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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
TERRIFIED of bugs, won't go outside 😭
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jun 15 2020, 11:26 pm
What do I do, what do I do?? We were at the park today and my daughter saw a wasp on the equipment and made us leave the park cuz she was SURE there would be more wasps😭 here's the bigger issue: I know she gets the fear from me. I'm absolutely TERRIFIED of bees and wasps. I was never stung, never had a bad interaction with any, and in fact, I remember countless times just "standing still" waiting for them to fly away. But now I run in fear. And passed that fear down to my daughter 😭😭😭 I feel so bad! Now she doesn't like to go out if it's hot! We can't be stuck inside all day, especially with corona when we can't go anywhere else... Today I tried to excitedly encourage her to try other equipment not near the wasp, but she refused. So I thought fine- I'd rather leave than force her to do something if she'll be anxious the whole time...what to do???
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ExtraCredit




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 15 2020, 11:31 pm
Park! She said park! You went to a park? As in PARK, PARK? Was it open? Where is it? Did you wear a mask? Did your daughter? Was it full? Would they still have place for me and mine? Please just tell me where it is! I’m park deprived, and park hungry.
About the bugs, just tell them all to bug off!
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flmommy




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 15 2020, 11:33 pm
Does she have anxiety over other things or just bugs?
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jun 15 2020, 11:37 pm
Lol surplus, Chicago Smile yes some parks here are open! We only go if we see not too many ppl are there. We stay as far away from ppl as we can. Masks only, no gloves- just constant hand sanitizing, plus a good wash with we get home. That's what our doc said, and what we are comfy with.
It's hard to tell the bugs to bug off!!! They often don't listen!!
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jun 15 2020, 11:39 pm
Flmommy, yes. Separation anxiety. She's in therapy currently. Just started.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Mon, Jun 15 2020, 11:44 pm
Did her anxiety suddenly start or she always had it? Does she get strep often ..... if the separation anxiety is a new thing and other things are concerning maybe look into pandas ....
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amother
Denim


 

Post Mon, Jun 15 2020, 11:49 pm
My daughter was terrified of bees. We discovered a therapist that specializes in phobias using exposure therapy. It only requires a couple of sessions and it really works. My daughter needs a refresher every spring, her phobia comes back since she has no exposure to bees over the winter. she still doesn't like being outside for long stretches of time, but it was life changing.

There's a place called the center for anxiety in Brooklyn that deals with this, maybe they can recommend someone in Chicago.
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ExtraCredit




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 15 2020, 11:56 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Lol surplus, Chicago Smile yes some parks here are open! We only go if we see not too many ppl are there. We stay as far away from ppl as we can. Masks only, no gloves- just constant hand sanitizing, plus a good wash with we get home. That's what our doc said, and what we are comfy with.
It's hard to tell the bugs to bug off!!! They often don't listen!!

Sorry I don’t have better advice, but I’ll certainly consider relocating to Chicago. Good luck!
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jun 15 2020, 11:57 pm
Apricot, no. BH no strep, and anxieties didn't start suddenly..it was gradual.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jun 15 2020, 11:58 pm
Another denim, will look into it, thanks!!
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Tue, Jun 16 2020, 12:07 am
amother [ Denim ] wrote:
My daughter was terrified of bees. We discovered a therapist that specializes in phobias using exposure therapy. It only requires a couple of sessions and it really works. My daughter needs a refresher every spring, her phobia comes back since she has no exposure to bees over the winter. she still doesn't like being outside for long stretches of time, but it was life changing.

There's a place called the center for anxiety in Brooklyn that deals with this, maybe they can recommend someone in Chicago.


Would you mind summarizing how it works, my dd is also scared of bees and we can't go to therapy right now.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Tue, Jun 16 2020, 12:19 am
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
Would you mind summarizing how it works, my dd is also scared of bees and we can't go to therapy right now.


