21 month old biting other kids

Chayalle

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 12:40 pm

I agree with natural. I think OP is looking for a method, or parenting skill, that will help her actually teach her child not to bite, and also protect other kids from getting hurt. She wants this method or skill to also be such that it's beneficial to her child's emotional and social development.

I respect her as a parent, even if I may have a different approach on some details.

(I'm shocked that some suggest you bite your kid back. I really hope there aren't such parents out there!)

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 1:27 pm

All three of my kids went through a biting phase, and grew out of it. I don't think there is some trick that can ensure your child will stop biting in one or two weeks. There have been some suggestions in this thread. They might work in a week, but they will probably take longer, and they might take months.

In the meantime, you will have to supervise your child more closely for as long as it takes. If the child regularly bites in group settings, that child can't be released unsupervised or very loosely supervised into a playroom or yard of children, even if the environment is otherwise a safe childproof one. It's not about what the mothers think. It's about what's fair to the other children too.

I can sympathize, as I've been through it with three biters. Two of my kids even continued to occasionally bite siblings even well after they stopped biting outside the home.

Chayalle

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 1:37 pm

It's interesting - I actually checked out this thread because I have a child who went thru a biting phase. I got sidetracked by another topic on this thread and never got to my original intention.

My child was a little older (in 2 year old playgroup) when she started biting other children. One mother called for her immediate expulsion, and I'm pretty sure it cost DD the spot she had in 3-year-old playgroup (I already had her registered, and got a call saying that she's awfully sorry but miscalculated - yeah right - and unfortunately had no room for my DD. The Morah had a child the same age, and others were registered who probably didn't want their child with mine. B"H I found another, amazing Morah to send her to, and she had a wonderful year there, with no biting BTW).

The funny thing is, the whole biting saga took less than a month in my case. I'm very into Mrs. Leah Trenk's parenting method, and I called her for help. I paid for the Morah to have a session with her (the fee was rather nominal) and she instructed her about watching DD, catching her before she bites, and holding her on her lap when this happened (a biting attempt). My DD stopped biting very quickly (age may have something to do with that - she got the message quickly).

I think OP has gotten great suggestions in this thread - one doesn't need to go into the bungalow to give child the message that they cannot hurt others, and if they want to be free to play, they have to control the urge to bite.

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 1:49 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I think OP has gotten great suggestions in this thread - one doesn't need to go into the bungalow to give child the message that they cannot hurt others, and if they want to be free to play, they have to control the urge to bite.

I'm not familiar with the bungalow colony setup. What do you mean by "go into the bungalow"? Is it like a playgroup in a designated room or house?

For the record, I don't think the parent has to be the one providing the closer supervision. It can be a bungalow morah, if there is such a thing. But someone has to be paying closer attention to a child who is in the biting phase. As I mentioned, I had three kids like this, and they were all in daycare. It was the daycare teachers who did the higher level of monitoring during weekdays, not me.

octopus

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 1:54 pm

I have recently dealt with a biter. So I'll give my two cents. My method isn't from parenting experts, just my own experience. Whenever dc would bite (all of this was at home no school experience), I would say "no bite" and immediately remove dc from situation and place in pack-n-play for a minute. The biting stopped really quickly. Saw a difference in one day. There were a few more "tests" here and there but spending the minute in the pack n play really helped. And my child knew exactly why was placed there...because I said "no bite." Saying no without a removal doesn't do much. At least for my child.

amother

Cobalt

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 2:21 pm

Some children's brains can only hear the end of the sentence, so when they hear 'no biting' they're only actually hearing the 'biting'. It should help to reinforce the positive behavior and not the negative-for instance the 'we only bite food' .
Try and see if you can spot a trigger-is there a specific person or occurrence that triggers the biting, and then you can try and avoid it.
Also if it's for attention, try and give lots of positive attention and praise them for specific good they are doing.