If your ds is not athletic, does social life suffer?

amother

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 12:20 pm

If your ds is not athletic but his classmates all are to some extent, does his social life suffer?
Can sports be taught or is it an inborn skill?

Amarante

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 1:17 pm

Sports are a form of bonding - especially for boys.

Of course sports skills can be taught. That is why there are coaches and instructors. Most boys are taught the rudiments by their fathers if the father likes sports.

Your son might benefit from your hiring a private person to help him acquire basic skills so he isn't embarrassed when he shows up to play. I would imagine you could find a teenage boy who would be happy to help your son learn for a bit of money.

amother

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 1:29 pm

My husband and I are not at all athletic.
I'm going to look into lessons. (I like the idea of a teenager but would rather someone with experience.)
Would watching sports games also help?

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 1:34 pm

My son is not athletic in team sports but socially it did help that he is an avid fan and could talk about "his" professional sports teams with his friends in school. I credit my sister (

) with inviting my son over to watch his first football game since we were not football watchers in this family.

Amarante

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 1:36 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My husband and I are not at all athletic.
I'm going to look into lessons. (I like the idea of a teenager but would rather someone with experience.)
Would watching sports games also help?

No - sports is a hands on skill. Watching sports helps you understand the rules of a game but does nothing in terms of helping one play.

Depending on what sport you are interested in - baseball or basketball - are probably the two sports most boys play on a casual level - you could see if coaches or physical ed teachers are interested in tutoring.

There are boys who have no interest in sports either so no shame in that as boys bond over interests in computers, comic adventures, space etc. but if the boys in the immediate neighborhood are out playing casually, it's good at least to be able to participate at a certain level. That way when he starts hanging out with them he would fit in more easily.

giselle

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 1:36 pm

My son is average at sports. He’s gotten better with practice. But he always plays sports with kids in the neighborhood and he has lots of friends. I don’t think he has to be the best at sports to be popular, but like others have said, that’s how boys connect. I don’t know where you’re located, but a lot of communities have frum sports groups which is a great way for him to get better at sports and make friends.

ETA, you can also get a basketball hoop and have him practice on his own. My son’s basketball skills have improved greatly with practice at home.

Amarante

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 1:39 pm

giselle wrote:

Right - you don't have to be gifted athletically in order to fit in with a group of boys playing casually. However you do need to have minimal skills at the game so that you can play along with them.

amother

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 1:41 pm

giselle wrote:

I don't have a safe space for a hoop unfortunately. I'm going to look around for groups- we're in Lakewood.

amother

Aquamarine

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 4:02 pm

Yes and yes!

My 3 boys are not athletic. Not only aren't they athletic, they older ones actually hate sports. They are more brainy intellectuals. Just like their father who hated sports. I wasn't athletic, but didn't mind playing sports. We moved to our current city when my oldest son was in 5th. He sat on the side reading, while the rest of the class played foot ball. He's more of an introvert. It took him a very long time to make friends. Which he actually has absolutely nothing to do with now that he's in yeshiva. My second is more outgoing. He also hates sports, but he also has so many interesting ideas. He always had company outside during recess when the other boys took a break from the game. My 3rd son tolerates sports, but doesn't love it. Mazal, all his friends are like him and they do other fun things during recess. They come up with creative games to play. He also is outgoing and friendly, so he's well liked even by the athletic boys.

mommy3b2c

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 4:04 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My husband and I are not at all athletic.
I'm going to look into lessons. (I like the idea of a teenager but would rather someone with experience.)
Would watching sports games also help?

My business is sports coaching. I only hire professionals. If you’re in NY/NJ you can pm me.the reason I started this business is because of my son who was really terrible at sports and I needed to help him.

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 4:09 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If your ds is not athletic but his classmates all are to some extent, does his social life suffer?
Can sports be taught or is it an inborn skill?

To answer your first question I would assume evry kid is different. Some get effected some dont.
Your second question, I am sure he's just got to figure out what he's good at like which position. If he is tall he can rebound and take defense maybe not a good shooter etc... Lakewood boys are not that athletic like non jews who take it much more seriously that he has to be a real athlete to play he just has to find his role. My husband is a great basketball player but he can't hit a baseball.

Good luck