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amother
OP
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 Thu, Jun 11 2020, 9:34 pm
I’m not counting on anyone with a good heart to help us. No one has ever helped us up until now. And like I said people know we are struggling. I mean, yeah once in awhile people will send a Chanukah gift for my kids but that’s it. I don’t mean to sound like I don’t appreciate that. I do.
| crust wrote: | Its horrible to feel unsupported by a community but we must have some trust in humanity in order to move forward in life.
Petra's post is spot on. Maybe there is someone here that can guide you? I dont think you need a rav now. All you need now is someone with a good heart.
Good luck and please know that there are people that really care. I'm not the only one.
Please feel free to pm me if you think I can help you.
Remember that most dark times do not last forever. Remember that you will see the light one day.
גם זה יעבר. |
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amother
Powderblue
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Thu, Jun 11 2020, 10:48 pm
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Pittsburgh is another community to consider with it's excellent medical care, quirky inclusive community, way more affordable housing than NY/NJ. The frum neighborhoods are Squirrel Hill and Greenfield. The idea posted earlier to ask DH's doctors for referrals to qualified colleagues in other cities is an excellent one. There's a new precision medicine center that just opened here that specializes in genetics. If Pittsburgh seems like a possibility for you then we can find a way to be in touch even though we are both currently anon.
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amother
Silver
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Fri, Jun 12 2020, 6:51 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | I’m not counting on anyone with a good heart to help us. No one has ever helped us up until now. |
Dear OP:
Since tzoros rabbim chatzi nechama if it's any comfort, I too have experienced never receiving appropriate-help at times I needed it. I'd sometimes receive things from people way after I needed those things, when I'm not even interested anymore. And for sure, G-d has pushed me OTD. My own situation has been horrible, way worse than most people in the frum world can imagine, with all sorts of machalot meshunot that nobody ever heard of, and consistently negative (or nonsensical) synchronicities, such as clock displaying 2:22 or 7:77 or 11:11 etc.etc.
"H.H." is what I've labelled my mazal for a long time, with H.H. standing for Health/Housing.
People are misled into thinking there's just spousal or child-abuse & so forth. Without considering that genetic-abuse (health) and metaphysical abuse (such as ayin-horah & mazal) can be like a Holocaust. If you're prepared to be horrified, I'll post a tip-of-iceberg sample at the end of this post in small font. Many decades ago I tried posting an ad for a support-group for abnormal mazal, but it was rejected by a frum publication as not meeting "rabbinical standards".
Now, here's the crucial point:
There's way more I can relate, but suffice, that I don't believe anyone in this thread brought up the relevant probability that end-times is imminent, rendering your particular worries moot. Just consider Covid, killer-hornets, rocky stock-market, and racial-tensions. Just listen to some of R'Mendel Kessin's or R'Pinchos Winston's latest shiurim. I'd mention other rabbis, as well as autistics' facilitated communications, but they can be rather intense, as are many on Coast2Coast.
My point, is that it's more urgent to stock up on tehillim and non-perishable food (and gifts or ammunition vs. toxic neighbors?) And if you're already going thru the hassle of moving, it's probably more urgent to make aliyah. I myself tried this past month, but ran out of strength. I mean, due to unstable times, what proof is there that a container would get there intact (and I'd only need a tiny container, not the usual). And housing costs there are just as difficult - I never did catch up financially due to health. It's too heartbreaking & massive for mere words.
Now to those not faint of heart, here's the sample I mentioned above:
Y'know how urine often gushes out...that's normal. What I've experienced is blood gushing from that same area for prolonged periods. I.E. severely abnormal UTI. The unhealthcare system never helped. Long story. It's that which was the OTD clincher for me decades ago (my religiosity is now a dry shell). It's my horrendous health which always prevented me from ever getting on with my life. A.k.a. "perpetual stagnation mode". Just so you know - you can always find someone worse off.
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amother
OP
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Fri, Jun 12 2020, 11:26 am
I’m very sorry that you are having major troubles too. Especially your health. It makes it very hard to keep any faith when your body is falling apart with nothing to help it.
We have considered aliyah but financially I don’t know if it would work and our kids are young but old enough that aliyah may be too difficult for them.
| amother [ Silver ] wrote: | Dear OP:
Since tzoros rabbim chatzi nechama if it's any comfort, I too have experienced never receiving appropriate-help at times I needed it. I'd sometimes receive things from people way after I needed those things, when I'm not even interested anymore. And for sure, G-d has pushed me OTD. My own situation has been horrible, way worse than most people in the frum world can imagine, with all sorts of machalot meshunot that nobody ever heard of, and consistently negative (or nonsensical) synchronicities, such as clock displaying 2:22 or 7:77 or 11:11 etc.etc.
