Do you care about how much sugar and junk your kids eat?

amother

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 8:05 am

Because sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who does. The amount of junk my kids get in school, on shabbos at friends houses, at parties etc etc etc..., but especially in school, and it just never ends, is staggering.

We all know sugar is addictive, terrible for immune, gut, teeth, endocrine health. Food dyes and msg are neurotoxic. Nitrates are endocrine disrupters. These effects are very very real even if not immediate.

One of the things I liked most about lockdown was being able to feed my kids exclusively nutritious real food. And no, they weren’t deprived. I spend a lot of money on healthy but yummy snacks that look and taste delicious. There are sooo many options these days that don’t contain dyes or artificial flavors, healthier snack bag options, fruit concentrate based snacks, etc. real treats were reserved for shabbos, and it was really just shabbos. Now they are back at school friends and neighbors and I am back to feeling like it’s out of control. My sons rebbe gives treats daily ( taffies, gum lollies, donuts, ice cream sandwiches) as rewards for good behavior. My daughter is having a Siyum/party every day this week where 9 girls bring a nosh every single day. Shabbos and Sunday they go to friends where they gorge on candy. The neighbors eat colored freeze pops every day and of course my kids ask for them. Fruit juice pops aren’t nearly as interesting. The candy man in shul who gives out these huge rectangular tangy taffies. Then the ice cream truck, and Rosh Chodesh...I took them to a neighbors pool the other day, and all the kids were munching on ketchup chips and twizzlers. We had just had delicious cut up berries and nut bars before we came but guess who still felt deprived? I’m already dreading day camp, which is sure to be an unparalleled junk fest, as it is every year.

Anyways, this is not at all a judgment on how people choose to feed there kids. I am genuinely a live and let live kind of person, and I know people face all kinds of circumstances that affect what kind of food they are able to get and use. It’s just frustrating to me that I feel my efforts go to naught, and my kids always feel deprived despite all the healthier goodies we have, because real junk is just that much more exciting. And honestly I’m curious to know how others feel about this. I find that if I can understand it better it helps me be less upset. And also if anyone has good ideas what to do about it.

I know I can just say no, but it doesn’t seem fair when everyone else is doing it. And it really is everyone. I don’t see parents limiting the amt of nosh their kids ingest. Some I tea, maybe half heartedly, but their standards will still be very very different. Nor do my kids see that anywhere. I don’t want them to be the only ones.

I know some people care somewhat, but curious is anyone cares as much as I do. Cause this really really bothers me and I can’t see myself just throwing my hands up and saying forget it. OTOH, the constant inner battle is exhausting too.

amother

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 8:12 am

amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:

Yes it bothers me. I try the best I can to feed them healthy. I grew up only healthy eating and I personally didn't feel deprived but some of my siblings did. I try to do a happy medium. I keep some junk. The house but I'm general I try to be careful.

the problem with being careful in the house for us is A) they are still getting so much out of the house b) the house starts feeling restrictive c) moderation is important but some of this stuff is literally poison. (No I don’t tell my kids that) d) I’m just not seeing the moderAtion

I get that it’s still better than nothing, but it’s so frustrating and useless.

RuralIma

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 8:25 am

Our son is still young so it's definitely easier for him and he never feels deprived or like he's missing out. We only give sweets/junk food on Shabbat and if he gets something during the week he saves it for Shabbat without us telling him to. He didn't even taste anything with added sugar until he was close to 5 so he never developed much of a sweet tooth.

At birthday parties/class parties/etc he'll ask what he can/how much he can have beforehand and is fine with only taking 1 or 2 things or nothing. We talk a lot about healthy choices and why we feed our bodies good, healthy things and why we only eat treats sometimes. We try to emphasize the positives of eating healthy and not focus too much on the "no" aspect of not eating treats.

It's hard when so many people don't care as much about what their kids are eating and it turns into a seemingly endless parade of unhealthy foods. Where we live most people seem to focus on healthy foods, even at birthdays it'll be mostly healthy food and cake but I'm not sure what we'll do when he's older and we live in an area that doesn't care as much. Hopefully after years of living this way it'll just be ingrained that sweets and junk shouldn't be an every day thing?

amother

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 8:29 am

tweety1 wrote:

My mother was that kind of mother like you op. When I went to other ppls houses, party's etc I was like a lion let loose of a cage. Kids do feel deprived if they don't get it at home. It's just something you'll never change in this world as hard as you try. Now don't get me wrong, I by far don't feed my kids junk all day. I don't own candies, Taffy's and all these kind of junk, but I do have chips, colored freeze pops, regular store bought ices. If they won't be satisfied from at home theyll look for it elsewhere.

I was waiting for this kind of answer.

guess what? I am a thousand times less restrictive than than my own mother, but my kids still crave what everyone else is having. Never change in the world? If everyone were a little more conscious, it would make things a lot easier. My kids aren’t deprivedof sweets and snacks, it’s just that certain types of junk is literally designed to be addictive. It upsetting.

amother

Papaya

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 8:30 am

tweety1 wrote:

Wow I hope you can feel lucky about this one day.
My mom was opppiste. Fed us sugar all day long. And I suffer to this day. PCOS, diabetes, overweight and horrible other issues.

amother

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 8:32 am

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

Wow I hope you can feel lucky about this one day.
My mom was opppiste. Fed us sugar all day long. And I suffer to this day. PCOS, diabetes, overweight and horrible other issues.

