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I’m Hashem n Farfel — AMA!
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 2:39 am
I completely forgot about this post 🙈🙈🙈
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 2:46 am
ExtraCredit wrote:
Here. I bumped it for you. Not sure if this was asked yet. Who was your shadchen?


In real life and online I say “hashem was our shadchan!”

We “met” on Shabbat.com

My husband contacted me first.

Lol you totally should’ve seen my face.

Basically I was like what’s a chossid doing on the internet?!!!! (Before I knew there were chasidish ppl on the internet lol) and I thought it wouldn’t work out....we were too different etc etc

But then I decided to give it a chance

Somehow it worked out
We had the same ideas (mostly, but not all which we found out AFTER we married and BH were going through it together) and we really liked each other

And somehow I felt “at home” with him.

Even though we bump heads sometimes (on the little stuff mostly, but rarely the big giant stuff) we’re mostly happy together.
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 2:48 am
familyfirst wrote:
What language do you speak to your child in?
Spanish, English, Hungarian, Yiddish?
All of the above?


Mostly English
Spanish is my first language but I can speak it but my grammar is wayyyy off. My mom told me this actually haha. She was embarrassed! Well can’t blame her I don’t live in a place where Spanish is heard 24/7

My husband speaks to our son in Yiddish only but my husband and I talk English amongst ourselves.

He taught himself yiddish mostly but learnt some from his dad who is chasidish jewish
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 2:52 am
dankbar wrote:
People go to Arizona for eczema. There is a bungalow colony/community there, where chassidish people go for skin issues.


Where? I’m guessing Tucson Smile

I’m from Phoenix and Tucson is like about an hours drive away I think. My family in AZ rarely go there
Another guess is Scottsdale or Sedona...
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Surrendered




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 2:59 am
Oh my my, I am so blown away by your strength. As well as your openness here to answer our questions so patiently.
You are one strong incredible person!!! So is your DH. Ive got so much admiration for you, I wish I can meet you someday.

I'm trying to figure out this combination, you mentioned that DH is a Ger. You also said that your FIL is from a chasidish background and that he is chasidish....
No offense please.
To clarify: So his ex-chasidish father intermarried, than told his son nice stories about chasidim?
His father was the one who he was convinced from to become chasidish?
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 3:24 am
Surrendered wrote:
Oh my my, I am so blown away by your strength. As well as your openness here to answer our questions so patiently.
You are one strong incredible person!!! So is your DH. Ive got so much admiration for you, I wish I can meet you someday.

I'm trying to figure out this combination, you mentioned that DH is a Ger. You also said that your FIL is from a chasidish background and that he is chasidish....
No offense please.
To clarify: So his ex-chasidish father intermarried, than told his son nice stories about chasidim?
His father was the one who he was convinced from to become chasidish?


Not a problem at all actually.
It’s tragic
Every time I think of his dads story I get sad and I daven to hashem to please accept him fully after all that he has done in his life when his time comes.

So my husband’s father grew up in a chasidish home his parents are Holocaust survivors.
He has I think 6-8 siblings one who died at childbirth and a sister who lives in ICannotNameThePlaceOnPurpose.
He married a giyores and they had 2 sons and then the couple got divorced. I’m not sure if it was before or after the divorce but that giyores went completely off the derech. I’m sure it was after but I’ll ask my husband.
A couple years later he met my mother in law and she told him she was Jewish (she thought all Jews were rich......) when she was actually not Jewish at all.
My husband was born and they were already living in separate places. My FIL found out one day visiting my husbands maternal grandmother (who was all the way catholic with crosses and stuff) that my MIL was actually not Jewish and that made him leave my MIL.

The frum community found out about this “relationship” and they would not let him in the shul and once a person beat him up.

I don’t know how they found out. Neither does my husband.

It’s a sad sad story.

My husband met his half brothers when he stayed in London for a bit, I think he tracked them down or my FIL told my husband about his first sons, and these sons would not acknowledge my husband after he said “I’m your half brother from Hungary I need a place to sleep....” they were telling him “you’re not my brother you’re not my brother get out of here!” and my husband just stood outside the door crying. He was already converted.
Also, my FIL has another few brothers living in willi and they came to our tenoyim and maybe even my wedding, I really suspect that my husbands aunt begged them to...
But after that they didn’t even invite us for a shabbos or a Yom Tov and I don’t think they came to the bris of our son because of the embarrassment that my FIL caused them.

His parents were already niftar when my husband was born so they were spared the pain, but still. No frum person would allow their child to marry or be or even have s33333x with a [non jew].

I don’t know how the shiduch between my FIL and that OTD giyores came about.

My husbands aunt is really close with my FIL. She was the only sibling who would maintain contact with him.


Last edited by Hashem_n_Farfel on Wed, Oct 21 2020, 3:30 am; edited 1 time in total
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Rappel




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 3:28 am
I'm crying now. Poor man.
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 3:35 am
Rappel wrote:
I'm crying now. Poor man.


