21 month old biting other kids

amother

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:09 pm

My 21-month-old goes around biting other babies It has been going on for over a year. At first I thought it's a teething issue, however by now she has most of her teeth and she still biting. Whenever she gets upset at that child, she bites. If she wants the bike that child is on, she'll bit. What I did till now is simply pulling her away. However now that I'm going upstate it's going to be extremely hard for me to keep 100 eyes on her to make sure she doesn't hurt other kids. My family keeps commenting that mothers are going to be extremely upset and mad at me. What can I do? She's still a baby it's not much I can do. I'm doing the best I can.

Someone told me: bite her back! What I should bit my baby?
Others: put tape on her mouth! Surprised

I hope there aren't any mothers out there thay are actually doing this to their own kids! I was horrified when people suggested that to me. However I do want to hear some normal proven techniques that work.

amother

Wheat

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:19 pm

I had a kid in my babysitting group around that age that would bite. Whenever he got upset he bit the other kids. Whenever I saw Him bite or if he was about to bite (hopefully I would catch him before the bite happened) I would take him and put him in his crib and say no biting. I usually also Gave him something to bite on. It took a few weeks but it worked. This is what the mother wanted recommended and what she did at home.

amother

Denim

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:20 pm

Do you try telling her NO BITING? I wouldn’t excuse the behaviors by simply saying ‘what can I do? She’s a baby’ She is definitely old enough to be told NO and I believe old enough to understand as well.

amother

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:25 pm

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

I don't ever tell my kids no. When you tell your kids no you are reinforcing the action. Just like there is a paper on the wall that says wet paint do not touch you will go ahead and touch the wall. Or if I tell you to close your eyes you can think of anything but a pink elephant, what are you thinking of? Oh yes a pink elephant. It's human nature

I did see with one of my kids that she kept on biting, I kept pulling her away, after 2 weeks it actually worked. She doesn't bit that child anymore. However in a bungalow county when there are so many kids I can't have 100 eyes on her and keep on running after her.

amother

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:27 pm

amother [ Wheat ] wrote:

That means constantly going into the bungalow with her if it keeps on happening. I usually catch her before the biting actually happens since I'm so on top of her, however I can't guarantee that in a bungalow colony.

amother

Denim

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:31 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I don't ever tell my kids no. When you tell your kids no you are reinforcing the action. Just like there is a paper on the wall that says wet paint do not touch you will go ahead and touch the wall.

I did see with one of my kids that she kept on biting, I kept pulling her away, after 2 weeks it actually worked. However in a bungalow county when there are so many kids I can't have 100 eyes on her and keep on running after her.

That’s a ridiculous philosophy. That’s not what no means at all and I truly pity children whose parents never say no to them. Children rely on parents to teach them what is right and what is wrong, acceptable and unacceptable behavior. You’re not doing her any favors by letting her think her behavior is ok. Pulling her away? She probably thinks you’re playing with her.

Oy is all I have to say.

amother

Cyan

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:32 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I don't ever tell my kids no. When you tell your kids no you are reinforcing the action. Just like there is a paper on the wall that says wet paint do not touch you will go ahead and touch the wall.

I did see with one of my kids that she kept on biting, I kept pulling her away, after 2 weeks it actually worked. She doesn't bit that child anymore. However in a bungalow county when there are so many kids I can't have 100 eyes on her and keep on running after her.

So change the words around and say “we don’t bite” “if you bite I will have to put you in the crib” keep repeating and yes reinforce it.

If you don’t teach her how should she learn?

Im not saying it’ll work, but at least your trying.

amother

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:36 pm

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

If you keep on pulling the child's away from a bad action the child is smart enough to chap after a few times that the action is wrong. Thank God this is not my first child and bh I have a successfully parented my kids with this method. They were not easy kids at first but with a lot of patience they grew up to be mature kids that truly listen to me.