I do appreciate it today, though I definitely didn’t like it as a kid. Which is why I put in a ton of effort to help my kids find a healthy balance at home, take the deprivation and guilt out of the equation. Which is why it’s so frustrating when it feels like my efforts are constantly being sabotaged.

I’m sorry about your health issues and hope you can find healing. Diet is a powerful healing tool.

amother

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 8:35 am

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

Usually, yes. Now? No. As Norman Blumenthal has said repeatedly, in a situation like this, you do what you need to to get by. I have been letting my kids eat on a daily basis things they usually only have on Shabbos or a special occasion. Sometimes, without that feeling of specialness, they weren't up to doing Zoom class, etc.

In general, I consider it something important, but it's not at the top of my list. If I need to give in as an incentive for something I consider more important, or ti help a less confident kid fit in, I usually will.

this isn’t specific to corona. At all.

asmileaday

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 8:45 am

It really depends on the age of your kids.
We talk about this topic often, I explain why sugar isn't the best. I bought a great comics book (in Yiddish, can't remember the exact name) that explains the effects of different types of foods on the body's system. My kids were fascinated by it.
Yet, I don't hide the junk. We have plenty of candy and nosh in the house. My kids don't crave it. They usually have the pure sugar junk on shabbos only. But it's not a battle, I just educate. And if they go to neighbors or bring home treats from school I don't blink.
I don't restrict snacks and ices (dye free, they don't even want the color ones, they are grossed out by it, maybe it's nature maybe it's nurture).
We aren't the healthiest eaters but we read nutrition facts on labels for awareness.
I do believe some kids by nature crave more junk than others. I guess I'm just lucky.

amother

Smokey

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 8:53 am

Well...
Where I live many public schools (and preschools) have really strict policies about sweets, and even about what children are allowed to bring for their own snacks. Especially kindergarten tends to be very strict about this, but also primary schools... They give the parents a list about what is allowed (fruit, veggies, bread I suppose) and what is forbidden (sweets, power bars, cake, etc.sometimes even bananas). If the child brings a forbidden snack regardless, the teacher takes it away and gives it back before going home, with a remark to the parents...

I found this completely over the top, and very controlling.

A colleague who sends her children to public school told me she found it good, because it helps the parents enforce healthy choices for the children, she says it really helps them acquire good dietary habits, over time...

Candies as incentives have been "forbidden" for at least 20 years in school, also in jewish schools. The teachers give out either salty pretzels or little toys... But anything sweet is big no-no...

For birthday (in kindergarten) children are allowed to bring little packs of goodies for the other children, this is not censored too much...

What do I think of all this?

I think it's becoming a new religion, almost an obsession, with too much moral judgement going around...

I always had fruit available, tried also to make beautiful plates with cut fruit for snacks, (now they are big enough to do it themselves) I serve a lot of raw vegetables (I like them myself), especially before the meal, I serve at least one salad with every meal, 4-6 dips and salads on shabbat, most of the time I serve cooked veggies in the meal... I never force to eat anything, respect dislikes as they are...but children are big imitators, reverse psychology is very helpfull sometimes in this realm.

I limit availability of sweets in the house, but I don't ban them, I generally give out one treat a day, and outside the house I don't have rules, the children do what they want (also with their pocket money)... And in general I don't do sugary drinks... We have water, bubble water and things we make ourselves like lemonade, ginger juice... Apple juice on shabbes (and leftovers during the week). Sometimes the children buy themselves fuzzy drinks...

One child, in kindergarten age, tried to skip meals so as to concentrate on dessert... but we do not always have dessert... and she came to like veggies with a sweet taste, like kigel with carrots and onions, pumpkin soup, oven-baked bell peppers or brussel sprouts. OK. I admit. Sometimes I put a bit of sugar in the green salad or cucumber salad, like my bubbie, to bribe her...

Overall,they all have healthy eating habits now. I think if you don't make much of a fuss, it comes on its own...

The main problem in our society is not childhood obesity, but adult obesity.

amother

Indigo

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 8:54 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If you SD, you won't be exposed to all this sugar and be in this situation.

amother

Aqua

Wed, Jun 24 2020, 9:09 am

yeah I also struggle with it. sometimes there are satisfactory substitutes like my dd was ok with costco organic fruit icepops instead of the junky ones but the fact that her best friend's mother is only allowing packaged food now because of covid 19 really makes it more challenging.

I disagree that it's ignorance. I think its also priorities. My dd struggles with her weight. She's already overweight, I really don't need her filling up on empty calories, a lot of her friends are skinny even though they eat more junk. I personally also don't feel so well when I eat a diet of junk so why would I feed it to my kids?

It's really really hard. It's one of a number of reasons why I don't send to camp. My dd didn't want to go anyway so it wasn't like it was a battle or anything.