Do I have to tell them I'm pregnant?

amother

Slategray

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 1:14 pm

I think it could make a diff what the job is. I was in this situation years ago, it was in the corporate world and took a while from when they interviewed me till they finally sent a letter offering me the position (it took a few months), during that time I became pregnant (I was not far a long at all at that point) and felt guilty but did not tell them about it until after I was working, they were totally fine with it.

amother

Rose

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 2:03 pm

amother [ Mustard ] wrote:

Just so you know, FMLA doesn't apply unless you have been at a job for 12 months.

Thats really not true. I went on maternity/family leave only 9-10 months after I began my job

challahchallah

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 2:32 pm

amother [ Rose ] wrote:

Thats really not true. I went on maternity/family leave only 9-10 months after I began my job

It is true that FMLA (a federal law) does not cover you unless you’ve been employed for at least 12 months. Individual states and employers often have more generous policies, so you’d need to look at the specifics to know what leave you’d be eligible for.

OP, I do not think you should tell your employer now. They are legally not allowed to factor that into your employment. Give them the benefit of the doubt that they are good people who want to follow the law. By not telling them, you don’t give them the opportunity for their unconscious biases to get in the way of that. Plus, if they did need to make a change to your terms (for whatever reason, and it is a turbulent time now), you’d put them in a legally sticky situation if they knew.

amother

Oak

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 2:48 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm trained and have prior experience and qualifications. Learning the ropes as in fitting in with the team will take some time, but not more than a month.

I'll prob be leaving close to 6 months (at least 5.5 but I tend to go overdue)...and start showing within a month of starting

I am conflicted.

Ideally I support the rights of women.

However as an employer, I would really be resentful if I hired someone who planned to take off six months very shortly after starting a job. That is a huge burden to place on a company or department. What are they supposed to do in terms of having the job duties filled during your extended leave.

And if I were a co-worker, I would also not feel kindly about someone who did this because inevitably it creates harder times for other workers who inevitably have to take up the slack.

In my opinion, this is a different situation than if one is working o a job and becomes pregnant because one has not intentionally intended to be deceptive at the expense of yiur boss and coworkers and generally people want to help those with whom they have a history just as they pull together if a coworker or employee gets cancer or has other health issues.

amother

Rose

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 2:57 pm

challahchallah wrote:

Ok just checked:
under the New Jersey law if they have worked at least 1,000 hours (approx 41 days)for the employer in the preceding 12 months; under the FMLA, employees must have worked at least 1,250 hours (Approx 52 days) in the past 12 months to be eligible.

jflower

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 2:58 pm

If you're planning on taking 6 months maternity leave, I don't see how you can in good conscience accept this job. If you were planning on taking 6 weeks off, that might be a different story. Think about how you would want to be treated if you were an employer.

B'shaah tova!

challahchallah

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 3:07 pm

amother [ Rose ] wrote:

Your conversion from hours to days assumes that people work 24 hour days. Most people work more like 8 hour days. 1250 working hours translates to ~156 typical work days or ~31 typical (40-hour) work weeks.

I’m not sure about the specifics of NJ law, but as I mentioned, individual states do have more generous policies than the federal law requires. OP should definitely review her state’s rules.

FMLA requires 1250 hours of service in the past 12 months AND that the employee has been working there at least 12 months. The 12 months of employment don’t necessarily have to be consecutive, though. Here’s a link for the source:

https://www.dol.gov/agencies/w.....e/faq

challahchallah

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 3:10 pm

However, if you would not be eligible for leave under the law or you want to take more leave than they’re required to give you, you can absolutely tell them now so that you can negotiate for better terms in the same way that you’d negotiate salary and other benefits. It depends on the dynamics of the specific situation (how worried you are about losing the offer, how in demand you are, how much leave you want relative to what they’re required to offer, etc).

amother

Rose

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 3:11 pm

challahchallah wrote:

I dont know but what I do know is that in the 9-10 months I worked for my employer I worked 196 days I never worked in NJ before or for this employer and I received maternity and family leave no questions asked

amother

Slategray

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 3:12 pm

OP didn't say how long she planned to take off from maternity leave. I would agree that it is a factor. When I did not tell the employer (and btw I am still working there 15 yrs later) then I was planning a 3 month maternity leave. I think a 6 month leave is another story and maybe it is unfair not to tell them now.

amother

Rose

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 3:14 pm

amother [ Slategray ] wrote:

OP said she plans to take off 6 weeks

amother

Smokey

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 7:42 pm

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

I am conflicted.

