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Forum -> Pregnancy & Childbirth -> Baby Names
Is it selfish to give a kid an unusual name?
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 6:50 am
amother [ Pearl ] wrote:
Yep, and there's a reason why this name has disappeared off the radar. Honestly, I hear 'goel' and think 'nefesh' as in גועל נפש.

There are so many beautiful names! Why do this to a kid?

I know you think that, so do I, but remember he is a) in his 40s, and b) says his name with an alef, and "goel nefesh" with a true ayin, so it's not the same at all.

It's a shame that the ability to differentiate alef and ayin is disappearing.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 7:03 am
I have an unusual name (it's somewhat used in Israel but never met anyone non Israeli with the name). It also can be pronounced so many different ways. I could be wrong, as you can never really pinpoint to what extent different things affect you, but I really feel it was inhibiting growing up. A name is an identity and it has taken me a long time to truly feel comfortable with who I am, and even now I don't identify strongly with my name. It's not ugly or long, it's just unique and as someone who doesn't like to stand out I really have had a hard time with it.

I feel strongly that a name is a very strong part of ones identity and Im always amazed when people say there own names often and freely, with a clear strong connection to it. I struggle with it, I never use my name to refer to anything about me. I bH have developed a strong self esteem and confidence, yet I still struggle with my name, so I don't think it's just an excuse I'm using.

I made sure to give my kids very normal, 2 syllobal names, with a middle name so that they still have a somewhat unique combination. Identifiable but nothing unusual

That's just my experience, I imagine this kind of thing really depends on the kids personality, but you won't know that till too late. I'd say better safe than sorry...
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amother
Natural


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 7:07 am
Interesting lilac. I feel exactly the same way. I even hate hearing pple call me by my name and having to respond. And my name is not even that unusual.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 7:18 am
My name is not unusual but it’s uncommon. I hate it. (My hebrew name is also not a name I like, and I have lived my whole life being called by my english name, it would fee weird to me to go by my hebrew name anyway). I wish my parents have given me a more common, mainstream name.
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 7:28 am
amother [ Lilac ] wrote:
I have an unusual name (it's somewhat used in Israel but never met anyone non Israeli with the name). It also can be pronounced so many different ways. I could be wrong, as you can never really pinpoint to what extent different things affect you, but I really feel it was inhibiting growing up. A name is an identity and it has taken me a long time to truly feel comfortable with who I am, and even now I don't identify strongly with my name. It's not ugly or long, it's just unique and as someone who doesn't like to stand out I really have had a hard time with it.

I feel strongly that a name is a very strong part of ones identity and Im always amazed when people say there own names often and freely, with a clear strong connection to it. I struggle with it, I never use my name to refer to anything about me. I bH have developed a strong self esteem and confidence, yet I still struggle with my name, so I don't think it's just an excuse I'm using.

I made sure to give my kids very normal, 2 syllobal names, with a middle name so that they still have a somewhat unique combination. Identifiable but nothing unusual

That's just my experience, I imagine this kind of thing really depends on the kids personality, but you won't know that till too late. I'd say better safe than sorry...

Me too. You described me to the T.
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 7:53 am
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
Hey, hey!

I met someone who named her baby Mevaseret. Why is Moledet worse? They are both beautiful names.
And Shacharit is also a nice name, and not so weird. There are tons of Shachars around.
Mincha is also the name of a specific korban, so to me it's disqualified automatically.

(Wait. You know a Shachris? Or a Shacharit? Do I know you?)


Shacharit. In english that would be pronounced shachris.
Moledet is giving birth, no? It's just weird. In english would some call their child "Childbirth or Labor of Emunah?"

Shachar is sunrise. Shacharit is a prayer. There is a difference.
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amother
Coral


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 7:55 am
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
Chana Cohen-Alloro has a son named Ohev Yisrael. I think it's a beautiful name.

And I know a Teimani in his 40s who is named Goel.


Here's a name: Rav She'ar Yashuv (IIRC) Elyashiv. Was he named after a relative? If so, how did the name get into the family? Not that I know, but I am saying that there are acceptable options. I would sooner choose a more obscure but good name from Tanach than make something up but that's me.

I met a woman who was given a name by her new-agey rav to express faith. Emunah, right? No. Betucha. That I wouldn't do.
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 8:01 am
amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:
Shacharit. In english that would be pronounced shachris.
Moledet is giving birth, no? It's just weird. In english would some call their child "Childbirth or Labor of Emunah?"

Shachar is sunrise. Shacharit is a prayer. There is a difference.

Moledet is homeland.

I only know one Shacharit and one person who called her Shachris. I'm wondering if there are several Shacharits, or if we know each other.

Shachar and Shacharit have different meanings, but you would never call a girl Shachara, so Shacharit is a nice feminization of the name. (Of course there are girls named Shachar.)

