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My mother and I have the same name (help)



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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Jun 19 2020, 2:29 pm
Does anyone else have this problem or heard of something like this happening before?

My mother has an English name and a Hebrew name. Her Hebrew name was the name of her grandmother. My mother isn’t religious and didn’t know not to give me the same name as her, and I was named after my great grandmother. My Hebrew and English name are the same.

I feel so self conscious about this—My name is same name bas same name! Banging head
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Fri, Jun 19 2020, 2:35 pm
Sephardim have this.
Interesting thing happened with my name -
My mothers didnt know her mothers Hebrew name (her mom is a BT and called a completely unrelated name) and she named me on a shabbos and told her mom my name after shabbos. Her mom didnt want to make her feel bad and kept quiet. Many years later when she wasnt well my mother asked her for her hebrew name and my mom was shocked to find out that for so many years she didnt say a word..
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Fri, Jun 19 2020, 2:37 pm
I do know someone who was in a similar situation, but in her case only their middle names were the same. She changed her hebrew middle name.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Fri, Jun 19 2020, 2:40 pm
It’s not like you have to tell people your Hebrew name and your mothers name every day...

I was asked to daven for people with unusual names (or unusual mothers name) and was usually given a quick explanation and life went on..

But I know what you mean.. we just all want to fit in and not stand out for something unusual.

It’s not like you did anything wrong...
You’ll still be liked and appreciated for who you are.
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eileengray




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 19 2020, 2:41 pm
If your mom goes by her English name, can you do "Hebrew name" bas "English name"?
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Fri, Jun 19 2020, 2:55 pm
I would not worry about it.

1) how often are you called XYZ bat XYX, just a Refuah for cholim.
2) there are Sephardic communities that do this intentionally.
3)unfortunately people do die in childbirth and the child may have such a name.
4) do you think you are the only BT who's mom didn't know this in snot traditionally done? There are many fancy non-Jews who do this and I am sure she is not the first or last to think it is a great traditional idea.

Nobody would ever dare ask and you don't own anyone an explanation.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Fri, Jun 19 2020, 3:01 pm
amother [ Ruby ] wrote:
Sephardim have this. .


Is this true? The sephardim I know are named for living grandparents but I never met anyone with same name as mother or father.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Fri, Jun 19 2020, 4:04 pm
People can just assume you are sefardi by birth. No problems there. They might assume she is your grandmother & were raised by her.

And if cv"s you ever need tehillim, will just assume she died in childbirth or a typo or some interesting other story. I assure you your friends and family have no problems with it.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Fri, Jun 19 2020, 4:24 pm
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
Is this true? The sephardim I know are named for living grandparents but I never met anyone with same name as mother or father.


Sefardim do name after the living but they usually name in honor of a living grandparent, I don’t think they name for a parent.
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amother
Pink


 

Post Fri, Jun 19 2020, 4:25 pm
talk to your rov and add a name or something
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Fri, Jun 19 2020, 5:02 pm
I knew two brothers who's parents weren't religious. They gave them the same Hebrew name, after two different people and different English names. When one became frum he asked a Rav and was told it's fine.
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Fri, Jun 19 2020, 7:09 pm
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
Is this true? The sephardim I know are named for living grandparents but I never met anyone with same name as mother or father.

I’m sephardic married (Syrian and Moroccan) married to Tunisian and I never heard of this....

Name after living- yes to Syrians, no to Moroccans, but to give the same name just no.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jun 20 2020, 2:06 pm
Are your middle names the same? If not, just make sure to use them as well.

Malka Esther bas Malka Liba (for example). It might not look traditional, but it works.

Honestly, if someone needed a refuah sheleimah, I'd be much more worried about the person's health. The last thing on my mind would be what was going on with the names.
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Sat, Jun 20 2020, 4:59 pm
Ask rav haim Kaniewsky (or an other gadol)if you should have a "שינוי השם"
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Sat, Jun 20 2020, 10:12 pm
No Sephardim have such a custom. People will assume your mother, may she live and be well, passed away when you were born.
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amother
Lavender


 

Post Sat, Jun 20 2020, 11:37 pm
My non religious grandparents did this to my father. It wasn't a problem when my father became Frum but he did do a name change many years later because he felt uncomfortable with it.
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amother
Gray


 

Post Sat, Jun 20 2020, 11:39 pm
Name after living- yes to Syrians, no to Moroccans, but to give the same name just no.[/quote]


I know moroccans who name after living grandparents
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amother
Peach


 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 1:35 am
Many BT have "bas mom's English name", so you're already ahead with it being a Hebrew name Smile
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 2:20 am
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
Many BT have "bas mom's English name", so you're already ahead with it being a Hebrew name Smile


No .it very important to say the Jewish name!
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 2:23 am
I would have change my name.
Here,Rav Kaniewsky did שינוי שם to a lot of people!
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