"H.H." is what I've labelled my mazal for a long time, with H.H. standing for Health/Housing.
People are misled into thinking there's just spousal or child-abuse & so forth. Without considering that genetic-abuse (health) and metaphysical abuse (such as ayin-horah & mazal) can be like a Holocaust. If you're prepared to be horrified, I'll post a tip-of-iceberg sample at the end of this post in small font. Many decades ago I tried posting an ad for a support-group for abnormal mazal, but it was rejected by a frum publication as not meeting "rabbinical standards".
Now, here's the crucial point:
There's way more I can relate, but suffice, that I don't believe anyone in this thread brought up the relevant probability that end-times is imminent, rendering your particular worries moot. Just consider Covid, killer-hornets, rocky stock-market, and racial-tensions. Just listen to some of R'Mendel Kessin's or R'Pinchos Winston's latest shiurim. I'd mention other rabbis, as well as autistics' facilitated communications, but they can be rather intense, as are many on Coast2Coast.
My point, is that it's more urgent to stock up on tehillim and non-perishable food (and gifts or ammunition vs. toxic neighbors?) And if you're already going thru the hassle of moving, it's probably more urgent to make aliyah. I myself tried this past month, but ran out of strength. I mean, due to unstable times, what proof is there that a container would get there intact (and I'd only need a tiny container, not the usual). And housing costs there are just as difficult - I never did catch up financially due to health. It's too heartbreaking & massive for mere words.
Now to those not faint of heart, here's the sample I mentioned above:
Y'know how urine often gushes out...that's normal. What I've experienced is blood gushing from that same area for prolonged periods. I.E. severely abnormal UTI. The unhealthcare system never helped. Long story. It's that which was the OTD clincher for me decades ago (my religiosity is now a dry shell). It's my horrendous health which always prevented me from ever getting on with my life. A.k.a. "perpetual stagnation mode". Just so you know - you can always find someone worse off. |
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amother
OP
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Fri, Jun 12 2020, 11:27 am
Thank you. I’ll put Pittsburgh on the list of our places to consider.
| amother [ Powderblue ] wrote: | | Pittsburgh is another community to consider with it's excellent medical care, quirky inclusive community, way more affordable housing than NY/NJ. The frum neighborhoods are Squirrel Hill and Greenfield. The idea posted earlier to ask DH's doctors for referrals to qualified colleagues in other cities is an excellent one. There's a new precision medicine center that just opened here that specializes in genetics. If Pittsburgh seems like a possibility for you then we can find a way to be in touch even though we are both currently anon. |
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amother
Dodgerblue
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Sun, Jun 14 2020, 10:43 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | No. What I’m saying is why would Hashem let us flounder here away from everything Jewish for years and every time we get in a position to be in a community again it’s torn away from us.
We have kept Halacha alone, traveled long distances to have kosher food and other things we need. And yet...here we still are.
It’s more than not easy for our kids. They have no connection to real Jewish life here. No school, no Shul, nothing.
And we aren't being pulled from the outside we are being pushed from the inside.
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Is there a Chabad community Rabbi that someone here could recommend, that would help you settle somewhere that would work for you?
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amother
OP
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Sun, Jun 14 2020, 10:50 pm
| amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote: | | Is there a Chabad community Rabbi that someone here could recommend, that would help you settle somewhere that would work for you? |
I don’t really want to be in a kiruv community.
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tryinghard
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Sun, Jun 14 2020, 11:12 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | I’m very sorry that you are having major troubles too. Especially your health. It makes it very hard to keep any faith when your body is falling apart with nothing to help it.
We have considered aliyah but financially I don’t know if it would work and our kids are young but old enough that aliyah may be too difficult for them.
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It sounds like aliya may actually be a good idea. Your kids aren’t doing well either way. You are contemplating going OTD. You need a drastic change.
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amother
Dodgerblue
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Sun, Jun 14 2020, 11:26 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | I don’t really want to be in a kiruv community. |
Chabad operates in every community.
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amother
Lavender
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Sun, Jun 14 2020, 11:30 pm
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I don't think OP is intrested in solutions. It looks like this post was a vent.
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amother
Slateblue
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Sun, Jun 14 2020, 11:44 pm
I am coming in here a little late. It seems as though there where a few comunities like Twins River that you liked or your old community.I am not sure if I followed to the tea. However it seems that money can help you relocate and someone mentioned a go fun me. I saw you didn't like that idea. I doesnt seem like you are looking for major help sound like 1000- 1500 a month would do the job. That is getting a handful of women on ima to commit to 100 a month. I am sure that can be done in one hour, I can start with the first 100. If you want agree to this plan just one lady would have to get to know you.