I know. He’s such a good sweet sweet sweet person who was very deceived by this lady and my MIL.

my mother in law is also a good warm person but oy she shouldn’t have lieeeeeddddddd.

He is a frum man today still. He always was.

As a child my husband would ask him “why are you wearing that hat? (The kippah)” and my father in law would get upset.
He couldn’t take it that he has a non jewish child.

Then when my husband converted he jokingly said to his dad “see I’m Jewish like you now”

They talk every week
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Surrendered




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 3:37 am
Nebach, your DH went through such painful childhood years. I'm impressed that regardless of what he went through, he had such courage to forge ahead and become frum. And chasidish. Even though he was bullied by his fathers family.
I can understand the pain the family went through when they found out that their brother drifted away and married a non Jewish woman, but why does his innocent son have to suffer for that? I hope by now they fully accept you both.
Btw, Regardless of what your FIL did, he did not deserve a beating from another Yid. That's not what yidden do. That is totally uncalled for. I'm embarrassed to hear that...
I'm glad you and DH got passed that episode and the fact that some people are extremely naive in accepting yidden who are different then their upbringing. I'm glad to hear that after getting that nasty look from this naive woman in W, you knew that this is not the norm and most jews are more accepting.
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 3:44 am
Surrendered wrote:
Nebach, your DH went through such painful childhood years. I'm impressed that regardless of what he went through, he had such courage to forge ahead and become frum. And chasidish. Even though he was bullied by his fathers family.
I can understand the pain the family went through when they found out that their brother drifted away and married a non Jewish woman, but why does his innocent son have to suffer for that? I hope by now they fully accept you both.
Btw, Regardless of what your FIL did, he did not deserve a beating from another Yid. That's not what yidden do. That is totally uncalled for. I'm embarrassed to hear that...
I'm glad you and DH got passed that episode and the fact that some people are extremely naive in accepting yidden who are different then their upbringing. I'm glad to hear that after getting that nasty look from this naive woman in W, you knew that this is not the norm and most jews are more accepting.


My husband barely knew his fathers family, he only knew about the aunt and grandparents
But I’ll ask just to make sure hehe. He’s asleep now.

Yes sometimes the question would come up “hey why don’t we ever get shabbos or Yom Tov invites from your uncles in willi?”

My husband would get this small sad look on his face and it would disappear and he would say it’s because of what my dad did
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Surrendered




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 3:49 am
Your DH is such a Tzaddik! Especially being Dan Lkaf zchus his paternal family.
I would Love to meet you one day soon. You are a special person!!!
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Surrendered




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 3:52 am
Hey, can I ask one more question? Why are you up at this hour?
Me? Oh, my baby woke me up. He fell back asleep in my bed. But once I'm up and browsing... its hard to go back to sleep.
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 4:14 am
Surrendered wrote:
Your DH is such a Tzaddik! Especially being Dan Lkaf zchus his paternal family.
I would Love to meet you one day soon. You are a special person!!!


Boruch hashem he is and I’m inspired by him.
And for sure! I’m a bit shy in person though, but people describe me as friendly 😅
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 4:17 am
Surrendered wrote:
Hey, can I ask one more question? Why are you up at this hour?
Me? Oh, my baby woke me up. He fell back asleep in my bed. But once I'm up and browsing... its hard to go back to sleep.



LOL. my sleep schedule has been messed up since Yom Tov.

I wake up at 9 ish when my son is already up (he plays in his crib only cries when he’s HANGRY or needs a diaper change)

In the late afternoon like 5-7pm I get sleepy after browsing or reading a book and I fall asleep and I sleep till 11-12 and then I wake up and I have a harder time falling asleep

Which reminds me I need to get more melatonin because I ran out
It helps BH
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lkwdlady




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 5:07 am
I’m reading this interesting story about your dh’s and fil’s background. Wow! That must be tough for your dh....

So when your fil was divorced from the giyores who went otd he met your mil and had a relationship with her or was he actually married to her? How was she able to hide that she wasn’t Jewish?
Where did your dh grow up? In his mother’s house?
Did your fil ever remarry?
So interesting that your dh wanted to convert since it doesn’t seem like people who were related to him were so nice...
I think he should write a book one day!
I hope you’re sleeping 😴 now!
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Surrendered




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 7:48 am
Id love to hear your full story- live, in person. It must be an amazing one!
We should plan a get together or a conference call... maybe with some IMAs who are interested in joining...
Would you?
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IsraeliSoul




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 9:48 am
Wow!
Here’s someone who’s my age, and sooo much older than me..

Thank you so much Hashem n farfel for sharing your life with us.
I hope to do something with my life too
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 9:59 am
Wow, what a story! Thanks for sharing.
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flowerpower




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 10:19 am
Wow! Very Interesting!

How is dh relationship with his mom? She’s Hungarian? Where does she live?
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IsraeliSoul




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Oct 21 2020, 11:11 am
So now I know why Hashem and why farfel, but what about the glove over there?
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