Single friend turning 40

happy chick

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 5:47 pm

I'm feeling so sad for her. She's turning 40 soon. We are pretty close, but I don't want anything too personal. Any gift ideas?

jflower

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 6:11 pm

How about spending time with her? Take her out to lunch or dinner. Go shopping with her or to a park. I imagine that she would enjoy your company.

If you give her a gift certificate, that's a lovely gift but it's one she will spend by herself.

liveandlove.ima

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 6:16 pm

Here are some ideas I thought of:

jewelry
bath set
room diffuser
perfume

Last edited by liveandlove.ima on Thu, Jun 18 2020, 6:42 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Coral

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 6:18 pm

jflower wrote:

This is very thoughtful.

I'm also racking my brains for a single sister in a similar age bracket, but I live too far away to be spending time with her.

I think an Amazon gift card sounds a bit too generic for a real personal friend.
For my sister, if it weren't for the circumstances I'd buy her a massage.

singleagain

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 6:20 pm

Please don't get us something because we're single. Get us something because we like it. Or we need it. Or we want it. Our singleness should have nothing to do with the gifts you get us.

liveandlove.ima

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 6:40 pm

singleagain wrote:

Please don't get us something because we're single. Get us something because we like it. Or we need it. Or we want it. Our singleness should have nothing to do with the gifts you get us.

I actually mentioned items I got for my (non single) friend, its not marriage based things. I believe op stressed on single to better understand what category of ideas she'd like and not something like a house cleaner device etc.

singleagain

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 7:08 pm

mocha wrote:

Because no single person owns a house or an apartment. And no single person has a new to clean up /sarcasm

I'm sorry. But gifts are things ppl need. Want. Like. Collect.

amother

Navy

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 7:35 pm

My 40th passed this year with zero celebration whatsoever and I cried many hours over it. I had hoped to do something and hinted at it, too. But there was almost zero acknowledgment from my friends and very little from my husband and kids.

I would have loved going out to dinner with a friend. Going to hear music play somewhere. Doing an activity (hiking , biking etc). Just going on a shopping date or out to ice cream.

Simple things. Friendship is more special when you're older because it's harder to come by.

CatLady

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 7:42 pm

I'd get her a gift certificate to her fave bookstore and take her out for dessert somewhere. Paint Nite is a great girls' night out activity for when things open up. Basically, anything that isn't a three-month membership on JDate.

Cookin4days

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 8:02 pm

Would you gather some other gals and do a socially distant brunch or bbq, depending on how strict you guys are either everyone can bring one thing they cooked or it’s diy bring your own meal. That way she’s not alone or feeling alone on this special day

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 8:54 pm

singleagain wrote:

Please don't get us something because we're single. Get us something because we like it. Or we need it. Or we want it. Our singleness should have nothing to do with the gifts you get us.

Well, yes and no. For a lot of married women their husband has a lot to do with making their 40th birthday special.

I was an older single too. Including my 30th birthday.

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 8:58 pm

singleagain wrote:

Please don't get us something because we're single. Get us something because we like it. Or we need it. Or we want it. Our singleness should have nothing to do with the gifts you get us.

I think it’s just a description, no need to take offense (I was single and divorced for a while, I wanted and appreciated different things than my friends sometimes)

singleagain

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 9:19 pm

amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:

Well, yes and no. For a lot of married women their husband has a lot to do with making their 40th birthday special.

I was an older single too. Including my 30th birthday.

I just turned 34, pesach time, and it sucked. It would have sucked a lot more if ppl did things bc I was single and not bc they wanted to celebrate with me. As it turns out, covid and nothing happened. You can do something for your friends regardless if they are married.

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

I think it’s just a description, no need to take offense (I was single and divorced for a while, I wanted and appreciated different things than my friends sometimes)

No friends are totally in sync all the time. But it is insulting to identify someone by their marital status. People want different things, bc they are different people. Not bc they are married v single

happy chick

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 9:22 pm

singleagain wrote:

Please don't get us something because we're single. Get us something because we like it. Or we need it. Or we want it. Our singleness should have nothing to do with the gifts you get us.

Absolutely not! Im not looking for a pity gift. It's a big birthday and I'm feeling bad for her that she doesn't have a spouse to spend it with. She lives with her family, so not a household items (such as serving utensils or pretty towels) unless it's personal for her room.

amother

Vermilion

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 9:26 pm

happy chick wrote:

I agree the best gift is to take her out and treat her to a special dinner or get tickets for the two of you to see a performance or something similar etc
I wouldn't invite other friends or make a big bash unless you know she will be comfortable with it. Unless these are very close friends of hers still, she will probably feel embarrassed and uncomfortable.

singleagain

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 9:35 pm

happy chick wrote:

Then what does your friends like? What are her hobbies? What does she like to do? Thanks the line of thinking.

My best friend for me a wall decal of the beach. It thrilled me, bc she knows how much I enjoy the beach and this lock down means it's really not a good idea to go.

Think about your friend what she likes and/or what you like to do together. And get something to do with that.

amother

Navy

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 10:55 pm

Wanted to add that little things can always make a big impact if you put some thought into it. A friend once made me my own tray of gluten free hamantashen on Purim because she knew it's a hard holiday for me in terms of food. I'm serious when I tell you, it was the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever given me. This was many years ago and I still think of this small gift and it warms my heart.