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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Drive by birthday etiquette



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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 5:48 pm
Hi.

I arranged a drive by birthday party for my son this past Sunday.

We had music, decorations, gave out goody bags and doughnuts, had a birthday poster board for the boys to sign, and entered everyone who came into a raffle.

I did not realize until later that his friends would bring gifts. I assumed it was so low key and not a real party that gifts would not be necessary.

Some people seemed to have the same thought and did not bring gifts, some brought cards, some brought gifts, and some brought really nice gifts that were probably over $20.

We wrote down everyone's name who gave a gift but we can't match all the gifts to names since not everyone wrote their name on their gift.

With a regular party we could just send everyone a thank you note and for those who we cant remember, just keep it generic "thank you for the gift".

Because some kids did not bring gifts, would it be weird to send a thank you note that says "thank you for coming to my party and for the nice gift"?

Would that make them feel embarrassed that they didn't give something?

On the other hand, if we dont send a thank you card to someone who gave something, that would be rude.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 6:08 pm
Since you don't remember who gave what, just do as you said--thanks for coming, thanks for the gift, it was so thoughtful of you. Better a generic TY than none at all. People who can't be bothered to put some form of ID on their gift can't expect a personalized "I love the build-your-own-realistic-life-size-cockroach model kit, can't wait to finish it, stick it in the pantry and scare Mom to bits" note. If the kid didn't think of it, his mom should have,

You did say that you wrote down everyone who gave a gift, so what's the problem? You wouldn't be thanking anyone for a gift they didn't give. Thanking people for coming is not really required, but it's not a faux pas either.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 6:18 pm
zaq wrote:
Since you don't remember who gave what, just do as you said--thanks for coming, thanks for the gift, it was so thoughtful of you. Better a generic TY than none at all. People who can't be bothered to put some form of ID on their gift can't expect a personalized "I love the build-your-own-realistic-life-size-cockroach model kit, can't wait to finish it, stick it in the pantry and scare Mom to bits" note. If the kid didn't think of it, his mom should have,

You did say that you wrote down everyone who gave a gift, so what's the problem? You wouldn't be thanking anyone for a gift they didn't give. Thanking people for coming is not really required, but it's not a faux pas either.


Thanks, I guess I wasnt so clear.

Meaning we wrote down everyone who wrote their name on the gift. Some gifts were not named and some kids did not give gifts. So if we just send generic thank yous to anyone who isnt on our list it will either be fine because they gave an unnamed gift or it will be weird because they didnt give anything.

So what you are saying is that its ok to thank someone for giving a gift if they didnt give?
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amother
Aquamarine


 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 6:22 pm
make it like they gave you a gift by coming -- vague-- v hamavin yavin -- with regular thank you note lines added to those who signed gifts
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allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 6:32 pm
I would feel awful if I got a card thanking me for a gift I didn't give.
If they didn't leave aname, they won't get thanked with a card. I'm sure you thanked everyone at the party.
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 6:39 pm
For the ones who you are not sure if they gave a gift or not, you can write. "Thank you for making my birthday so special!"

Don't mention gift, in case they didn't give.
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agreer




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 6:53 pm
amother [ Ecru ] wrote:
For the ones who you are not sure if they gave a gift or not, you can write. "Thank you for making my birthday so special!"

Don't mention gift, in case they didn't give.


That's a great idea!

For the gift-givers you know of - write a personalized thank you card.

All others get something like above.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jun 08 2020, 8:44 pm
amother [ Ecru ] wrote:
For the ones who you are not sure if they gave a gift or not, you can write. "Thank you for making my birthday so special!"

Don't mention gift, in case they didn't give.


This is a great idea. Thanks!
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