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Different genders sharing a bedroom
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 1:53 pm
Until what age can a brother and sister share a bedroom?
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banana123




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 1:54 pm
Until one of them hits puberty.
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malki2




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 1:56 pm
banana123 wrote:
Until one of them hits puberty.


I think that the age is 9 for a boy and 3 for a girl and both of them have to reach their respective age for them to not be allowed to sleep together. It has to do with being ראוי לביאה.
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Rappel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 1:59 pm
malki2 wrote:
I think that the age is 9 for a boy and 3 for a girl and both of them have to reach their respective age for them to not be allowed to sleep together. It has to do with being ראוי לביאה.


Eh, what? Source?
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:00 pm
I wouldn't keep them together until puberty at all! I think many years before that they'll be uncomfortable around one another getting dressed/undressed/being in pajamas, and will want their privacy.
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Rappel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:00 pm
banana123 wrote:
Until one of them hits puberty.


That was what I thought. I technically shared a room with both my siblings until my brother moved out, but he slept in the living room from his early teen years.
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banana123




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:01 pm
malki2 wrote:
I think that the age is 9 for a boy and 3 for a girl and both of them have to reach their respective age for them to not be allowed to sleep together. It has to do with being ראוי לביאה.

I'm pretty sure that doesn't apply to a brother and sister living in a house with other people and possibly other siblings sharing the same bedroom.
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malki2




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:01 pm
Rappel wrote:
Eh, what? Source?


Honestly, I don’t recall. I just have that in my head. Maybe it comes from Hilchos Yichud.
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Ora in town




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:02 pm
Round 11...
What will you do if you have just a boy and a girl and just one bedroom?
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banana123




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:02 pm
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:
I wouldn't keep them together until puberty at all! I think many years before that they'll be uncomfortable around one another getting dressed/undressed/being in pajamas, and will want their privacy.

They can get dressed and undressed in their pajamas, or for the five minutes that one is getting dressed the other can not come into the room. It's good practice for respecting boundaries.
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Ora in town




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:03 pm
malki2 wrote:
Honestly, I don’t recall. I just have that in my head. Maybe it comes from Hilchos Yichud.

Don't recall? A source? Really?
So look it up...


Last edited by Ora in town on Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:04 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:03 pm
OUr rav told us before puberty.
We had 3 girls and 2 boys in the room
Oldest son moved out first. Then oldest 2 girls I don’t remember exact ages he said.
I think oldest son was 10 and oldest daughter was 7 or 8 when they split rooms
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malki2




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:09 pm
Ora in town wrote:
Don't recall? A source? Really?
So look it up...


I’m admitting that I don’t recall. I’m not claiming that I know a source and that I don’t feel like looking it up.
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Ora in town




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:12 pm
malki2 wrote:
I’m admitting that I don’t recall. I’m not claiming that I know a source and that I don’t feel like looking it up.

But if you don't remember the source, it could be just as well that you remember the contents wrong...
And if people can't check the source, it might be that this is a shitta they don't follow... or perhaps you just made it up?


Last edited by Ora in town on Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:13 pm; edited 1 time in total
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:12 pm
Can? I dont think there is an actual halacha on this as when halachot were made there were no homes with rooms.
You do what you can and if a brother and sister have to share a room beyond puberty, they can get dressed in the bathroom.
I know a family that had a two bedroom apartment. One for the parents and one for all of the kids. They all dressed in the bathroom.
I had a friend who was on girl with quiet a few boys. There were 3 bedrooms. She had to share with another brother as the other bedroom had no room for more beds than it already had. Once the oldest got married, the brother moved out into the boys bedroom.
Again, you do what you can. What else can one do? Nothing.
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:12 pm
We lived in a two bedroom house and my ten year old son shared a room with my 6 year old daughter. They didn’t seem to care, but my husband and I were uncomfortable with the arrangement and knew we had to move. We BH moved to a much bigger house on her 7th birthday. I felt like that was really the limit, but I’ve heard of older siblings sharing a room, so I’m not sure...
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amother
Oak


 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:16 pm
My 6yo boy and almost 8yo girl share. They don't get changed in front of each other. We all walk around the house in pj's anyway, I don't see that as an issue.
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banana123




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:18 pm
amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:
We lived in a two bedroom house and my ten year old son shared a room with my 6 year old daughter. They didn’t seem to care, but my husband and I were uncomfortable with the arrangement and knew we had to move. We BH moved to a much bigger house on her 7th birthday. I felt like that was really the limit, but I’ve heard of older siblings sharing a room, so I’m not sure...

I know families where a teen will share a room with a toddler of the other gender. But usually it's only younger children who share a room with the opposite gender.
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malki2




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:23 pm
Ora in town wrote:
But if you don't remember the source, it could be just as well that you remember the contents wrong...
And if people can't check the source, it might be that this is shitta they don't follow... or perhaps you just made it up?


Possibly. But the Yichud ages for boys and girls are 9 and 3, respectively. So some people are sensitive to the concept behind this, meaning that if they are of those ages, they probably shouldn’t be sharing a room. I don’t think that it’s Halacha, but rather more like a sensitivity issue. If you don’t have it, you need not be concerned.
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 2:34 pm
After all the bad stories I’ve heard I wouldn’t recommend it.
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