Why does having guests have to involve meals?

SixOfWands

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 1:41 pm

amother [ White ] wrote:

Really? Did a rabbi tell you

That's always been my understanding as well. That it means hosting those in need of hosting, not having some friends over. No source.

In my community, people do get together after lunch. But remember, in winter, with short Shabbat, there's not much time. There's more time in summer. But if you have small kids, by time you have lunch, clean up, deal with naps and playdates and park and whatever, who has time to walk to someone's house.

avrahamama

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 1:43 pm

amother [ White ] wrote:

Really? Did a rabbi tell you

My rav told me. That inviting my buddies for a meal is not hachnasat orchim. But inviting a meshulach is. Or hosting a family that is in town for medical care is.

chicco

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 2:12 pm

This is a bit bizzare to me. We invite (or used to, before corona) people to share our meals because it makes our meals more festive. We also go visit people in the afternoon (with or without invitation) and people visit us, also unexpectedly. Whenever I prepare for shabbos, I always have something baked to have around for unexpected guests. I also try to have fruit and drinks. If you want to invite people just for something in particular go for it, but why is this a "thing"?

keym

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 2:15 pm

I find that out lives are so hectic that when we finally get together with our friends, we want to do it for several hours, which inevitably leads us to meal time on Shabbos either lunch or supper.

RuralIma

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 2:39 pm

Pre-corona we enjoyed hosting for meals on occasion but we also did game nights with snacks, had people over for coffee/tea.
It's definitely easier to coordinate with people for a time to come visit if it's around a meal time since they have to eat anyway but it is a lot more work. As far as the why, I think it's cultural, for me personally it's been ingrained in me from a young age that if someone comes to your house, you feed them.

zaq

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 3:56 pm

Success10 wrote:

People are just rushing rushing rushing all day. The only time they stop and sit is during a meal, so it makes sense to invite them for something they'll be doing anyway. Any weekday afternoon, no one has time to come over.

Shabbos and yontif are different, since the whole afternoon is pretty much available, but the crux of Shabbos and Yontif is the meal, and inviting people for the meal.

This.

amother

Teal

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 10:45 am

Easy solution- invite your friends for dessert.

If I am in the mood to see some friends, but I am too tired to cook a large meal, I ask them to come over for dessert.

In our home, dessert stretches out for several hours. It’s when everyone noshes and relaxes after a nice meal. People from the neighborhood can pop in and out during time. Everyone else is done with their meal and is looking to hangout.

I leave out drinks, cut up fruit, garinim and cake.

cuffs

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 11:49 am

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

Or you can make a simple meal,
Plated salad for appetizer
Cholent
Tray of cold cutts
Tray of grilled vegetables
For dessert fruit and cake

No need to slave in the kitchen for hours

amother

Periwinkle

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 12:19 pm

As newlyweds we would eat at my friends house. She stopped me one day and asked why I dont come anymore. I made up I would come to her shabbos afternoon with my two kids. Since it's a far walk I would stay till shabbos over. I Didnt tell her but my kids dont like eating meals by other people they like our food better . Well guess what, ws weren't served anything. She had many guest in the morning and ran out of challah, she was low on dips she had a very limited selection of fruit, she told me to wash on matzah and told me she will bring to the table what she has. Which was what she had

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 12:39 pm

amother [ White ] wrote:

Really? Did a rabbi tell you

Is this so surprising? There's a world of difference between socializing and providing someone with a meal or a bed that's needed.

lamplighter

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 1:17 pm

avrahamama wrote:

My rav told me. That inviting my buddies for a meal is not hachnasat orchim. But inviting a meshulach is. Or hosting a family that is in town for medical care is.

My Rav too.
Hosting friends is ahavas yisroel. Hosting people who are in need of a meal is hachnosas orchim.

Either way OP, you can invite people for the afternoon but yes ettiquite still dictates offering something to eat.
There isn't a rule that you have to invite for the meal. That's your choice its just a good way/time to get to sit and spend time with people.