How to make a girl feel good about getting her period

amother

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 5:47 pm

The doctor told us today that we can expect my daughter’s period to come early. She was devastated and bawling to me that she’s going to be one of the weird kids.. anyway I was eventually able to calm her down, and I told her I know it sounds scary, but it’s very special and means you’re not a little girl anymore, and that when she does get it, she and I will make a private celebration. So I’m wondering if anyone has any ideas about how to make this time special and help her feel good about it. Thanks!

amother

Magenta

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 6:00 pm

Take her out for her favorite dinner! Buy her variety of pads, liners to see what's most comfortable. Same with deodorant. Let her open that bag privately. Put a bag of hershey kisses, and a letter of how proud you are of her in that same bag. Put The American girl book 1 of puberty in bag. Make happy memories so she passes happy memories to her own daughters one day!

amother

Coral

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 6:05 pm

So I got my first period at 11. And my parents took me out for dinner and my mom made some comment about how it was for becoming a woman. Anyway I was MORTIFIED. I definitely didnt want this discussed w my dad in the background or out loud at all. I would have been most comfortable just being shown where the pads are (I was already wearing deodorant). Some girls would rather not make a big deal of it. And thats ok too.

amother

Taupe

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 6:22 pm

I got my period a year before this story but I remember when I was in 6th grade I was cramping away and my classmates could clearly see I was in a lot of pain. My friend passed me a note about an article she had read that discussed the women during the holocaust. They would celebrate their "good news" (she wrote it in quotes like that in my note Smile

) because it meant that they would be able to continue klal yisroel when it would be over.

I was still in a lot of pain sitting in class that day but it meant a lot that she saw that and shared this. It was also so nice to hear something so meaningful about the worst part about being a female.

little neshamala

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 9:07 pm

OP I dont know if this is what your daughter is feeling but just in case...I HATED when my mother/teachers would equate getting my period with becoming a young woman/not being a little girl anymore. It scared me. I didnt want to be a woman yet! I still wanted to be a carefree little girl! I remember having the most awful weight on my chest, crying and crying....I had only just turned 12 and still wanted to be a kid.
Thank goodness one of my friends set me straight "eh, its no big deal, youre the exact same person as you always were just now you get some blood come out every month. Big whoop. Nothing else is changing"
Some girls like the whole "youre not a little girl anymore" talk, but others, like myself, found it unbelievably overwhelming.

amother

Brunette

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 9:27 pm

amother [ Crimson ] wrote:

Feel her pain. I got my period in 4th grade. I was 10.
Was so so hard!!
Whatever my mom tried telling me didn’t help...
Hope your daughter has it easier.
Good luck!!

Oy I'm nervous my 10 yr old is in a real bra and 5'2"....

amother

Gold

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:50 pm

You can reassure her that it's perfectly normal and common nowadays for girls to get their periods early, that it is a sign that her body is working correctly, and that she does not have to grow up instantly. But you can't make her feel happy about it because periods suck.

amother

Ecru

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 8:37 pm

I got my first period when I was 12, sleeping over at my grandparents house. I knew about it, but didnt have pads, so put some tissues in and went to tell my grandmother. Gd knows where she found pads from because she definitely wasn't using them anymore, but she got some and discreetly brought them to me in the bathroom and just gave me the warmest hug, full of pride, and told me how happy she was for me. I cant remember if she bought me something after, but I do remember how caring and supportive she was of it all, and definitely put a positive spin on it.

RuralIma

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 8:46 pm

I don't really have any advice, I got mine on my 10th birthday and there really wasn't anything that could have made it special but I think it's absolutely amazing and wonderful that you want to do this for your daughter. I don't know if I would emphasize so much about her not being a little girl anymore, I'm pretty sure I was still playing with dolls when I got mine but definitely reassure her that it doesn't make her "weird." I'm sure there are other kids her age and probably in her school who have theirs without announcing it.

If she's feeling up to it maybe take her out just the two of you.

amother

Lemon

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 8:56 pm

I'm never going to forget the time I got my period. My mom had called me aside a little while before and told me that what to expect so I shouldn't be scared. When I did get it I went over and told her and she hugged me so tight and said "BH BH!!! This is the best news! I am so happy! You are so special! Your a big girl now (I was 11)!" She made me feel so good. I then went over to my older sister and shared my 'secret ' with her. Was so excited to discuss big girl stuff ! Although I do remember drinking a ton of water that day since I was afraid that I'm losing blood LOL

amother

Mustard

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 9:13 pm

amother [ Coral ] wrote:

I would have been extremely uncomfortable with a celebration too. As it was my mom made too much of a big deal about it. I'm a quiet non fanfare girl. It's as if she didn't know me at all. With my boys each one got the exact type of upsherin party that I knew they would like, even though the parties were very different from each other. Each kid felt special on their day, and comfortable with the amount of action too.

singleagain

Fri, Jun 19 2020, 5:02 pm

OP, why not just ask your daughter what she would like? You already told her you would celebrate. Ask her how she wants to do that? Ice cream just the two of you? Dinner? Jewelry? Some other game or toy or whatever. Let her pick.

FranticFrummie

Sat, Jun 20 2020, 2:54 pm

singleagain wrote:

Best advice so far! Some girls want a bit of a fuss made over them, and some would rather pretend that nothing is happening (with one small exception.)

My DD was rather low key. She already had a basket of supplies under the bathroom sink, knew how to use everything, and could choose what products were the most comfortable for her.

When she woke me up early one morning and told me she started, I gave her a hug and said "Mazel tov, this means your body is healthy and working right!" I asked her if she wanted anything, and she said "candy and potato chips" so I went across the street and bought her a bag of "period nosh". Later that evening we went out for sushi.

She generally eats really healthy all month long, but the first two days of her period, she gets unlimited access to chocolate and salty snacks.

I left it up to her when/if she wanted to tell her dad, and I let her handle it on her own in her own words.

DVOM

Sat, Jun 20 2020, 9:55 pm

I got my period when I was 11, 6th grade. I remember my mom hugging me and telling me how proud she was and how happy for me. We went out for dinner that night, just the two of us. It was a very positive experience.

amother

Periwinkle

Sat, Jun 20 2020, 10:14 pm

amother [ Coral ] wrote:

This!!! What not to do. I was also mortified when I turned 11 and got my period... I told my mom, who handed me the phone and told me to call my father and to tell him that I was "a woman now." Ugh ugh ugh I hated it so, so much!