Leaving children in car

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Thu, Sep 15 2005, 2:08 pm

I was thinking about this topic for a while, but the story of the baby in Mtl. made me start this thread.
If you forgot something in your house, after you already have your kids all buckled up in the car in the driveway, and you're in a rush, what do you do?
1. Leave them- it'll only be for a second
a. with windows open - for ventilation
b. with windows closed - for security
c. with engine on - for a/c or heat
d. with engine off - for security
2. Take them out, shlep them back to the house, and get them back in the car

I have done #1 a,d - but always feel guilty afterwards.
I'll do #2 if I only have one of my kids with me.

shoy18

Thu, Sep 15 2005, 2:21 pm

I think it depends where you live if you live in the suburbs and you have driveway right up to your house I dont think leaving them in the car to run and get something is a big deal. If you live in the city or if you dont have a driveway I would not do it.

613

Thu, Sep 15 2005, 2:24 pm

See this thread:
http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....12c41

In children's health section, called Upsetting Sight (I started it- last post was in Feb 2005 so it's toward the bottom of the forum page)

supermom

Thu, Sep 15 2005, 3:27 pm

never thought of that one since we don't own a car but I am curious what poeple do, do.

Tovah

Thu, Sep 15 2005, 3:55 pm

I'm a pretty paranoid mother but once I did leave them by the door in the stroller, when I came back I saw some man staring,
I think that was a pretty good warning for me.

Rivka

Thu, Sep 15 2005, 8:12 pm

I don't leave my son in the car, yes I have one child so it's easier but it still is a pain and I take him out and have the whole hassle.
Though if I am taking him out with the buggy and I need to run in the house to get something I wedge the buggy by the door and run up and come down...really I shouldn't do that and should move the buggy completely in the house.

JEWISHMAMA

Mon, Sep 19 2005, 4:12 am

our crime rate is extreemly low where we are so I have no problem leaving my kids in the car. Though I usually take them out cause they like to touch the buttons and the handbrake makes me a bit nervous. However, when I lived in NY I would never leave my buggy or my kids out.

Shimmysmom

Mon, Sep 19 2005, 10:33 am

I don't leave my son in the car. actually a few times I was in a rush and saw a local bais yaakov girl ( that I know well ) outside I would ask her to please watch the baby in the car for a second while I run upstairs.

Pearl

Mon, Sep 19 2005, 10:45 am

I never leave my children in the car, ever!

TzenaRena

Mon, Sep 19 2005, 9:48 pm

I tell my children never to stay in the car if Tatty goes out, they should go out with him! My husband laughs at me for being a nervous wreck, which is why I gave up on telling my husband, and instead tell the kids.

When I was eight years old I released the hand brake while my father was out of the car, and me and my sister inside. We started rolling down a hill! Luckily my father ran up to the car and was able to stop it.

I was on 13th ave in BP shopping in a store when I heard a shriek! amother standing next to me had turned white, screamed "my baby!" and ran out. I saw a car carreering across the avenue (then two way traffic) and coming to a stop on the opposite side after hitting the curb. Miraculously the 2-3 yr. old child, who had been left in the car was not hurt. Somehow he had managed to get it going (did his mother leave the key in ignition? was it the hand brake?)

Many many reasons not to leave children of any ages in car alone.

Last edited by TzenaRena on Tue, Sep 20 2005, 10:54 am; edited 1 time in total

Ima-to-angels

Tue, Sep 20 2005, 7:27 am

We have private parking at the back of our house/garden, so yeah, I leave them in the car with windows/doors open. They are all strapped in, so they can't touch anything. The eldest knows how to undo her strap, but she is more into climbing over seats than anything technical.

If I am in a city I won't leave them for a second and will rather give up on whatever it is I forgot/needed than shlep them all out and back in again.

Yael

Wed, Sep 21 2005, 12:39 pm

I would lock the doors and crack open the widows if I needed to just get something from the house, as long as they are buckled in and cant reach anything. its only for 30 seconds.
once I got the kids in and buckled them turned on the engine b/c it was broiling hot, then closed the door and went around to my side to open my door and then discovered that while levi was playing around before getting in his seat he pressed the lock button. and I was locked out. the kids were safe, and nice and cool, though they were bored.
and I had to wait in the boiling hot humid weather next to the car for more than a half hour till my husband could get there to open it. I'll admit that I did run into the store I was parked in front of to just cool off for a couple minutes. but I could see the car the whole time and anyhow what could happen anyhow? if I cant get to my kids noone can, and even if they cried there wasnt much I could do to console them. (they didnt cry though)
that was one experience I hope never to repeat.
words of wisdom: always make sure you have your keys in your hands when closing the door, or at least make sure the locks are unlocked

chen

Sun, Oct 30 2005, 5:46 pm

OK, I admit my family is on the small side and I cannot say what I'd do if I had 10 kids. however, I assume if I had 10 kids most likely at least a couple would have reached the age of reason (teen-age) and could be trusted to watch the others.

