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Ask Rabbi DH



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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 09 2020, 11:23 pm
I’m interested to hear if your DH has smicha dayanus or is a shul rav do you ask DH sheilos? What type of topic?
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Tue, Jun 09 2020, 11:34 pm
My DH is a community rabbi
I ask him all shielos.
Kashrus, tahara, Shabbos, everything
I trust him that if he’s not sure or biased he’ll ask his rav
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 12:02 am
Slightly off topic but dh is a dr and he gets so annoyed when I dont trust him and spend 20 mins on hold with the pediatricians office LOL

He doesnt have smicha but bh is knowledgable in halacha. I mostly ask him kashrus and shabbos shailos and if he doesnt know hell ask for me..
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 12:03 am
I think that the only thing that a rabbi can not pasken for himself/ his family, are monetary things (choshen mishpas), as it is impossible not to be biased.
dh does not have smicha, but is very learned so I ask him basic type of questions (kashrus etc) and if it is not something that is not clear cut, we ask a rav
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amother
Green


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 12:15 am
My husband is a Rav, he answers all our day to day shaalos except with a questionable kesem, that he'll take to his Rav since he doesn't feel he can be unbiased. Otherwise, he's very well versed in halacha, we don't have any complicated shaalos so he always answers when I need
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 12:21 am
amother [ Green ] wrote:
My husband is a Rav, he answers all our day to day shaalos except with a questionable kesem, that he'll take to his Rav since he doesn't feel he can be unbiased. Otherwise, he's very well versed in halacha, we don't have any complicated shaalos so he always answers when I need

Same here.

In rare situations, I ask a rav, but that hardly happens.
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salt




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 4:07 am
My DH is not a Rav, but he's knowledgeable in Halacha, and knows how to look things up. If there's a complex halachic question, he'll ask a Rav.
If I have a questionable bedika cloth he asks a Rav.

Is a DH allowed to pass decisions his own wife's nida bedikot - doesn't he have a vested interest to pass them? I'm not sure he can be objective.
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happy chick




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 4:18 am
DH has smicha, but I don't ask him anything. He always tells me, "I don't know, ask a Rav".
OTOH, my father a"h did not have smicha but was super knowledgeable and whatever he didn't know he knew exactly where to look up.
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amother
Rose


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 6:24 am
DH has smicha but isn’t a practicing rav. I’ll ask him everything and leave it to his choice whether to pasken himself or ask someone else. Sometimes if his psak doesn’t sound right to me I’ll ask him to double check with a rav.

Interestingly, he never trusts himself on bedikahs, but his shimush in it was cut short by corona.
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Chickensoupprof




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 6:28 am
Oh... my DH is a real balebatish he is working and not really learning!! Do I need to be ashamed? I'm way more insecure and ask shailos DH is not like that.
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amother
Green


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 7:33 am
salt wrote:
My DH is not a Rav, but he's knowledgeable in Halacha, and knows how to look things up. If there's a complex halachic question, he'll ask a Rav.
If I have a questionable bedika cloth he asks a Rav.

Is a DH allowed to pass decisions his own wife's nida bedikot - doesn't he have a vested interest to pass them? I'm not sure he can be objective.


If anything my husband is more machmir with us than others which is why he takes kesamim to his Rav since he's more meikil with those in general and is nervous to be too meikil with us.
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rakcna




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 7:37 am
My DH is a Rav. I ask him questions, and if he can’t pasken or feels uncomfortable doing so, he asks one of his rabanim.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 7:46 am
Chickensoupprof wrote:
Oh... my DH is a real balebatish he is working and not really learning!! Do I need to be ashamed? I'm way more insecure and ask shailos DH is not like that.


Does he have good middos? Is he ehrlich at work? Is a relationship with Hashem important to him on some level - tefila, some connection to Torah that animates him? If you can answer yes to all these questions there's not need to be embarrassed.

Re the last question: if the answer's no, you don't have to be embarrassed but you do have to do some thinking, and have some discussion, about the level of Jewish vibrancy you want your kids to have. It doesn't necessitate their father going to every shiur available, but an attitude that is translated to some consistent level of action.

And don't forget the Toras imecha. What we do impacts too.

Sorry if I'm going somewhere I shouldn't.

ETA: Asking shailos isn't insecure. It means having a standing relationship with a rav who, thanks to your shailos, is getting to know you. That's a good thing!
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 8:06 am
amother [ Green ] wrote:
My husband is a Rav, he answers all our day to day shaalos except with a questionable kesem, that he'll take to his Rav since he doesn't feel he can be unbiased. Otherwise, he's very well versed in halacha, we don't have any complicated shaalos so he always answers when I need


This is what I had in mind with the OP. Especially with a DH that answers Sheilos.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 8:09 am
Chickensoupprof wrote:
Oh... my DH is a real balebatish he is working and not really learning!! Do I need to be ashamed? I'm way more insecure and ask shailos DH is not like that.


If you feel shamed by this thread I apologize. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

ETA: the same Dayan DH worked in Judaic publishing.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 9:01 am
DH has Smicha in niddah and has learned issuer v'heter (kashrut) in depth. He is now learning brachos. I ask him shailos in every area, he uses a loupe on my bedikos, but I have learned and usually know the answer before showing him. Occasionally he’ll bring it to a Rav.
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