Please respond if you agree and others will respond who will be the interim. I wish you best of luck, I may have missed something and this is not a solution forget it.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Jun 15 2020, 7:02 am
That’s very kind of you but I couldn’t ask for something like that.
| amother [ Slateblue ] wrote: | I am coming in here a little late. It seems as though there where a few comunities like Twins River that you liked or your old community.I am not sure if I followed to the tea. However it seems that money can help you relocate and someone mentioned a go fun me. I saw you didn't like that idea. I doesnt seem like you are looking for major help sound like 1000- 1500 a month would do the job. That is getting a handful of women on ima to commit to 100 a month. I am sure that can be done in one hour, I can start with the first 100. If you want agree to this plan just one lady would have to get to know you.
Please respond if you agree and others will respond who will be the interim. I wish you best of luck, I may have missed something and this is not a solution forget it. |
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amother
OP
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Mon, Jun 15 2020, 7:04 am
Of course I want solutions. I’m not expecting anyone here to find them for me though. And as wonderful as the suggestions here are I have no way to make them work.
| amother [ Lavender ] wrote: | | I don't think OP is intrested in solutions. It looks like this post was a vent. |
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amother
Coral
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Mon, Jun 15 2020, 9:56 am
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Did you reach to to R Katz in twin rivers?
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amother
Slateblue
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Mon, Jun 15 2020, 10:00 am
[quote="amother [ OP ]"]Of course I want solutions. I’m not expecting anyone here to find them for me though. And as wonderful as the suggestions here are I have no way to make them work.
If let's say you can make a wish solution, what would it be? I am only asking that you are saying the solutions here can't work so maybe we are not understanding the issue? I mean there's been no quit a few nice solutions to the issue we think it is. Idk🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ I am really trying to help.
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amother
Goldenrod
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Mon, Jun 15 2020, 10:09 am
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I'm so sorry for what you're enduring now. It sounds like your job is something that could be done elsewhere because it's not so specific. The thing that controls where you live is where your husband can get medical care. Whatever disease he has, there's almost certainly a Facebook group or online support community. Find those people and find out where you can move. There are places with good medical care, a low(er) cost of living and a Jewish community.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Jun 15 2020, 10:46 am
My wish solution is to be able to buy a house in a good community and not ever move again. But the issue is financial and my husbands illness. All of the suggestions are great except we can’t afford to move into areas that were suggested due to the prices.
[quote="amother [ Slateblue ]"] | amother [ OP ] wrote: | Of course I want solutions. I’m not expecting anyone here to find them for me though. And as wonderful as the suggestions here are I have no way to make them work.
If let's say you can make a wish solution, what would it be? I am only asking that you are saying the solutions here can't work so maybe we are not understanding the issue? I mean there's been no quit a few nice solutions to the issue we think it is. Idk🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ I am really trying to help. |
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amother
OP
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Mon, Jun 15 2020, 10:49 am
He is aware of support groups online. I don’t know if any specifically frum or Jewish. The other issue isn’t just his specific doctors but the “practice.” I know I sound crazy lol. I’m trying not to give too much detail because people may guess who I am. Although I don’t know why it matters.
| amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote: | | I'm so sorry for what you're enduring now. It sounds like your job is something that could be done elsewhere because it's not so specific. The thing that controls where you live is where your husband can get medical care. Whatever disease he has, there's almost certainly a Facebook group or online support community. Find those people and find out where you can move. There are places with good medical care, a low(er) cost of living and a Jewish community. |
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amother
Goldenrod
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Mon, Jun 15 2020, 10:55 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | He is aware of support groups online. I don’t know if any specifically frum or Jewish. The other issue isn’t just his specific doctors but the “practice.” I know I sound crazy lol. I’m trying not to give too much detail because people may guess who I am. Although I don’t know why it matters.
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The groups don't have to be frum or Jewish. They just have to have other people getting help for the same disease. And if someone in Florida or Texas or Minnesota or anyplace else is getting good care, it's worth checking out that community. It's almost never the case that you need a particular doctor or practice and no one else in the country can help. There are a lot of doctors out there.
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amother
Lavender
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Mon, Jun 15 2020, 11:27 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | My wish solution is to be able to buy a house in a good community and not ever move again. But the issue is financial and my husbands illness. All of the suggestions are great except we can’t afford to move into areas that were suggested due to the prices.
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Lets say you dont have to worry about finances and doctors.
What is the wish community?
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