Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Relationships -> Guests
What were we supposed to do?



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 5:11 am
We were guests at someone's house 2 of my kids (one was mostly bored the other was wild) were misbehaving.
I kept trying to discipline and play with the kids to distract them.
We really enjoyed spending time with the family but one of my children was being wild.
This does not usually happen and I was kind of at a loss.
I felt horrible and embarrassed.
Back to top

Success10




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 5:21 am
If your kids didn't break their great-grandmother's vase, kill their pet parakeet or get a visit from the cops I would put it out of your head. It happens.
Back to top

hodeez




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 5:51 am
You should have sat him by you until he calmed down.
Back to top

happy chick




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 6:01 am
Kids will be kids.
It also depends on the other's situation. If they don't have kids (or their kids are angels), they may not appreciate the noise/mess. but if they have a few wilds of their own, they don't get phased.
Back to top

amother
Green


 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 6:08 am
I would send a text today saying
"Thanks again for having us, we had such a wonderful time. I'm sorry again about my child's behavior." Or if you left a mess, apologize for that.
I had a friend that I loved having over but her daughter with behavioral issues would wreck the place. If she would've tried to clean up, or at least helped me enforce our house rules like no food in the bedrooms I would've invited her more often, but I just can't have her over anymore.
Back to top

Ora in town




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 6:12 am
I think you did the right things: you took responsability for the child, sat down with him/her, played with him/her... the way you described it you reacted just like a responsable parent should react... You did well!
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 6:41 am
hodeez wrote:
You should have sat him by you until he calmed down.


by what method would you recommend make the child sit with me?
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 6:47 am
They weren't making messes just kind of running around making noise.
One child wanted attention and was bored which was easier to deal with practically.
The other child was just being wild and I could not come up with ways to settle her.

What do you do in public situations like this? When you are at others houses.

Yes we cleaned up after any messes and apologized for their behavior.
At no point did we ignore what was going on.
Back to top

amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 7:06 am
People let their kids mess up my house on a ongoing basis. Because I've lots of small kids they think I won't mind, but I really do. Sounds like you did everything possible (tidying up afterwards etc), wouldn't expect more than that. I wish my guests were so thoughtful.
Back to top

Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 7:11 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
They weren't making messes just kind of running around making noise.
One child wanted attention and was bored which was easier to deal with practically.
The other child was just being wild and I could not come up with ways to settle her.

What do you do in public situations like this? When you are at others houses.

Yes we cleaned up after any messes and apologized for their behavior.
At no point did we ignore what was going on.


If they were being just wild, you don't need to feel so bad. Kids are kids, not little robots you can control, and sometimes kids get wild. You apologized and took care of them, you did your part.
I never got an apology for guests for their kids wild behavior and mess..... you did good.


Last edited by Blessing1 on Sun, Jun 21 2020, 7:21 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top

amother
Cyan


 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 7:16 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
They weren't making messes just kind of running around making noise.
One child wanted attention and was bored which was easier to deal with practically.
The other child was just being wild and I could not come up with ways to settle her.

What do you do in public situations like this? When you are at others houses.

Yes we cleaned up after any messes and apologized for their behavior.
At no point did we ignore what was going on.


Take them outside.
Back to top

heidi




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 7:47 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
They weren't making messes just kind of running around making noise.
One child wanted attention and was bored which was easier to deal with practically.
The other child was just being wild and I could not come up with ways to settle her.

What do you do in public situations like this? When you are at others houses.

Yes we cleaned up after any messes and apologized for their behavior.
At no point did we ignore what was going on.

It's not clear to me if you were there for a visit or for a shabbat.
A visit obviously wasn't working for your kids. I would have taken them home.
A shabbat I would have taken them outside or at least to another room till they calmed down.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 8:21 am
We were there for shabbat lunch. There was no outside. Usually I would bring them outside for a bit.
It was also difficult because the mom was trying to talk to me and kept engaging in conversation etc while this was all going on (I imagine she invited us over for the social interaction).
Back to top

amother
Green


 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 8:45 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
We were there for shabbat lunch. There was no outside. Usually I would bring them outside for a bit.
It was also difficult because the mom was trying to talk to me and kept engaging in conversation etc while this was all going on (I imagine she invited us over for the social interaction).


Oh I hate when that happens.
If you see I'm needed by my kids don't try to schmooze. I mean try, but you have to pause when needed. If you want my undivided attention then schedule something for at night when the kids are asleep.
Back to top

silverlining3




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 8:54 am
I think you did the best you could've. Kids are kids. Even they do calm down, it doesn't always take long till they act up again. You cleaned their mess, you apologized, you are amazing. If she didn't like it she won't invite you again.
Back to top

amother
Bronze


 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 9:01 am
Yep, been there. You feel bad that you can't talk to your host. She can't just leave the table. When my kids were on this stage, we stopped hosting and going out for Shabbos meals. In the afternoon, I could visit or people could come to me, outside, or in a room where we could sit with the kids and play whole talking.
Back to top

Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 21 2020, 9:03 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
We were there for shabbat lunch. There was no outside. Usually I would bring them outside for a bit.
It was also difficult because the mom was trying to talk to me and kept engaging in conversation etc while this was all going on (I imagine she invited us over for the social interaction).


The host should know that a mother with kids will be busy with the kids and won't ignore them to socialize. Don't eat yourself up over this.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Guests

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Are you supposed to tip uber driver?
by amother
10 Mon, Mar 25 2024, 5:21 am View last post
Am I supposed to tip the guys who put my couch together?
by amother
12 Thu, Mar 07 2024, 7:55 am View last post
Feta Cheese - is it supposed to be smelly? 7 Tue, Feb 06 2024, 12:38 pm View last post
Are bras supposed to be handwashed? Please teach me how!
by amother
29 Thu, Aug 17 2023, 1:47 pm View last post
Am I supposed to feel awkward asking for my paycheck?
by amother
38 Tue, Aug 01 2023, 12:02 pm View last post