However she is my first biter, that I will be going to the colony with.

amother

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:40 pm

amother [ Cyan ] wrote:

I can tell her not while the action is actually happening, but in calm time that if you bite we will have to go into the bungalow. And the next time it happens simply to pick her up and take her to the bungalow. Im just wondering how much a 21-month-old would understand.

amother

Jetblack

Wed, Jun 17 2020, 11:58 pm

You're going to have to be ready to make some kind of time and energy commitment to stopping the biting. Just like toilet training needs to be your focus for the time you're working on it, changing any behavior of habit will need you to be on top of it.

My oldest had a biting issue for a bit, we would take him away, hand him a large teething toy and say "We never bite Kinderlach, we bite the biting toy" and rinse and repeat like 20000 times for that week or so. The teething toy was always left out in an accessible and visible place so he could go get it if he wanted Eventually he learned.

Whatever method you choose will require parental involvement so just be prepared for the first week or so in the bungalow to arrange that you can deal with her biting as a priority.

amother

Natural

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 12:02 am

You need to tell her very sternly that we don't bite and take her inside. Do this every time she bites. If mothers at the bungalow colony will see you're lax about it and you don't take it seriously enough, they'll all stay away from you.
Kids that never hear no and the parents wait for a calm time to reprimand them, will never learn right from wrong and will end up doing as they please and walk over the parents. Kids need authority, they need to know you're in charge.

amother

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 12:06 am

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

You need to tell her very sternly that we don't bite and take her inside. Do this every time she bites. If mothers at the bungalow colony will see you're lax about it and you don't take it seriously enough, they'll all stay away from you.
Kids that never hear no and the parents wait for a calm time to reprimand them, will never learn right from walk and will end up doing as they please and walking over the parents. Kids need authority, they need to know you're in charge.

Read my response to that up thread.

amother

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 12:07 am

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

https://www.janetlansbury.com/2012/09/biting-hitting-kicking-and-other-challenging-toddler-behavior/

https://www.janetlansbury.com/.....ting/

https://www.janetlansbury.com/.....ling/

Interesting, thanks for posting

amother

Natural

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 12:09 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Read my response to that up thread.

I read it and I still stand by what I said.
I see it in my neighborhood, the parents that would never raise their voice, say no, or talk sternly are the one's with the most difficult children that are bullies that hurt other kids. The neighbors run away from these kids. They know that can bully and hurt other kids because they get away with it.

amother

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 12:10 am

amother [ Jetblack ] wrote:

I figured I'd probably be busy with it the first few weeks. It's interesting that throughout the winter she hardly bit anyone except for one child that you picked on. Which I did my method and it actually worked. However now that I'm going out more she's targeting kids her age or younger. I wonder if it's an issue that she can't express yourself yet that's irritating her and causing the biting.

amother

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 12:15 am

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

You need to tell her very sternly that we don't bite and take her inside. Do this every time she bites. If mothers at the bungalow colony will see you're lax about it and you don't take it seriously enough, they'll all stay away from you.
Kids that never hear no and the parents wait for a calm time to reprimand them, will never learn right from walk and will end up doing as they please and walking over the parents. Kids need authority, they need to know you're in charge.

Honestly I don't care what mothers of the colony are going to think I just want to do what's best for my child and the right approach. Bh I have a very firm yet loving relationship with my kids so no my kids don't step on me or walk all over me. I can never understand the mother that step on their own kids for the sake of what people will think.

amother

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 12:21 am

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

You can be a firm parent without raising your voice.
you can say no to a child without having to repeat because your child understands that you will not change your mind. Yet your no comes from a loving place.
The kids that are bullys are the kids that need to defending themselves because their parents or someone or something is hurting/bulling them. A kid that knows his parents are on their side do not need to bully other kids. They have the world's confidence.

amother

Jetblack

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 12:22 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yes it's very age appropriate. It's a form of expressing frustration or some other negative feeling when they don't have words to express it. Which is why I encouraged my son to bite something else, the emotion needed to come out it just couldn't be on other kids.

amother

Natural

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 12:36 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Saying no to your child doesn't mean that you're stepping over the child. It means that you're the parent and they need to listen to you.