My inlaws don't have life insurance

amother

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:06 pm

My in-laws are in their 60s and they dont have life insurance. They still have 6 kids at home and my husband is the oldest. When we got our life insurance they told us we didnt need it so when I asked them who would pay for everything if something God forbid happens, they laughed and said- oh you will.
They have areivim but as we tried explaining to them- that is not life insurance!
I am really nervous that one day im going to be paying off their debts and their funeral/burial expenses because of this.
Am I over reacting? Is there anything we can do?

amother

Peach

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:11 pm

If you're willing to take on the cost of the premiums, you could offer to get them life insurance. Otherwise, there's not much you can do if they don't want it.

I don't see why you'd be on the hook for their debts after they pass.

singleagain

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:13 pm

Can you take out a policy for them? I mean.. if you can take out for children.. you might be able to take for parents. Especially if you have an interest / are caretakers.

Call your insurance person.

amother

Honeydew

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:14 pm

Areivim is not insurance. I know someone who died from covid and the family is trying to collect. they now need to prove that he had no preexisting conditions years ago when he first signed on for it before they will issue funds.

amother

Honeydew

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:26 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

Areivim gives nicely if your signed up with them. Sometimes if there are kids home you need more. But they are doing what they can afford I say butt out

Be nice.
All I said it is not really insurance, and there is no guarantee that they will pay.

amother

Emerald

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:32 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

Be nice.
All I said it is not really insurance, and there is no guarantee that they will pay.

They have paid all cases I know about they give 100,000 per person at home and the spouse.

amother

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:32 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

Be nice.
All I said it is not really insurance, and there is no guarantee that they will pay.

I dont think she was trying to be mean. She was just saying she feels they are doing what they can and OP shouldnt worry about it

amother

Red

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:33 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

That's their policy. As covid is known to have taken lives of many with pre-existing conditions, perhaps they want to make sure he was well before.
My uncle passed away before Chanukah I think. If I remember correctly, my aunt married off her daughter with the money from areivim. It's maybe not the best insurance out there, but it's not nothing either.

And OP, if you have the means, maybe pay insurance for them. Otherwise I don't think there's much you can do. Worrying won't get you anywhere, only anxiety. Let it flow

amother

Emerald

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:34 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I dont think she was trying to be mean. She was just saying she feels they are doing what they can and OP shouldnt worry about it

Thank you I wasn’t trying to be mean at all

Amarante

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:37 pm

Wouldn't premiums for a 60 year old be prohibitively expensive?

OP would not be responsible for the debts of her parents legally although obviously there is going to be pressure to provide support to the family if the no longer had income to support the family.

amother

Denim

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:58 pm

OP, most people who get life insurance have it expire by the time they reach retirement age, or around 65.

Is it possible your fil has life insurance through his employer? That's a common benefit, although it probably wouldn't exceed the amount of his annual salary. Perhaps they have some retirement accounts, 401ks? Do they own their home?

amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:28 pm

When coronavirus started, I asked DH to double check that his father had a life insurance policy (he's more at risk). He casually mentioned it the next day and my FIL said, no, I let it lapse to support your sister who got married recently. I couldn't do both.

I was horrified at the situation but he won't admit that he can't afford the support to her. 4 kids still at home. I told my husband, get a new policy and we'll pay it. What will be if he dies? (my MIL doesn't work) we're going to have to support them and marry them off. I'd rather work a bit more, pay a policy now and sleep at night then take that risk.

My husband agreed. He called the bais horah in lakewood and they said he can use masor money for it. (not giving a blanket psak, ask your LOR) my FIL was really mad at first but we refused to back down and I think he was secretly relived that the family will be taken care of if anything happens cv"s.

It's a 10 year policy. By then, 3 of the kids to be married.

I totally get where you are coming from. Is it that they can't afford it or they'd rather just take their chances?

amother

Jetblack

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:49 pm

DH and I don’t plan on having life insurance once we get older iy”H and kids are out of the home. We have 20 yr plan.
Do they own a home. Have any savings or funds. That can go toward funerals.

amother

Natural

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 12:36 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It's got to be uncomfortable for them to have their daughter-in-law lecture them about being financially responsible. They're probably stretched to the max and embarrassed about the situation.

Yes, they should have insurance. It's the right thing. But unless you are willing to pay the premiums, there's not much you can do.

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 1:13 am

1) what is Areivim?

2) We have a 30 year term policy, by the time we are 60, it will be expired. Granted, my kids will all be out of the house by then and hopefully independent, but my home, which I own and my savings B"H will more than pay for funeral/kevurah expenses. Am I missing something?

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 5:18 am

Not that everyone owns their homes, but is it only in Israel, where, to buy a home, one needs to have life insurance?

OP, unfortunately, this is not something that you can do anything about. Unless you want to pay for them, this is their issue. They've made their beds and now they have to sleep in them Sad

And what is areivim?

amother

Copper

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 8:14 am

Areivim is a pre-arranged tzedakah collection. They have a pool of 18,000+ members, and if someone passes away with unmarried children, they take an anonymous collection of $7 per widow or unmarried orphan. That gives $100,000 for each of them. It's tzedakah, not life insurance, but not as embarrassing as a Chesed Fund or Charidy collection.

They don't collect more than $28 per month, often nothing, and if they need more than $28 they'll just collect the next month also.

I have heard that they are sometimes strict about pre-existing conditions and sometimes enforce a board to manage the money, which I imagine is frustrating.

According to their terms they had the right to not pay out at all for COVID (there were unfortunately a number of deaths in their pool), but they did a survey and asked Rabbonim, and the conclusion was to collect twice a month to cover everyone (although you could opt out of the second collection).

So we are paying $56 per month right now, and hopefully all of the families will be given funds.