From which age do you allow make-up?

amother

Rose

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 5:11 am

Starting in High School (so age 14 approximately)
One of the uniform rules is no makeup in school so it's mostly only Shabbos at that age. Though my girls have told me some use concealer or other not so noticeable makeup in school. (If it's not noticable it's not a problem ;-) )

I'm wondering how many women who selected 16 or older actually have teen daughters? In my daughters' circles (BY school but NOT very right wing) it's normal for girls to start using makeup in high school for Shabbos. Though I've heard that in Lakewood many girls don't start until 11th grade.

Elfrida

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 5:37 am

I've never thought about it. I don't wear make up, and somehow I never thought about them wanting to. Or not. For want if any better ideas, I'd probably go with school rules. If social pressure really becomes an issue, I suppose I'd have to consider that. As long as they don't demand I wear it!

amother

Cerise

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 6:35 am

realsilver wrote:

What does that even mean?

You shouldn't teach your daughters that they need to enhance their appearances in order to look pretty.

amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 6:53 am

This whole concept of teaching your daughters they don’t need makeup to look pretty... it’s nice but at the end of the day some girls just like to wear makeup. My father always said he thinks women look prettier without makeup, but honestly I am very pale skinned and look terrible without makeup. With just a little makeup I look gorgeous. I mean, people stop me in the street to tell me type of gorgeous. So it’s nice that you want to teach this ideal to your daughters, but sometimes it’s really just pushing your own agenda. If you truly want your daughters to grow into healthy adults, let them be their own person (obviously within reason).

amother

Cyan

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 9:25 am

I struggled with image as I was overweight. I think that made my parents more lenient with me. Normal was 11th grade on shabbos only. I got them to let me "learn how" a year or two early. If my girls have similar image issues (for whatever reason) I would let them have some tools to help them feel better about themselves. I hope they don't though as they are beautiful and hope they feel that way.

behappy2

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:04 am

I gave my 4 year old a make up bag and some makeup I don't use bec she was stealing mines LOL

I want to add that women wear makeup for multiple reasons but kids wear make up just for fun and to feel girly. Let kids be kids.

amother

Teal

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 12:29 pm

Lakewood, open minded yeshivish - for seventeenth birthday I take my daughters for a special shopping trip to pick out makeup in colors that compliment their skin tone. They look forward and count down the years until 17! We also start heels for Shabbos at 17. It's special and even though some beg and harass to wear earlier, I think it's a milestone to look forward to, part of becoming grown up. I am a BIG believer in introducing concepts at age appropriate times in all areas.

SixOfWands

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 1:41 pm

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

You shouldn't teach your daughters that they need to enhance their appearances in order to look pretty.

So does that mean that you buy them grungy clothes that don't fit properly, based solely on price. "You don't need nice clothes to look pretty."

You don't style their hair in a cute way, or buy them hair ornaments. "You don't need to fuss with your hair to look pretty."

Or is the only line makeup?

My girls are allowed to play with makeup at home whenever they went. They can start wearing a little makeup outside at 12. They usually don't.

They don't need it to look pretty. But if they like it, sure.

amother

Gray

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 2:15 pm

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

Interesting. I never thought of it as a coming of age thing.
I let my girls wear make up when they want. They never wanted anything overdone. Some of my girls like it, some don't wear any make up beyond clear lip gloss, even at the age of 18. It was never a big deal.

As for heels - none of my girls like them and neither do I. No one begged to wear them. OK, maybe one girl begged at age 12, now that I recall. I bought her small heels and she soon realized how uncomfortable they are and never wore them again.

amother

Azure

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 2:42 pm

I feel so strongly that its a mistake to make an age. Some girls are desparate at 12 and some are happy to wear at 18....why make a time...when they want to and you agree its appropriate then it is. And as someone else said def not worth a fight over.
My mother didnt let me till I was 16...I was desp at 14 and would hide lipgloss in my pocket and put on as soon as I left the house...I mean lipgloss not anything else.

My girls tend to wear lipgloss from bas mitsvah for shabbos licht (it comes off after 10in anyway and its a nice way to mark bm If they ask or want) then really they only wear friday night a little mascara and light lipstick as and when they ready.
My 20 year old still wears only mascara and a little eye liner and gloss daily with shadow for friday night or events.

I would hate to think of any of my girls in foundation.

amother

Gray

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 2:48 pm

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

I would hate to think of any of my girls in foundation.

Actually foundation was a life saver for one of my girls until we discovered accutane.
I also used to put on very light foundation as a teenager when I had acne.

Which again, is another reason why there shouldn't be a specific age for make up. A 14 year old with acne may feel much better about herself if she can use foundation.

amother

Coral

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 3:31 pm

I beg all you moms, PLEASE DON'T FIGHT WITH YOUR GIRLS ABOUT THIS. PLEASE.

I promise you, IT'S NOT WORTH IT.

As long as they aren't violationg school policy, just let them start when they want to/when their friends start.

An extra year or two ( or even 3 or 4) of wearing makeup wont kill them or their faces, but the fights will kill your relationship.

Makeup is such an important part of growing up and becoming a teen girl.

Iymnok

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 4:09 pm

I didn’t know how to apply makeup well until my first date. I let my girls put on makeup For Friday night. They use my old eyeshadow, lip shimmer and sometimes blush. They sometimes look silly, but they are learning. They feel special and dressed up with it. If I have time I wipe off some to avoid the raccoon eyes.
They are 10 and 12. DDs 2 and 4 get a clean brush on their cheeks and some chapstick.

amother

Lavender

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 1:07 pm

I am not comfortable with getting my daughter started wearing makeup. I think a lot of Bais Yaakov girls from the finest homes overdo it with mascara and things and attract undue attention. I don't know that my daughter wants it either. But it is absolute societal expectation. It's a thing where I am so there goes the peer pressure and of course we have to do it now!
I believe in general it is best (if I had the option) to push these things off a couple years.

I feel like in Israel the standard is much stricter and who knows where she will end up in a couple years so thats another reason. Rather not get her started on these things when the desire is not coming from her anyway but societal pressure. But now I have no choice.

Moon613

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 1:35 pm

Can someone please explain the non tznius aspect

If you look like Mimi from Drew Carey show
Obviously it’s inappropriate

But you just put natural lipstick rouge and powder so you don’t look like death warmed over and scare people what’s wrong

chanatron1000

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 1:37 pm

Moon613 wrote:

But you just put natural lipstick rouge and powder so you don’t look like death warmed over and scare people what’s wrong

That's not a tznius problem, but it is a problem if you think the way you look without makeup is unacceptable.

yksraya

Tue, Dec 22 2020, 2:53 pm

At 15 for my sons bar mitzvah, and now she's almost 16 and wears lightly to cousins chasuna etc. Otherwise once she's out of school she will probably wear daily.