Men exercising in chareidi areas

Ora in town

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 10:22 am

heidi wrote:

I know a few families in Beitar- some chassidish some litvish.
No one in kollel
I have been there to visit during the week and for shabbat smachot.
I have never seen any man in anything other than black and white.
I saw couples exercise walking but the man was in black and white.

But how do people conclude from there that children might not be accepted into schools, or thrown out of schools, if their father abides "we nishmartem meod et nafshoteichem" and does exercice to combat the nr. 1 cause of mortality in our time: sedentary lifestyle, while dressing appropriately for his activity: in sports clothes...

I think that is a harsh thing to say about a town...

Elfrida

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 10:29 am

Ora in town wrote:

As stated above, this is not a theoretical discussion. This is people who live there and are familiar with the society stating the facts on the ground. The facts are that if you do not follow what is socially accepted- and there are exercise options that are fully acceptable - then society will not fully accept you.

Your opinion of whether it is harsh or not doesn't have much impact. Nor does it help the OP make decisions about where she wants to live.

amother

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 10:51 am

Success10 wrote:

You are right. For those of us to whom it does not come naturally, it can be a stressful existence trying to fit in. I have really thought hard about my choice to live in a mainstream Chareidi neighborhood, and I think (for our family) the payoff is worth it.

I would love to hear more about why you decided to live where you do, and how it is working for you.

amother

Cobalt

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 12:40 pm

When we lived in Yerushalayim 5 yrs ago, chareidi neighborhood, no one chareidi wore colored shirts.
I assume it's the same in beitar.

There were Americans from Ramat Eshkol/Arzei/Maalot Dafna areas who I'd occasionally see running at night, not in their white shirts, black pants.

But that is NOT typical chareidi.

amother

Silver

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 12:43 pm

dancingqueen wrote:

That’s what I was thinking, if it’s so difficult for a man to exercise appropriately, how much more so for a woman in those neighborhoods.

I think public exercise for women is rare (aside from power walking). But there are so many gyms, exercise classes, fitness studios, etc. They seem to mostly be geared toward women although I've seen ads which mention men's hours/classes.

There's a big difference between not exercising in public and not exercising at all.

Elfrida

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 12:50 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thank you everyone.

I agree with whoever said that it can be exhausting to try to fit into norms when it does not come naturally. That's why I asked--we're trying to determine just how uncomfortable living in Beitar would be for us. It is not our first choice of a place to live. We would way, way prefer to live in a more diverse place. If we move to Beitar, it would be because of many other considerations that make it the most practical choice for us. The question is: is it worth it? Or would we better off making other concessions (longer commute times, for example) in order to avoid it?

It seems to me that those who can comfortably find work/schools/shul/community/home all in one place are lucky! We are trying to make the best choice of the options we have...

I think everyone makes compromises when they decide where to live. You have to decide what your real priority is, and then make everything else work around it. A bit like shidduchim!

It's easier as a young couple, before you have to consider schools, but it's very rare to find a perfect environment.

Success10

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 1:14 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I would love to hear more about why you decided to live where you do, and how it is working for you.

You can for sure PM me.

I just want to say that I've found Chareidim to be generally welcoming and friendly to all types and colors. They are also pretty open-minded when you get to know them. The shul is not completely black and white either, there are always individuals that don't fit the mold, and they are treated with respect, although not fully integrated into the community. The school system is generally looking for a certain "type", and it is what it is, but I find my neighbors very pleasant, even if I don't always understand the mentality. I find them to be very special people who desire to maximize their days fulfilling Avodas Hashem. In bein adam l'makom and chaveiro.

Elfrida

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 3:51 pm

I've been thinking about this. OP, you are doing a lot of research here about different communities, and I imagine you are using other resources as well. All the research in the world doesn't make up for personal experience. Normally the first advice would be to do a pilot trip and see for yourself, but of course that is impossible right now.

Where you choose to live is not an irrevocable decision. Yes, its nice to be a to settle, but a lot of people move in the first years after making aliyah.

What I would reccomend is first choose a school for your children. Then pick a potential neighbourhood, near the school, and take a years lease on an apartment there. During that year, take the time to see how you fit into that neighbourhood and what the problems are. Explore other options when you can actually see them and speak to the people there. See exactly would compromises you would need to make, and if you feel that they are worth it.

Making aliyah is a huge adaptation. There is no need to hurry it. It's more important to take time to make the right decisions and be able to adapt to the right part of Israeli society.

