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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
At what age is a girl too old to come into her father’s bed?
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 6:24 am
Title says it all...
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 6:28 am
I stopped around 11.
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amother
Oak


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 6:37 am
I don't know how old the daughter is now, and what the reason is she comes to bed.
I know from a friend who had a son who went into his siblings, parents, and guest beds all the time when he was 3. I wasn't really affectionate with my father so I never did, my grandfather was really affectionate and he cuddled a lot with my mother.
I'm really affectionate too, and always want to cuddle too I think around 7/8 you should start to set a boundary and that more like ''you are a big girl, you can wait to cuddle with tatty''. I know a girl 12 years old and Chabad, who loves to be with her tatty and who is hugging her tatty. That is normal and BH for a good relationship with your parents. Please don't s-xualize a good father/daughter relationship. It is good to teach boundaries, and teaching being the boss of your own body
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Elfrida




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 6:38 am
I was never told not to, but I think I naturally stopped around age ten or eleven. That applied to going into my mothers bed as well.

It was more like not being a little girl and climbing into bed with parents any more. It never occurred to me to differentiate between fathers and mothers beds.
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:25 am
6/7 for going in a bed 11/12 with hugs and kisses.
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:42 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Title says it all...


I know this isn’t answering your question-but My dad slept in my bed til I was around 14
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:44 am
amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:
6/7 for going in a bed 11/12 with hugs and kisses.

😢😢😢😢
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:45 am
As long as they want to and feel comfortable. Let’s not sexualize love.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:46 am
amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:
6/7 for going in a bed 11/12 with hugs and kisses.

Why can’t a father hug and kiss his daughter? He’s allowed to and should be doing it , always. There is no age limit.
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:48 am
thunderstorm wrote:
Why can’t a father hug and kiss his daughter? He’s allowed to and should be doing it , always. There is no age limit.


A father may hug and kiss his daughter till 120. But I do think that hugging and kissing while laying together in bed is inappropriate. This applies to the father and mother.


Last edited by Blessing1 on Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:57 am; edited 1 time in total
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:49 am
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
I know this isn’t answering your question-but My dad slept in my bed til I was around 14
Hug
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:53 am
Huh? Hugs and kisses are forever. My father still gives me a peck on the cheek, and I'm in my 40's. DH hasn't stopped with the hugs and kisses to his girls either, nor should he.

I don't see any difference between mother's or father's bed, assuming the parent and the relationship is healthy. When my DD was in 2nd grade - around 8 or so - I decided that both DH and I were entitled to space and sleep at night and informed her she had to sleep in her own bed.

She sometimes still came and we found her with pillow and blanket on the floor between our beds, but that petered out eventually.

(sometimes the rule slackened a bit. like when she was sick with a fever. stuff like that.)

They are still welcome to come "visit" in the morning, and they do.
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Motherhood




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:12 am
Kiss and hug as long as you want. Sleep in their bed? I wouldn’t let above 3. Not because of the gender difference, but it’s time they learn to sleep in their own bed.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:26 am
amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:
6/7 for going in a bed 11/12 with hugs and kisses.


Do you mean to say a father should stop hugging and kissing his daughter??

I hope not. A father should always hug and kiss his daughter.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:27 am
Zehava wrote:
As long as they want to and feel comfortable. Let’s not sexualize love.


This. I probably stopped as a young teen, but I do remember one time at around the age of 18 I had horrible nightmares and I went into his bed for comfort. He was able to comfort me more then my mother was.
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:29 am
I was a real daddy’s girl and used to go into my fathers bed every night. My father told me that once I turn 9, I’ll be too old to sleep in his bed. He followed through on my ninth bday.
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 12:45 pm
Blessing1 wrote:
A father may hug and kiss his daughter till 120. But I do think that hugging and kissing while laying together in bed is inappropriate. This applies to the father and mother.


This is what I meant by the ages I listed. One age for sleeping in the same bed and another for physical affection while in bed. I was always a Daddy’s Girl. Father can and should comfort outside of a bed. Let him get out of bed and hug.
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 12:45 pm
DD 14 still sometimes comes for a cuddle in bed with DH before going to sleep. (She sleeps in her own bed of course.)
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 12:46 pm
amother [ Indigo ] wrote:
DD 14 still sometimes comes for a cuddle in bed with DH before going to sleep.


A do you think that this is appropriate? A teen cuddling in bed with her father?
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 3:14 pm
Maybe move the cuddle to the couch, that sounds better...like when everyone is unwinding after dinner she can read a book leaning into him or something. A kiss and hug before bed is fine for any age:)
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