*Covid 19* *Safe Space* to discuss lifting restrictions

amother

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 1:23 pm

So, you know the “Natural Parenting - Safe Haven” forum?
Please post on this thread as though it’s in that forum.
This is for people who have been quarantining / social distancing.
If you never did it, don’t think it’s important, are sick of it, have a my body my choice attitude, don’t think covid is a big deal in the first place, please do not reply to this thread.
Please respect this safe space.

——————————————

So here goes:

We quarantined with our toddler for a few months. We recently started social distancing with the (young age) grandparents and aunts/uncles (meaning one other family technically). We’re the ones more at risk to due a pre existing condition) We now go on walks and to the grocery store with masks.

I am feeling between a rock and a hard place.
DC hasn’t been to daycare or played with another child since March!
DC has been in Daycare since a few months old.
Is this going to continue until September?

I am feeling so so conflicted.

I really need to sound off about this.
DH is staying in staying in.
But I feel bad for the baby!!! (Well, toddler, bykwim)

Amarante

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 1:27 pm

In terms of your child, I have read that people are creating a limited "pod" of people who they are willing to interact with. This means that the people would be those you trust to follow the same level of precautions that you do and therefore in effect they are an extension of their household.

I am aware that any close interaction with someone outside my household means that I am effectively interacting with every single person they have.

Here is a story about a family in which there was a party on May 30 and one person infected 18 family members. The grandparents are in the hospital and the grandfather will probably not make it.

And those 18 people would have interacted with other people as they went about their business for a period of time spreading the infection further - exponentially increasing rates of infection

https://www.wfaa.com/article/n.....6f836

amother

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 1:34 pm

Amarante wrote:

I totally understand that! I don’t need convincing!

No one I know cares :/ so I can’t create the “pod” Sad

amother

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 1:36 pm

ora_43 wrote:

Are you looking for support? Suggestions on how to cope with the difficulty? Or suggestions on how to relax some of the distancing you're doing in the safest possible way?

I’m not sure.

The best suggestion would be to social distance with a pod like amaranth suggested.
However, no one I know cares.

I think I just need help to make sure my child will be ok.

Amarante

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 1:46 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I totally understand that! I don’t need convincing!

No one I know cares :/ so I can’t create the “pod” Sad

I didn't mean that you weren't aware of the risks of socializing.

It's just a conundrum as I have been socially distancing as well. I am in Los Angeles where cases are spiking and I don't realistically see any way to safely change behavior until there is a vaccine.

The people I know are doing the same - interacting as little as possible and when they do so, taking every precaution to minimize their exposure.

There are some programs that various organizations are doing which are accessible on computer and might be fun for your child - not the same as human interaction but they have exercise and dance stuff for example.

amother

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 2:47 pm

Amarante wrote:

I feel bad, because for me, I have other adults, and families with multiple children, have, well, multiple children. He’s an only child.

amother

Lime

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 8:35 pm

I think the longer you stay in the harder it is to come out. I think lots of people have anxiety and inertia helps keep them in

My 5 year of is a. Only child (though bh I’m expecting) and was home from daycare since March when everything shut. I got Covid I mid March which bled into pesach and keeping her home the. Was a no brainer. But she was Decompensating. She was regressing. She was watching too much tv because my husband had to work (I was out daily as an essential hospital worker) She was bored and In engaged and acting out. So In early may when I heard that the city has childcare for kids of essential workers I looked into it, and decided it met her/our needs. My husband and I debated the risk however I felt we were watching another risk right in front of us: her mental health was declining and she was not thriving. So we put her into the REC and haven’t looked back. They have precautions (including masks but if I’m being honest I know kids compliance is spotty) and she is another kid: she’s back to herself but better! She’s learned new things and made new friends and is doing great. We haven’t really opened up further: we haven’t done 1:1 play dates and everywhere we go we wear masks but I just wanted to validate you that if you choose to put your kid in camp or school, I support you. You know what your kid needs better than anyone

amother

Indigo

Mon, Aug 24 2020, 8:56 pm

Amarante wrote:

This, create a safe pod to extend your circle

amother

Mauve

Mon, Aug 24 2020, 9:11 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I’m not sure.

The best suggestion would be to social distance with a pod like amaranth suggested.
However, no one I know cares.

I think I just need help to make sure my child will be ok.

Why would he not be OK? Is your child disabled, or needing special therapy?

When I was growing up, nobody went to school until kindergarten. We all turned out pretty good.

Maybe you are the one who won't be OK, until your child is out of the house. Could that be the case?

amother

Babypink

Mon, Aug 24 2020, 9:13 pm

amother [ Mauve ] wrote:

Did you also never play with friends, never go to the playground, never see your relatives, never go to the store?

Let's not pretend it's exactly the same.

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, Aug 24 2020, 9:30 pm

I am also SDing but I have had to go to work in a very SD environment and I have sent my little one to a well run daycare where she has 2 dedicated teachers and a small class of children of other essential workers so she gets some interaction.

But I don't go to community events, my big kids have stayed home, we visit with some friends who have a similar approach to mine outdoors in a socially distanced way and that I feel is manageable, and I do almost all my shopping without kids only going to places that aren't crowded and where people are wearing masks consistently. I also order a lot of things online and do a weekly grocery pickup order for staples from one store.

I've had to triage things into musts, strong wants, nice to do's, and not necessary things for my family based on our needs and practicalities.

I think if you can find a family keeping similar practices to yours and arranging some outdoor play maybe it could be worthwhile, of course if you feel comfortable.

As school tries to resume, my daughters including the little one will be in school full time and that presents new risks to our household, so I will be reassessing what I do to manage the new risks. My son has a fully virtual learning option in a different school and will be doing that, which so far has worked well for him and which will minimize risks on one front.

My priorities, on top of obviously iyh staying healthy, are to continue working (I'm a single mom) and maximize my children being in school/doing virtual school in as stable of a way as I can. If I could keep my older daughter (middle school age) home this term, I would, but without going into details, it's just not an option and I believe the school is small and is working very hard to do the right things, so I'm going to give it a chance.

amother

Mon, Aug 24 2020, 11:25 pm

amother [ Mauve ] wrote:

Did you grow up as only child? Did you also not see another child until you were kindergarten? No play dates? No neighbors, family friends, cousins, other children at a local playground? Only you and your adult parents and zero other child interaction?

Regarding your last sentence, ABSOLUTELY not. I a, cherishing each moment. This whole post is how I feel like I should actually not be ok, but feeling guilty because I love spending so much time with him, but I know it’s better for him to have the company of other children. So that’s quite the opposite.
I’m more of a stay at home kind of gal, but at this young age I can see how he thrives being with lots and lots of people.

So no, this is not about me,

amother

Sapphire

Mon, Aug 24 2020, 11:28 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Actually pretty much. Maybe saw other kids 10 times until I started school at 4 but some children wouldn't be ok wifh that.