ourselves as a family. Her complicated yet gifted personality has changed and affected our entire household. I won’t bore u with the details of all we tried! therapy and parenting classes and many many diff approaches...Honestly there’s no answers. I just hope and pray that one day she’ll just come around and be a fine young lady be”h

To the mom that mentioned bpd , with the research I have done professionals have told me that up until the age if 18 they wouldn’t and can’t diagnose anyone as having a personality disorder but could be odd or disruptive mood dysregulation disorder etc I’d say instead of wasting your time getting a diagnosis rather learn tools and build the broken child.

Good luck and hugs from another tired drained mom out there

amother

Mon, Jun 08 2020, 7:18 am

amother [ Gold ] wrote:

I’m wondering if I’ll learn anything new.... we’ve been problem solving forever! His solution was asking me to tell him if he’s going on the wrong “track” and remind him to switch gears! He’s really bright and willing to listen and problem solve, but when the outbursts happen, it all goes out the window!

amother

Pink

Mon, Jun 08 2020, 7:35 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My experience is that some kids need meds to get past this. When there is zero thinking time, it slows things down enough to think and put the process in. Often you can pull the mess once the learning has taken place, but sometimes not.

mha3484

Mon, Jun 08 2020, 7:39 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Re the bolded: do you think they come together? My son has both, and wondering if one has anything to do with the other.

Yes they do. I think it has to do with overwhelming emotions and poor coping strategies.

amother

Gold

Mon, Jun 08 2020, 10:01 pm

amother [ Pink ] wrote:

I hear you, but I’d be very very very wary of medicating a child to slow down their impulsive reactions unless they’re being outright abusive or violent! With meds it’s just a never ending chase of fixing one issue and adding another whole bunch.

And to answer op, so according to the books if his reasonable solution isn’t working it calls for another round of sitting down with the kid for collaborative problem solving.

Interestingly enough I have found that Sometimes just sitting down with the kid and pointing out in the gentlest of ways without having any personal motive that the solution he has provided is not working out for HIS sake even if the conversation ends without a resolution, processing the awareness can definitely bring somewhat positive results or that extra millisecond of thinking before acting out.

amother

Silver

Sun, Mar 13 2022, 10:56 am

Had anyone attended the parenting conference by Dr. Ross Greene , author of the Explosive Child, last week in Monsey? Did he make things very clear in person. I'm reading his book, but not finding it easy to follow his advice.