Anyways the Shacharit I know was named such because just like shachar is the beginning of the day, she was the beginning of her parents' family (she's the eldest). Kind of like Reishit, I guess (I know a few of those).
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 8:09 am
amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:
Shacharit. In english that would be pronounced shachris.
Moledet is giving birth, no? It's just weird. In english would some call their child "Childbirth or Labor of Emunah?"

Shachar is sunrise. Shacharit is a prayer. There is a difference.

If someone's name is Shacharit, it should be pronounced the way the person wants it to be pronounced. Not sure why you think it would be "Shacharis" in English - I think you mean if spoken with an Ashkanzazi pronunciation.

I have a friend named Tiferet. Some people call her Tiferes and it really upsets her. It is not what she wants to be called and people should respect that.
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ora_43




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 8:41 am
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
Hey, hey!

I met someone who named her baby Mevaseret. Why is Moledet worse? They are both beautiful names.
And Shacharit is also a nice name, and not so weird. There are tons of Shachars around.
Mincha is also the name of a specific korban, so to me it's disqualified automatically.

(Wait. You know a Shachris? Or a Shacharit? Do I know you?)

Margarine is a pretty word, and almost exactly like Margaret.

Still not a name I'd give a kid.

A lot of words are pretty. IMHO fibula, tenuous, mellifluous, and stolid are all nice-sounding words. But a name needs to be more than pretty. It needs to be something that reads and sounds like a human name, that doesn't have negative connotations, and that won't have the name-bearer dealing with perplexed reactions from pre-K to age 120.

JM(nsh)O.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 8:42 am
I was thinking about this topic lately. As I got older I also went from prefering longer unique names to shorter but beautiful and more common yet not ultra common names. I think right before you name your instinct always kicks in as you look at the baby.
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 8:45 am
ora_43 wrote:
Margarine is a pretty word, and almost exactly like Margaret.

Still not a name I'd give a kid.

A lot of words are pretty. IMHO fibula, tenuous, mellifluous, and stolid are all nice-sounding words. But a name needs to be more than pretty. It needs to be something that reads and sounds like a human name, that doesn't have negative connotations, and that won't have the name-bearer dealing with perplexed reactions from pre-K to age 120.

JM(nsh)O.

Moledet and Shacharit have meaning, sound like human names (unique human names), and they don't have negative connotations. In certain communities, there are also no perplexed reactions.

If you name your child Snowball, or Sheleg, that might be different. Those are dog names, not human names.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 8:49 am
On a funnier note, I met a couple in Tzfat who named their son "Arizal" because they didn't realize that the original Rav was Ari Z"L....

gotta do your homework folks! LOL
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heidi




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 8:52 am
I know an Israeli named ביטחה. Unusual and I thought pretty.
Till my kids pointed out how it would be spelled in English.
OP, in my DL community literally anything goes.
We have בכול, שונמית, תאיר ציון etc.
I don't think you can outdo the Israelis
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banana123




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 8:53 am
amother [ Pearl ] wrote:
On a funnier note, I met a couple in Tzfat who named their son "Arizal" because they didn't realize that the original Rav was Ari Z"L....

gotta do your homework folks! LOL

LOL
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amother
Violet


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 8:54 am
I'm from an American yeshivish community and I have a very unusual name. I always have people ask me to repeat it and how to spell it.

But I also get a lot of compliments on my name. It's a very pretty name and I've always loved it and loved feeling unique.

I gave my kids names that are a little different, but still recognizable in our community. So they are one of 3 kids in the entire school with that name instead of one of three in the class. And none of them are ugly names. We have a few ugly family names and I wont use those even though I feel strongly about naming after ancestors.
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icedcoffee




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 9:03 am
I absolutely love seeing people with unusual names but I don't know if I'll do it myself. Some people can completely own it (I have a relative named Phoenix, she's not frum lol but it suits her perfectly), but others of course feel saddled with it and it doesn't always fit. I like the idea of something recognizable but not commonly used, so you stand out in a classroom of multiple kids having the same name but you don't constantly get comments like "ooh, what an unusual name!" every time you introduce yourself, which I imagine gets tiring.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 9:07 am
amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:
Shacharit. In english that would be pronounced shachris.
Moledet is giving birth, no? It's just weird. In english would some call their child "Childbirth or Labor of Emunah?"

Shachar is sunrise. Shacharit is a prayer. There is a difference.
No, shachariT is the sfardi/israeli way of pronouncing it. ShachariS is the ashkenazi/yeshivish way its pronounced, not english.
In my community groeing up we had a bassie and a batya. Bassie was bassie and batya was batya. It was just different ways of pronouncing the name, not english and hebrew.
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chicco




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 9:09 am
If it sounds nice, is easily pronounced, and has meaning to it that a child can be proud of, I don't see why you need to put other restrictions on it. I really believe that a parent can frame a child's association with his or her name. If we have strong feelings of pride and appreciation for that name, and communicate that to our child, why wouldn't s/he be proud too?
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Wed, Jun 10 2020, 9:11 am
I did give dd an unusual name but added another more common name.
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