NEVER< EVER< EVER leave a child/ren alone in a car--not even for 30 seconds. In summer, the inside of a car can reach immediately-dangerous-to-life-and-health temps. in just a few minutes. the metal surfaces can get hot enough to cause 2nd degree burns within minutes. and that's for an adult. children burn more easily, dehydrate more easily and their body temp. can soar more easily. health depts. tell you not even to leave your pet inside a car, even with the window cracked. Know how to make a solar oven that will actually cook your food? get a metal box, cover the top with clear plastic or glass, put it out in the sun. what does that sound like?

In winter the burning risk goes away--though not entirely if you are parked in the sun. there is still the risk of kidnapping (all it takes is for you to look away for a few secs.), the risk of a child putting the car in gear and the car taking off on its own, the risk of carbon monoxide poisoning if you left the motor running...

I was once talking to a friend who was standing outside her car with her friends. she had left her 4-year old on the front passenger seat. the car was parked on an incline and her key was in the ignition. somehow, the child managed to switch the engine on and put the car in gear. it took an eyeblink. the car started to roll--and two kids were standing right in the path of this vehicle. B"H she had the presence of mind to reach in, shut off the ignition and put the car into park. one doesn't like to contemplate what could have happened otherwise.

sarayehudis, pearl, shimmysmom, you all have the right idea. stick to your guns, sarayehudis! men are by nature greater risk-takers than women. women live longer than men. think there's a connection?

Rivka

Tue, Nov 01 2005, 7:06 pm

I take it you all have automatic cars. I ask because it seems that the children can put the car in gear. It can roll if the handbreak is off and the car has been put in neutral on a slope.

IndyMom

Tue, Nov 01 2005, 10:47 pm

I live in a small town so I am comfortable leaving my kids in the open garage for a few seconds while I run back into my hosue to get something (car off because of CO poisioning risk). I even leave my 4 month old baby in the car wiht a window open (car on - so she can get heat/AC) when I knock on the door of my son's preschool a few feet away from the car to pick him up.

I think it really depends on where you live. I would never leavem y children alone in a car in Chicago, NY, even Silver Spring. But in my little town in Indy, and just for a few seconds with all kids strapped in, I am comfortable doing it. (I always leave a window or door open if I leave the keys in the car to make sure I don't get locked out.)

amother

Tue, Dec 20 2005, 12:04 pm

I am from MTL and on a day trip to Platzburg Ny I ran into the post office to grab mail outta the po box we had. My then 14 mos old was asleep. In one minute a police person was there ready to arrest me!! I talked my self outta that one.
BE CAREFUL!

miriam

Tue, Dec 20 2005, 7:59 pm

YIKES, I am glad to hear you got out of it.

amother

Wed, Dec 21 2005, 1:08 pm

I had a similar experience amother. I left my toddler in the car while I took the baby inside the store to pick up a few items. It was a rainy, coldish day and she was cranky, had a bad cold and had fallen asleep. When I came out ten minutes later, my daughter was crying because a police woman was opening the car. She took my name and number and I was investigated for child neglect. The case was closed and there were no long term consequences, really.

At first I felt terrible that I did such an awful thing, that I left my toddler in the car to run in for some groceries. It was hard to get over the feeling of guilt. Until the next day, when I was driving on the highway and I saw a little boy, not more than five, sitting in the front seat of a car, without a seatbelt. I realized that if the driver were pulled over, he would get a ticket and a fine for no seatbelts, etc, but he would not be investigated for neglect. Despite the fact that children are much more likely to get into a car accident and suffer serious injuries when a parent seats them in the front and without a seatbelt, than when a mother locks her doors and runs inside to get some groceries on a cold rainy day and leaves her child alone in the car.

Of course, now, I have learned my lesson and don't leave kids in the car. Still, I think it is ridiculous. Seriously, on a cold, rainy day ( 50s) what could happen to my sleeping child inside a locked car ? Yes, someone could come and try to break in and kidnap her. How common is that ? Is that common enough for me to really worry about it ? Is it more common than children who go head first through the windshield because they weren't buckled ?

And to all of you who are planning to write back that two wrongs don;t make a right, don't bother, I know that.

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