Wondering why they asked best friend?

amother

Sat, Jun 27 2020, 11:25 pm

Took my kids for a well visit.
Each nurse asked my kids who their best friend was. I thought it was to be friendly but then I noticed each one asked (not just the first) and they marked something down on the computer.

Curious what they're looking for with that question?

Kiwi13

Sat, Jun 27 2020, 11:28 pm

To my knowledge, those kinds of questions (who are your friends, what do you like to do, if you had three wishes, etc.) are meant to help gauge social/emotional wellness and red flag any glaring problems.

Edited to clarify: For example, with the question of "who's your best friend?" if the child names a friend who is several years younger or older, or names a pet, or says "I don't have friends," it can be telling.

Last edited by Kiwi13 on Sat, Jun 27 2020, 11:29 pm; edited 1 time in total

ShishKabob

Sat, Jun 27 2020, 11:28 pm

Sounds suspicious to me. Maybe they are doing a study and wanted to know if a parent or sibling or family member was the best friend.
Why didn't you ask them about it?

amother

Sat, Jun 27 2020, 11:30 pm

Kiwi13 wrote:

Thanks. First time they asked any such question so was confused.

amother

Oak

Sat, Jun 27 2020, 11:30 pm

Our pediatrician always asks this. We also bring him the children's report cards and he asks them about what they are learning inside and outside of school, who their friends are, how they like their teachers etc...

amother

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 12:22 am

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

Wow. Is that standard?

ExtraCredit

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 12:40 am

[quote="amother [ OP ]"]

Surplus wrote:

Contact tracing?[/quote

What?

I asked if you think it might be covid contact tracing related? That they start saving friend info in the computer? But it’s probably quite far fetched, so never mind. My pediatrician never asked my kids such a question. But if you found it interesting why didn’t you just ask them what’s the reason for it?

amother

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 12:44 am

Oh. No last names and no covid.
Idk why I didnt asj. I think I was just busy juggling the visit and thought abt it today on this long shabbos😊

myname1

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 3:13 am

My friend's mom (a pediatrician) always used to say a kid needs at least 1 good friend. I'd imagine they're screening for any sort of depression or other emotional/social issues, especially in these turbulent times. Kind of like the PPD screening they do after someone has a baby.

amother

Oak

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 7:54 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Wow. Is that standard?

Yes. I think nany people go to large clinics like Chemed, Refuah and Ezras Cholim where it may not be asked due to seeing multiple others. Other doctors in frum areas may simply be seeing too many children to have time, but yes, that is very standard for a pediatrician. There isn't anything wrong with a doctor NOT asking but it is still very normal to ask.

clowny

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 9:41 am

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

I find this very interesting. Does he require everyone to bring along report card at their well visit? I wonder what my children would say to that, I don’t think they would feel comfortable.
When I take my kids to a well visit, my pediatrician asks me if I have any concerns. He also asks how the kid is doing in school. If the kid is socially ok etc...
Why is that not enough?

amother

Amethyst

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 9:43 am

part of the whole obama instituted personal questionnaires required...cant stand them. even with good intentions to screen for issues I find it way too intrusive, ill conceived, ineffective, and contrived.

amother

Apricot

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 9:43 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It’s an indication of social-emotional functioning.

ExtraCredit

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 9:47 am

btw what if your kid doesn’t have a BEST FRIEND which is so normal in preschool or elementary. Many young kids are happy to be friends with everyone and feel no need for a BFF yet. I wouldn’t appreciate if my doc makes a note of it as a possible red flag when there’s no reason for it. Even asking this question might make a kid without a BFF uncomfortable.

rakcna

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 9:54 am

This is actually a standard question for a child well visit. It is meant to assess social emotional development. The reason it is phrased that way instead of "do you have any friends" is because it deals less in the abstract.

amother

Oak

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 9:57 am

clowny wrote:

It's not required but he encourages it. I want my children to feel comfortable talking to their pediatrcian about things they wouldn't discuss with DH or I. During every visit I also ask if they want to talk to the doctor privately about anything. My son asked for private time only once at 8 and that's fine with me. I want to foster that kind of safe zone.

amother

Papaya

Sun, Jun 28 2020, 10:04 am

Almost as strange as being asked what my highest degree of education I’ve gotten when I’m in labor about to give birth and ready to scream