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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
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amother
Tan
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 Tue, Jun 23 2020, 7:06 pm
| amother [ Vermilion ] wrote: | | May I ask how much you put down? Cheap in NYC nowadays, even 10 years ago, was still in the 500k range. |
I said in town, not NYC. I live in Lakewood.
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amother
Seafoam
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Tue, Jun 23 2020, 7:34 pm
| rmbg wrote: | | I’m going to guess that you are on Medicaid have food stamps and wic and get vouchers. I don’t mean this in negatively. Just that simply 50k is not enough to live decently without govt programs. I’ve been down that road. |
Medicaid and vouchers yes . Food stamps no. My husband’s salary is counted as parsonage so it doesn’t disqualify us from Medicaid.
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amother
Seagreen
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Tue, Jun 23 2020, 7:36 pm
| amother [ Sienna ] wrote: | | We are on a 1 person salary with no parents help (never had) and live comfortably but within our means. My husband makes around 170k NET and we feel tight. Maybe people around us are wealthy? But seems we can't spend like other people do. We have zero credit card debt and we own our house with a mortgage (3k a month) we rarely go on vacation (really never...) and my kids don't get whatever they want. So I don't understand for those that make less and don't get parents help how is it enough?? |
You just answered your own question. I doubt everyone is making more than you but they sure live like they do....
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amother
Chartreuse
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Tue, Jun 23 2020, 10:00 pm
To the poster posting regarding 30k supporting 4 families
Actually not in our case yet.
Just a rough sample
Tzedaka 6k
Life ins and savings 6k
Tuition 2k
Mortgage 3k
Utilities 1k
Car and expenses 1k
Food, wine, eating out, 3k min.
Cleaning help almost 1k
Monthly yom tov or camp or summer expense divided in 12- 1.5k
Other purchases 2k
Tutor $500
Exercise $500
Insurance plus health 1.5k
Plus other stuff I forgot or that pop up.....
And this is after taxes
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amother
Scarlet
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Tue, Jun 23 2020, 10:11 pm
| amother [ Ruby ] wrote: | You could sue. You should.
We are past the age of this nasty gender discrimination. It makes my blood boil.
And I'm usually a pretty calm conservative. |
Age discrimination is protected for above age 40.
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amother
Sapphire
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Tue, Jun 23 2020, 10:32 pm
| amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote: | To the poster posting regarding 30k supporting 4 families
Actually not in our case yet.
Just a rough sample
Tzedaka 6k
Life ins and savings 6k
Tuition 2k
Mortgage 3k
Utilities 1k
Car and expenses 1k
Food, wine, eating out, 3k min.
Cleaning help almost 1k
Monthly yom tov or camp or summer expense divided in 12- 1.5k
Other purchases 2k
Tutor $500
Exercise $500
Insurance plus health 1.5k
Plus other stuff I forgot or that pop up.....
And this is after taxes |
I personally don’t see this as “tight” 3k on food and wine and eating out a month😳 I live super comfortable and wouldn’t spend nearly that. And if you are tight financially u don’t put 6k away in savings that’s not tight that’s comfortable. Also how do u only spend 2k on tuition do u only have 1 kid in school seriously curious cause I spend way more then that and I have kids only in preschool.
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amother
Lemon
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Wed, Jun 24 2020, 5:37 am
We live in Lakewood, 4 elementary school aged kids. I make around 120k, about 90k from a salary position and the rest from a very part time business. I love my work, which has very flexible hours, almost no commute, and lots of room for creativity. My husband is in school, so he brings in no income, but will hopefully double our income pretty soon after graduating.
I think I make a decent salary and we're living a decent lifestyle. We can't afford everything we want, but if we're careful we can afford some things we want, and that's enough to keep me happy. My kids are dressed almost exclusively in second hand clothing, we have no cleaning help, we eat economically. For many years we lived in a very cheap basement apartment. This allowed us to save enough for a down payment on a small house that I really love. Therapy for myself and one of my kids is very important to me, so that's a big expense, but one I gladly prioritize over other things. I love travel, both alone with my husband and with my kids, so that's something we save for and prioritize. We don't do anything too expensive- no flights, inexpensive air bnbs, camping, free natural attractions like parks- but this really makes me feel like I'm living luxuriously.
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amother
Chartreuse
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Wed, Jun 24 2020, 9:14 am
| amother [ Sapphire ] wrote: | | I personally don’t see this as “tight” 3k on food and wine and eating out a month😳 I live super comfortable and wouldn’t spend nearly that. And if you are tight financially u don’t put 6k away in savings that’s not tight that’s comfortable. Also how do u only spend 2k on tuition do u only have 1 kid in school seriously curious cause I spend way more then that and I have kids only in preschool. |
First of all tight is the wrong word. I definitely feel blessed. It’s just that I don’t feel like I have any wiggle room, and I was from the people who thought that 30k is super comfortable with all the trimmings!
We are chassidish , so tuition is much less.
