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Forum
-> Fashion and Beauty
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Jun 21 2020, 3:29 am
I have for a while wanted to get an anklet. A simple gold one. But I don't see them as being that common in my community. I do see some but not that many. A friend I mentioned it to thinks that maybe it would get me a "label".
If you would see someone wearing one would you think bad of them?
I live in lakewood, but not the more yeshivish neighborhood but also not in the neighborhoods that are to the other extreme.
Thank you
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amother
Turquoise
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 3:32 am
I wouldn’t think much of it. Way better than the BB piercing discussed the other day.
You would certainly be labeled the type who wears an anklet but if you like it and are the type then that label shouldn’t bother you.
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amother
Mistyrose
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 3:36 am
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Yes, you'd be labeled as modern. How it'll affect you depends on what circles you associate with, which schools your kids go to, etc.
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FranticFrummie
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 3:44 am
I don't think I have ever looked at a woman's ankles. Why would I?
If men are looking at your ankles, they need to stick their eyes back in their heads.
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shabbatiscoming
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 4:11 am
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In my community its a non issue, so if I saw someone wearing an ankle bracelet, I would literally think "Oh, they like those, ok".
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amother
Silver
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 4:50 am
It truly stinks to admit this, but the more conformist your community, the less likely you are able to do ANYTHING without being labeled.
If you do anything outside of cultural norms, positive or negative, people will wonder why and slap a label on to explain your decision.
If the norm is that women talk in shul, and you quietly sit and daven, you will have acquired a label of "overly frum."
If the norm is that kids wear blues and greens, and you dress your kid in yellow, you will earn the label of "flamboyant."
If the norm is that women have their ears pierced, and you don't, you get labeled as "dowdy."
So in a place with pretty narrow norms, you will get labeled for your anklet, your shaitel, your taste in cars, and the snacks you send with your kids.
In a more open-minded society, there is less need for labels, because you are unlikely to cross cultural norms unless you are extremely unusual.
Not that this need to stop you from doing anything, but it is important to realize that it is an immutable fact. There is no way to cross norms without getting labeled.
(Although, you may be able to change the norms by getting a large enough group to agree that it is not a boundary crossing.)
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LovesHashem
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 4:54 am
| amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote: | | Yes, you'd be labeled as modern. How it'll affect you depends on what circles you associate with, which schools your kids go to, etc. |
True - I really personally like anklets. I would actually wear them not caring to much of the community - it's more of the practically that anklets don't really work with stockings/socks.
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Success10
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 5:08 am
| amother [ Silver ] wrote: | It truly stinks to admit this, but the more conformist your community, the less likely you are able to do ANYTHING without being labeled.
If you do anything outside of cultural norms, positive or negative, people will wonder why and slap a label on to explain your decision.
If the norm is that women talk in shul, and you quietly sit and daven, you will have acquired a label of "overly frum."
If the norm is that kids wear blues and greens, and you dress your kid in yellow, you will earn the label of "flamboyant."
If the norm is that women have their ears pierced, and you don't, you get labeled as "dowdy."
So in a place with pretty narrow norms, you will get labeled for your anklet, your shaitel, your taste in cars, and the snacks you send with your kids.
In a more open-minded society, there is less need for labels, because you are unlikely to cross cultural norms unless you are extremely unusual.
Not that this need to stop you from doing anything, but it is important to realize that it is an immutable fact. There is no way to cross norms without getting labeled.
(Although, you may be able to change the norms by getting a large enough group to agree that it is not a boundary crossing.) |
And if people live in a community that's very open-minded, they'll be labeled for being too closed-minded if that's how they roll.
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amother
Ivory
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 8:04 am
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I wear anklets. Most in my circle do not. I dress very tznius otherwise. My DH has sort of a foot fixation thing and would love me to wear wildly inappropriate shoes (outside the house, not just at home). This is my compromise. He's happy with it. I don't know how often people notice it under my stockings anyway but nobody has ever made a comment.
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behappy2
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 8:09 am
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I only know one very modern person who ever wore it. Old neighbor of Milne as I was growing up. Either it's out of style or I have gone foot blind.
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amother
Denim
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 8:20 am
| amother [ Ivory ] wrote: | | I wear anklets. Most in my circle do not. I dress very tznius otherwise. My DH has sort of a foot fixation thing and would love me to wear wildly inappropriate shoes (outside the house, not just at home). This is my compromise. He's happy with it. I don't know how often people notice it under my stockings anyway but nobody has ever made a comment. |
Do you wear stockings? How doesn't it make runs?
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amother
Aubergine
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 9:10 am
I love ankle bracelets, always have . I wear one all the time. Doesn't tear my stockings. I live in CH and I don't think I'm "labeled" for it.
In general, I'm not the type to care what other people think. I do what I think it's right (or in this case, not wrong).
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amother
Ivory
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 9:14 am
| amother [ Denim ] wrote: | | Do you wear stockings? How doesn't it make runs? |
I just put them on (and remove) very carefully. Once it's on over the anklet there is no movement to create tears.
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amother
Wine
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 9:14 am
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Anklets don’t really go to well with stockings- they’re meant to go on bare legs. (I love the look of anklets)
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amother
Rose
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 9:35 am
| amother [ Silver ] wrote: | It truly stinks to admit this, but the more conformist your community, the less likely you are able to do ANYTHING without being labeled.
If you do anything outside of cultural norms, positive or negative, people will wonder why and slap a label on to explain your decision.
If the norm is that women talk in shul, and you quietly sit and daven, you will have acquired a label of "overly frum."
If the norm is that kids wear blues and greens, and you dress your kid in yellow, you will earn the label of "flamboyant."
If the norm is that women have their ears pierced, and you don't, you get labeled as "dowdy."
So in a place with pretty narrow norms, you will get labeled for your anklet, your shaitel, your taste in cars, and the snacks you send with your kids.
In a more open-minded society, there is less need for labels, because you are unlikely to cross cultural norms unless you are extremely unusual.
Not that this need to stop you from doing anything, but it is important to realize that it is an immutable fact. There is no way to cross norms without getting labeled.
(Although, you may be able to change the norms by getting a large enough group to agree that it is not a boundary crossing.) |
This post is unfortunately so spot on. One query - if an adult woman were to wear yellow but not have her ears pierced, would she be labelled dowdy or flamboyant? 🤔
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QueensMama
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 9:48 am
You will get "labeled." That's the honest truth. Now decide if it's worth it.
I can't imagine it is.
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amother
Vermilion
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 9:57 am
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Yes if you live in Lakewood than definitely it would stand out. I say if it’s something you need to ask if it’s normal in your community, then stay away. But that’s me, I never like to draw attention especially attention that may be perceived as negative. So I guess it’s hard for me to understand this.
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amother
Tangerine
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 10:19 am
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Modern women in my community wear anklets. They go bare legged. I can't imagine how one can wear stockings over them without it looking weird.
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ShishKabob
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Sun, Jun 21 2020, 11:16 am
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Yes, it will put a label on you. Like the other poster said, you decide if it's worth it. Good Luck
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