Need to rest cling child

amother

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 11:25 am

I am very tired and need to rest, need space. My kid is on me, poking me, whatever, I told her to sit near me on the floor but she is crying crocodile tears that she is lonely. I need help.

Ora in town

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 11:29 am

embrace your child instead of fighting her... you won't get alone-time... but you can have a better time with her than fighting with her...

Or find a mother's helper, baby-sitter, family member who will take her, quickly...

Last edited by Ora in town on Tue, Jun 23 2020, 2:50 pm; edited 1 time in total

Blessing1

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 11:30 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I am very tired and need to rest, need space. My kid is on me, poking me, whatever, I told her to sit near me on the floor but she is crying crocodile tears that she is lonely. I need help.

Rest?? With kids home??? The 2 don't go together!!!
Maybe settle her with toys or books next to you on the couch.

Ilana Tamar

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 11:38 am

Perhaps get her a special and exciting (But quiet) toy that she is only allowed to play with when Mommy needs to rest

amother

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 11:51 am

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

Sit with her and do a project. Give her time and then she will leave you alone.

I already did that. She is almost 4. She is a very emotional, dramatic kid, and wants what she wants. I need to raise her but haven't had the emotional energy with Covid 19 and all...

amother

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 11:52 am

Blessing1 wrote:

Rest?? With kids home??? The 2 don't go together!!!
Maybe settle her with toys or books next to you on the couch.

That's What I was trying to do...now she is watching a video. Hope that will last.

Zehava

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 1:32 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I already did that. She is almost 4. She is a very emotional, dramatic kid, and wants what she wants. I need to raise her but haven't had the emotional energy with Covid 19 and all...

By raising her you mean you need to quash or ignore the emotion out of her to teach her not to be so dramatic and cry crocodile tears?
I get that you’re exhausted but your description of your child is disturbing

amother

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 2:16 pm

Zehava wrote:

Lol. No. Every child deserves chinuch. You know teaching a child right from wrong. Not to run in the street, to put their toys away, to handle frustration. I think if you love your kid you raise them. Smile

amother

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 2:17 pm

jewishmom6 wrote:

Sounds like she needs someone to play with.
maybe you can invite a friend over?

They are in school now.

Just drank a cup of coffee. Feeling a bit better.

amother

Purple

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 2:19 pm

Hugs OP- this has been such a hard time for us mums... and for our little ones.

Do you allow any screen time- this may be a good time for a bit of self care to regain your strength for the rest of the day.

I also feel that if you keep on pulling away she’ll feel that and be clingier. Try to set a bit of time where your all hers and I bet she’ll be ok playing on her own after that. And you won’t feel guilty telling her- mummy played with you and now she needs to rest a bit while you play quietly.

Zehava

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 2:21 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Calling a child’s cries crocodile tears is not chinuch

amother

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 2:30 pm

Zehava wrote:

Calling a child’s cries crocodile tears is not chinuch

I was trying g to explain that they weren't tears of pain, but tears that work to get my way. Which is what children are programmed to do in a BH healthy household, especially when Mommy doesn't have strength and gives in most of the time.

Learning

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 2:40 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It is still pain. It’s emotional pain. Frustration. Can you send her to playgroup? She is probably bored

Zehava

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 2:41 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Sigh
I know I won’t change your mind. This is why we’re all so messed up

amother

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 2:47 pm

Zehava wrote:

Sigh
I know I won’t change your mind. This is why we’re all so messed up

Who is we, me and you?

Just for perspective you have no clue what kind of mom I really am, from two sentences. I think you would be pleasantly surprised.

Will not take this personally.

Sending you my love Smile

amother

Teal

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 2:49 pm

Well OP if you figure it out, I'd love to know the magic. My dd is very similar. Gets easily overwrought and frustrated by little things. Everything is 'I can't' and she cries very easily. I try and be reassuring and validate her but it often isn't enough. She's also an anxious child by nature and I don't know if that makes a difference. And to those posters that say spending more time helps, well it doesn't always. I don't see a difference if I've given more attention or not.
I'm with you op- it's really hard and frustrating. But I just tell myself this too shall pass and try not to take it personally. But there are enough days when I want to hide under my covers and ignore

amother

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 2:52 pm

Learning wrote:

It is still pain. It’s emotional pain. Frustration. Can you send her to playgroup? She is probably bored

I wish. She is registered for day camp.

BH I have been managing. With love and support. It's been hard juggling chronic fatigue with being on for my kids all day.

Did some projects with her and let her watch some videos.

She was just especially clingy today and I was especially tired.

My dream is to teach her to be able to handle me resting on the couch but it takes strength and headspace so usually I just let her push me around...