I dropped her off so I can't tell you exactly what she said, but basically the first time they went to a place that had an indoor enclosed beehive, the 2nd time they went to a park, and the 3rd time they went to an outdoor area with lots of flowers and bees. When I picked her up after an hour she was calmly watching them! I couldn't believe it.
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Rappel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 16 2020, 12:28 am
Maybe I'm the wrong person for advice, because while I've been very afraid of things in life, they've never developed into a phobia. I usually make myself do whatever scares me, barring extremely dangerous situations, and then I'm not afraid anymore.


But I would have made her stay, and talked her through the fact that there is nothing to fear, and shown her that. There is a difference between fearing your environment and respecting your environment, and teaching your daughter how to behave around wasps and bees (and any environmental factor) is an important life skill, completely independent of her fear.

I'm sorry that you have a similar fear. It sounds really debilitating. What can you do to master it and treat the situation in accordance with reality?
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amother
Lavender


 

Post Tue, Jun 16 2020, 12:44 am
Perfect. She will find a nice husband... Being afraid of little insects and making a scene is key to awakening the protector instinct...
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amother
Navy


 

Post Tue, Jun 16 2020, 12:56 am
My kids all had a phase where bugs drive them crazy. Never thought of it to be alarming enough to run to therapy.

Here’s what I found helpful, positive reinforcement for when they handle it calmly. Reminding those around them not to make any alarming bug comments...(for ex other sins or even an adult hollering “a spider” is bad enough to trigger such sensitive kids to get anxious over bugs.

We have books about bugs, I taught them the names of common bugs, I taught them how to swat away a fly when it gets too close from when they’re 15 months.

I try to make it more fun and interesting like ohhhh let’s count his legs, did u see that spot on his wing? Once they prove to themselves that they cud handle it they usually get over it with encouragement.

A cute book idea u could do with her:
Chanted like “We’re going on a bear hunt”
We’re going on a bug hunt!
We’re going to catch some big ones.
What a sunny day! Are you ready? OK!

Oh my! A bee!
A black & yellow bee,
Flying over the flowers.
BUZZ…..

We’re going on a bug hunt!
We’re going to catch some big ones.
What a sunny day!
Are you ready? OK!

Oh, my! An ant!
A tiny, black ant,
Crawling through the grass.
Shh…

We’re going on a bug hunt!
We’re going to catch some big ones.
What a sunny day!
Are you ready? OK!

Oh, my! A grasshopper!
A big, green grasshopper,
Hopping around the tree.
Boing, boing…

We’re going on a bug hunt!
We’re going to catch some big ones.
What a sunny day!
Are you ready? OK!

Oh, my! A butterfly!
A pretty, orange butterfly,
Floating in the sky.
Whoosh, whoosh…

We’re going on bug hunt!
We’re going to catch some big ones.
What a sunny day!
Are you ready? OK!

Oh my! A spider!
A big black spider,
Creeping on the tree. Creep, creep…
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amother
Navy


 

Post Tue, Jun 16 2020, 12:57 am
*other sibs
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 16 2020, 8:00 am
Rappel, barring going to therapy myself, I see no way out of this. It's something I'm actually considering, once I have the insurance... It's definitely effecting our lives... Definitely needs to be dealt with (on sukkos, I'm only outside for Kiddush and hamotzi. As soon as the first bee enters the sukkah, I eat inside.). Funny thing is, it doesn't stop me from going outside on a nice summer day. I just dunno how to tell my daughter we can just choose to walk (or even run!) away and continue playing/walking. She gets so anxious. Definitely gonna look into therapy for both of us
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Tue, Jun 16 2020, 8:57 am
My ds was spending hours raking in our yard every day. Until... we found a tick on him. Now he refuses to go out in the yard anymore. I told him I will buy a special bug spray and when we spray it on him, no bugs will go near him. He keeps asking me if I bought the spray yet... maybe try an insect repellent
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 16 2020, 9:02 am
Aqua, we've used bug spray!! Can you recommend one that really works well?
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Tue, Jun 16 2020, 9:37 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Aqua, we've used bug spray!! Can you recommend one that really works well?


Yes! Try “ cutter” with 40% deet. This really works.
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