The food is for a family of 8 plus the occasional guest. I don’t think it’s that much for the family size. Obviously if We would have less money I would be able to bring down the cost but not substantially.
Re savings, that’s the point. I feel that for my families future these investments and savings are important and with 30k of income we should be able to swing it easily, but it’s not always easy.
And that’s why I used the word tight. I guess I shouldn’t have.
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amother
Powderblue
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Wed, Jun 24 2020, 10:44 am
| amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote: | First of all tight is the wrong word. I definitely feel blessed. It’s just that I don’t feel like I have any wiggle room, and I was from the people who thought that 30k is super comfortable with all the trimmings!
We are chassidish , so tuition is much less.
The food is for a family of 8 plus the occasional guest. I don’t think it’s that much for the family size. Obviously if We would have less money I would be able to bring down the cost but not substantially.
Re savings, that’s the point. I feel that for my families future these investments and savings are important and with 30k of income we should be able to swing it easily, but it’s not always easy.
And that’s why I used the word tight. I guess I shouldn’t have. |
I dont know.
"No wiggle room" seems like the wrong description, too 🤔
I mean, can't you just not buy wine or eat out one month? Voila! Wiggle room!
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amother
Chartreuse
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Wed, Jun 24 2020, 10:54 am
| amother [ Powderblue ] wrote: | I dont know.
"No wiggle room" seems like the wrong description, too 🤔
I mean, can't you just not buy wine or eat out one month? Voila! Wiggle room! |
I can. Although that will save me like $200.
But wouldn’t you think that someone earning 30k should be able to comfortably afford wine for shabbos and some bought lunches?
I once spoke like you, I earned 10k a month and felt that with another few thousand a month, I wouldn’t have to think twice about any small purchase and be able to save up for big expenses. Alas it is not the case.
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amother
Chartreuse
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Wed, Jun 24 2020, 10:57 am
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When someone says they are comfortable but can’t afford cleaning help or small vacations, savings, life insurance, or buying regular clothing (not expensive,but not second hand) then they are very lucky to be able to cover their expenses but they are not comfortable.
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amother
Aqua
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Wed, Jun 24 2020, 1:00 pm
| amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote: | | When someone says they are comfortable but can’t afford cleaning help or small vacations, savings, life insurance, or buying regular clothing (not expensive,but not second hand) then they are very lucky to be able to cover their expenses but they are not comfortable. |
Completely agree. I think these conversations are silly because one person’s luxurious lifestyle is tight to the next person.
I always thought that when my husband finished his schooling I would be so comfortable. Fact is, life is definitely easier but there are still many ‘wants’ that we do without. Our combined income is over $200K but after expenses there isn’t much left.
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BH Yom Yom
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Wed, Jun 24 2020, 1:33 pm
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Plus student loans can really add to monthly expenses.
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amother
Mistyrose
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Wed, Jun 24 2020, 2:23 pm
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If you think 'as someone earning x shouldn't I be buying/doing z' then that's you're problem. You underestimated.
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amother
Chartreuse
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Wed, Jun 24 2020, 4:22 pm
| amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote: | | If you think 'as someone earning x shouldn't I be buying/doing z' then that's you're problem. You underestimated. |
That’s exactly my point. People think that when they will earn a certain amount they will be super comfortable but then they reach that amount and they realize they’re not there yet.
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amother
Coral
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Wed, Jun 24 2020, 7:06 pm
the #1 question everyone needs to answer is how much tuition are you paying??
I say this because I live in bklyn and make around 100k combined with 5 kids.
we cant afford a house and cant move because our jobs are here(cant do long commute).....so we must live very simply, cant afford extras like camp, cleaning help, ....etc because schools charge us high tuitions....we do try to put $ aside to save for future but its very little...we could never save for downpayment because everything, food...etc keeps rising and when we first married we made less...
bh we can pay our bills and have zero debt which is a blessing but someone who is making 55k with 8 kids may be paying the same or less tuition than I pay because the more you make the more schools charge you....so this changes everything...
moving out of town wont help because tuition is more expensive and you need car/gas...here, we can walk without those expenses....
anyway, I would say 250k for 5 kids in brooklyn (if dont own home) would be enough to pay the full tuition schools would charge and still be able to pay rent, clothing, some help, etc...but maybe still budget.....
if a family pays a big mortgage also, they would have to make more $ to be comfortable....
my fil made 250k with 10 kids in ny but it wasnt enough to buy extras....the secret was his rich grandpa who subsidized camp, bugalow colony, needed tutors, etc....
im sorry but making some of the salaries ppl mentioned here of "doing fine" just doesnt add up ......because maybe ppl are getting food for yom tov subsidized or paying very little tuition or housing is paid (for low income) etc....there is something else that ppl are not saying...the numbers just dont add up...I go to non jewish stores to get cheaper food but things like chicken, cholov yisrael...I have to get in jewish stores which that alone is so expensive and adds up...
im glad I dont qualify for programs bh so im not jealous of that but since schools charge DIFFERENT tuition FOR EACH PERSON EVEN IN THE SAME SCHOOL, then salary is not the only factor....