Ora in town

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 4:02 pm

Success10 wrote:

At last you also said something nice about those communities!
Thank you!

Aylat

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 4:14 pm

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

I never really thought about how hard it is to be part of the charedi public and exercise. As a charedi woman, I don't exercise at all (apart from lugging a bunch of kids in a twin stroller, if that counts??) No wonder there are such issues with obesity these days.

It definitely is! I was at my fittest in my pre-car days when I lugged a double buggy with 2-3 kids in it, plus my heavy work bag, a mile each way to school and work every day.

etky

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 4:40 pm

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

Yup.
We had an amazing Zumba teacher from Beitar who taught for a number of years at our exercise studio here in Efrat.
Well, she no longer teaches here.
She opened her own studio in Beitar and is reportedly hugely successful and insanely busy.
And I'm sure she must have tons of competition there too.

amother

Papaya

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 3:54 am

Success10 wrote:

I just want to say that I've found Chareidim to be generally welcoming and friendly to all types and colors. They are also pretty open-minded when you get to know them. The shul is not completely black and white either, there are always individuals that don't fit the mold, and they are treated with respect, although not fully integrated into the community. The school system is generally looking for a certain "type", and it is what it is, but I find my neighbors very pleasant, even if I don't always understand the mentality. I find them to be very special people who desire to maximize their days fulfilling Avodas Hashem. In bein adam l'makom and chaveiro.

I agree with this. I posted above as the wife of an Israeli who does fit this mold. He does not make an effort to wear this uniform- it is all he's ever done and he has no problem doing it. My neighbor goes out in a white polo in the summer. He's BT and heavier, and I guess the white dress shirts are too much for him. He's also not in kollel. He's a different type. Our children are in the same schools and from what I've seen nobody treats him poorly. He just stands out a bit as different. He also wears regular T-shirts and I think sweatpants in the house/garden, which my husband has never done. My husband tucks in his shirt before going out to our garden! Even if it's his totally ripped "work shirt." But we don't usually iron his white shirts, so I'm sure he sticks out as different in his own way! If something is never ever done where you choose to live, I think that would make anyone uncomfortable.

Ora in town

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 3:59 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Would it be acceptable for a man to go running or bike riding in a chareidi area wearing shorts and a t-shirt?

Would people be just surprised/look at him funny, or would it genuinely upset them?

(Trying to think of where to live and this is something that would be important to my husband--to be able to go running without ruffling feathers)

Why doesn't your husband start a new trend?
If you don't challenge people to accept you the way you are - how will you ever find out if they accept you or just an image you project?

Success10

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 4:40 am

Ora in town wrote:

Why doesn't your husband start a new trend?
If you don't challenge people to accept you the way you are - how will you ever find out if they accept you or just an image you project?

I think it's easier to change his clothes than to try to change an entire society.

Ora in town

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 4:46 am

Success10 wrote:

I think it's easier to change his clothes than to try to change an entire society.

You might be right...
And it might not be a good idea to go jogging in a busy city-center anyway...
Actually, when I think about it, I would find it strange to see a jogger in the middle of the city center or shopping area in my town...
Joggers tend to be in certain, more recreational areas, like along a river, or a lake, or in the woods, or on a designated jogging trail...

So you are right that it might to be considered strange to show up in sports gear right in the middle of the city center...

amother

Pink

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 4:48 am

I didn't read all of the responses, but my husband exercises every. single. day. All of my kids are in the best chareidi schools. If he runs in our neighborhood, it's usually on the outskirts, in t-shirt and Adidas running shorts (gasp!) and baseball cap. But he likes to run on the tracks in Jerusalem and other cities if he can get there.
Yes, I supposed it would pose a problem if people noticed or chose to focus on it. But most people don't notice. If some do, they keep it to themselves. Some probably understand he's a baal teshuva and a part of who he is. He was also in kollel forever, so they know what kind of person he is.
My husband also plays other sports all around the country with all sorts of other men, and let me tell you, it makes a huge kiddush Hashem when they see he is chareidi, normal, and a big mensch.
Feel free to ask more Smile

etky

Tue, Jun 16 2020, 4:58 am

Ora in town wrote:

Halevai that we had more of those here in Israel.
Most people in urban areas jog where they can, so it's not unusual to see joggers in built up and even near commercial areas.
Maybe not in the center of town itself but definitely along main thoroughfares that have sidewalks.
In small towns like Efrat there is not that much differentiation between shopping areas and areas where one might jog. I imagine that there are plenty of towns and outlying neighborhoods of large cities like that too.