Ideally I support the rights of women.

However as an employer, I would really be resentful if I hired someone who planned to take off six months very shortly after starting a job.

What the heck? Who takes a 6 month maternity leave?

Even if you were at a job for 15 years, an employer would be upset at a women for doing that, and would be right to fire her.

amother

Seashell

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 7:54 pm

amother [ Smokey ] wrote:

What the heck? Who takes a 6 month maternity leave?

Even if you were at a job for 15 years, an employer would be upset at a women for doing that, and would be right to fire her.

Some workplaces do allow leaves on the order of 6 months. It’s unusual but does happen.

Some states mandate employers give leaves up to that long in certain circumstances. For instance in California, a woman is considered disabled at 36w pregnant. If she gives birth at 40 weeks, then she’s been off for 4 weeks before birth. After the birth, she’s considered disabled for 6 weeks for a vaginal delivery or 8 weeks for a c-section. Once finished with disability, she’s entitled to 12 weeks of bonding leave. So, for example, 4 weeks before birth + 8 weeks csection disability + 12 weeks bonding =24 weeks which is pretty darn close to 6 months. Not all this leave is paid (but it is job-protected) and you have to have worked there for a certain amount of time etc but it’s not super crazy.

A woman certainly does not “deserve to be fired” after working somewhere 15 years because she takes a 6 month maternity leave.

amother

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 11:32 pm

amother [ Slategray ] wrote:

I guess I wasn't clear- the 6 months was in response to how long after the job starts will I be leaving. I will be at the job for at least 5 months before leaving. Will work up to the last minute, as possible. And I'm only planning on 6 weeks or maybe 8 if they give it.

singleagain

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 11:38 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Personally I think that six months is enough time to both settle into a job and prepare for a sub.

amother

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 11:40 pm

singleagain wrote:

Personally I think that six months is enough time to both settle into a job and prepare for a sub.

That's what I'm thinking... even the time of year is quiet. Not pesach, not tishrei, not new years or Xmas etc just in terms of the calendar- ill be missing a nice boring stretch

singleagain

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 11:59 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

That's what I'm thinking... even the time of year is quiet. Not pesach, not tishrei, not new years or Xmas etc just in terms of the calendar- ill be missing a nice boring stretch

Whatever you decide, I think it really depends on the attitude. Tell them, but don't say it "since it'll be quite anyways this is what's going to happen" say it like "I just wanted to give you a heads up I'll be due around this time - but I'm confident I'll be caught up and hopefully I'll be available on the phone, in case there are any issues, but seeing as it's a quiet time of year hopefully everything will be running smoothly"

amother

Orange

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 1:04 am

Wow, this is such a strange thread. No, you shouldn't tell your potential employer because legally it makes no difference to whether or not you should be hired. It is inappropriate for you to tell them.

In contrast to this thread I'm going to talk about my husband. Because no one is going to make a thread saying "should my husband tell his potential employer I'm pregnant?"

My husband has only worked for companies that give fully paid paternity leave since we started having kids. In his field, this is now the norm as a benefit and I think its only right all companies follow so this ridiculous question doesn't hinder women.

With my first he took off 12 WEEKS paternity leave after working 5.5 months for the company. They even sent me flowers when I had the baby.

By my second he was working for a nonprofit four months before I gave birth, they were slightly stingier obvious, gave 3 weeks fully paid then the city/state thing was an option but he ended up just working from home a couple months after baby was born to help.

My point is a company that really values their employees, men and women, shouldn't care and legally they cant care. Investing in their employees(and their general mental/physical welfare) is investing in their company.

#endrant