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amother
Vermilion
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Wed, Jun 24 2020, 8:05 pm
| amother [ Coral ] wrote: | | because the more you make the more schools charge you....so this changes everything.. |
THIS. If you're making $200 gross and total tuition is $70k and the schools refuse to give you enough of a break, then yeah, you're going to be struggling.
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saw50st8
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Wed, Jun 24 2020, 9:26 pm
| amother [ Coral ] wrote: | ....
im sorry but making some of the salaries ppl mentioned here of "doing fine" just doesnt add up ......because maybe ppl are getting food for yom tov subsidized or paying very little tuition or housing is paid (for low income) etc....there is something else that ppl are not saying...the numbers just dont add up...I go to non jewish stores to get cheaper food but things like chicken, cholov yisrael...I have to get in jewish stores which that alone is so expensive and adds up...
.... |
People who are doing "fine" but not paying full tuition are doing so because they are relying on charity to pay their bills. They aren't "doing fine" in the sense that they can afford it.
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amother
Pewter
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Wed, Jun 24 2020, 11:05 pm
| amother [ Coral ] wrote: | the #1 question everyone needs to answer is how much tuition are you paying??
I say this because I live in bklyn and make around 100k combined with 5 kids.
we cant afford a house and cant move because our jobs are here(cant do long commute).....so we must live very simply, cant afford extras like camp, cleaning help, ....etc because schools charge us high tuitions....we do try to put $ aside to save for future but its very little...we could never save for downpayment because everything, food...etc keeps rising and when we first married we made less...
bh we can pay our bills and have zero debt which is a blessing but someone who is making 55k with 8 kids may be paying the same or less tuition than I pay because the more you make the more schools charge you....so this changes everything...
moving out of town wont help because tuition is more expensive and you need car/gas...here, we can walk without those expenses....
anyway, I would say 250k for 5 kids in brooklyn (if dont own home) would be enough to pay the full tuition schools would charge and still be able to pay rent, clothing, some help, etc...but maybe still budget.....
if a family pays a big mortgage also, they would have to make more $ to be comfortable....
my fil made 250k with 10 kids in ny but it wasnt enough to buy extras....the secret was his rich grandpa who subsidized camp, bugalow colony, needed tutors, etc....
im sorry but making some of the salaries ppl mentioned here of "doing fine" just doesnt add up ......because maybe ppl are getting food for yom tov subsidized or paying very little tuition or housing is paid (for low income) etc....there is something else that ppl are not saying...the numbers just dont add up...I go to non jewish stores to get cheaper food but things like chicken, cholov yisrael...I have to get in jewish stores which that alone is so expensive and adds up...
im glad I dont qualify for programs bh so im not jealous of that but since schools charge DIFFERENT tuition FOR EACH PERSON EVEN IN THE SAME SCHOOL, then salary is not the only factor.... |
Same but with health insurance. My husband is on a high income track iyh. But tuition and health insurance are a great equalizer - no one gives masser on that, or pays tax.
So let’s say we make 200k and spend 10k a year on medical insurance (modest estimate if you want to include dental, all copays etc. bigger kids need braces, glasses). And pay full tuition. The rebbe and teacher making 80k (parsonage and tax benefits also) getting fidelis for 7 kids, and free tuition might end up more comfortable. And no one will raise money cvs for our kids if need be, cuz we were rich! Where did the money go? No one will give us any help when making a wedding, while the Rebbe’s daughter gets a free Shaitel and housewares etc. and no one expects them to be giving more than minimum tzedaka or gifts while my dad always gets attitudes that he’s not giving enough...
I don’t begrudge others but there’s definitely something off with the system. Until you are very very rich (probably 500k or maybe less but with parental help) you essentially can get tighter the more you make. My pooper cousins got married with a lot less stress on their parents than I did, and had more expensive things than me etc.
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amother
OP
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Thu, Jun 25 2020, 9:34 am
| amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote: | To the poster posting regarding 30k supporting 4 families
Actually not in our case yet.
Just a rough sample
Tzedaka 6k
Life ins and savings 6k
Tuition 2k
Mortgage 3k
Utilities 1k
Car and expenses 1k
Food, wine, eating out, 3k min.
Cleaning help almost 1k
Monthly yom tov or camp or summer expense divided in 12- 1.5k
Other purchases 2k
Tutor $500
Exercise $500
Insurance plus health 1.5k
Plus other stuff I forgot or that pop up.....
And this is after taxes |
I may have missed your original post, if there was one, as others seem to think you feel you have no wiggle room. If that is so, I don’t think you understand what wiggle room is. Giving that much tzedaka is wiggle room. Saving 6k a month is wiggle room. 1k in cleaning help is quite nice. $500 a month working out? Come on, you don’t think for a second you aren’t living well.
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