Doona vent | Imamother

giselle

Mon, Jun 29 2020, 6:33 pm

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

Right after I had my baby, I walked into a room full of friends who said, "How come you didn't get the Doona, it's so your type!"
Well, how about I can't afford it, and I was so happy to get an amazing second hand carriage donation.
Why do people feel free to ask these questions?
I was perfectly fine until then, but at the moment, I was reminded of our situation.

I love the “it’s so your type” statements. They are so random. I get them all the time.

zoom

Mon, Jun 29 2020, 6:49 pm

haha I could have started this thread!
I never bought a doona for the same reasons.
when I lifted it up in the shop compared to the maxi cosi, it was So heavy! even without my baby in!

I cant fathom now shlepping a car seat in and out the car with my big strapping baby.
I love that I can just pick him up without the whole carseat.

at the beginning I would just take the whole carseat out on trips or clip it onto my buggy, but now I love it that my carseat stays in the car, and my buggy stays in the house. and when I take my baby out he goes from the buggy into the carseat, and vice versa. its way easier to collapse my one hand folding buggy then it is to lift a doona.
I struggled when my baby was tiny, just getting the maxi cosi in and out the car!

plus my buggy has storage and handlebars and is sooo comfortable.

I also got loooads of comments about the doona , before and after. people are crazy. or people just loove it too much to keep it to themselves.
but no one hsould be looked down upon for not having it!

mommy12

Mon, Jun 29 2020, 7:04 pm

We used a snap and go. It was great.

About ten years ago, we had to fly somewhere for a wedding. My friend lent us a Sit and Stroll, a car seat that turned into a stroller. We thought it would be so convenient but we ended up not liking it and were very happy to give it back after our trip.

The absolute best stroller we ever had actually was a Graco we got years ago at a thrift shop. It's really old and faded but it pushes better than any other stroller and I refuse to get rid of it.

21young

Mon, Jun 29 2020, 7:17 pm

This whole thread is ridiculous. I live in Lakewood, did not get a Doona with my last baby, bought it this time purely for the convenience. I never felt that people looked at me differently with my last baby. If you feel that people are looking down at you, it’s in your head. And it won’t end with the Doona. In a few years you’ll be here complaining that people look down at you because your upsherin wasn’t fancy enough. Work on your self confidence and suddenly all the people commenting and staring will disappear.

Blessing1

Mon, Jun 29 2020, 7:22 pm

21young wrote:

Excuse me, but your post isn't nice. Because you weren't subject to comments and stares, it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist and this thread is ridiculous and "it's on our heads". What's ridiculous is that people think it's ok to comment and we're allowed to vent about it. I've gotten plenty of comments and stares, don't tell me it's in my head. Other's commenting isn't "in your head".
It has nothing to do with self confidence, if I'd been lacking self confidence I wouldn't stroll around with a snap n go despite the comments and stares.

amother

Ruby

Tue, Jun 30 2020, 4:04 am

It is not in our heads. My last baby was before the doona craze but I get this experience. It surpasses any trend and is all based on how people around you act when you don't follow the trend for any reason. For my first I got a basic Graco type stroller. Travel system and so convenient to have the car seat click in. I live OOT so no one made comments where I live. Didn't even think it was so nerdy. Then I went to the fancy shul and got weird looks when I parked it. Ok fine, the people who go here are the kind to boast about how expensive something they bought was. Then I went to NY and NJ to visit relatives. My family was unremarkable about the stroller. They cared about the baby. When I walked on the street? Boy did I get stares! From all over! When I asked a friend I met up with if I had a giant stain on my back or something she said that it was probably because you have that stroller. She didn't make me feel bad, just said it isn't in style in that area and totally gets the convenience of mine. Especially for traveling. But when I walked home, same stares. Totally not in my head. I have great self confidence in my decisions like this. I was just confused about the herd mentality. That dozens of people at two different times stared. Because of the brand of stroller because I know I didn't grow a 3rd eyeball. But they equated the two.

amother

Tue, Jun 30 2020, 11:38 am

21young wrote:

I'm not sure how it can be 'in my head' if, like I wrote in my OP that friends and relatives all COMMENT on it. The stares are just besides the point. the actual things people have been saying to me...

frieda967

Tue, Jun 30 2020, 12:29 pm

Fact: Different carseats have different features for the buyer's needs.
Fact: Many (most?) people in Lakewood have entirely similar needs.
Do the math!

If you have different needs and choose a different carseat, makes sense to me! But what you are justifying is which need YOU have which is different than all the others with similar needs.

So.. you walk everywhere and dont need it to transfer in and out of the car? Why should u deal with the weight of the carseat?

or.. you are taller than most and find it to short? Makes sense

or whatever.

Don't take it personally, just understand what people are commenting on.

amother

Plum

Tue, Jun 30 2020, 12:41 pm

I have no horse in this race (mostly walk, wouldn't even consider a Doona as it's way above my budget and I'm perfectly happy to use whatever I have from my other kids) but I've watched the other mothers who send to my babysitter struggle and shlep their heavy Doonas in and out of their cars and up and down the steps, especially the shorter mothers. It does not look fun.

amother

Jade

Tue, Jun 30 2020, 12:42 pm

[quote="frieda967"]Fact: Different carseats have different features for the buyer's needs.
Fact: Many (most?) people in Lakewood have entirely similar needs.
Do the math!

If you have different needs and choose a different carseat, makes sense to me! But what you are justifying is which need YOU have which is different than all the others with similar needs.

So.. you walk everywhere and dont need it to transfer in and out of the car? Why should u deal with the weight of the carseat?

or.. you are taller than most and find it to short? Makes sense

or whatever.

Don't take it personally, just understand what people are commenting on.[/quote]

Whatever did the people of Lakewood do before the doona came out??? The attitude is, you can’t live with out it and it’s a necessity for everyone Especially in places like monsey and Lakewood. Let’s call a spade a spade. People survived just fine without it. It’s definitely convenient. I get it. But people DID manage just fine without it. That being said-if you choose to spend a lot of money on a mediocre car seat bec of convenience (and to be honest the trend) go right ahead! But please don’t look down on, criticize or comment on people who choose not to succumb. And that’s the point of this thread.
OP I am sorry you had that experience.
Signed,
A mom who uses her car daily and manages JUST FINE with her graco and who specifically didn’t get a doona bec I don’t like the baby’s position in it or the price tag for a fad. And I was able to afford it.

frieda967

Tue, Jun 30 2020, 12:52 pm

nchr wrote:

I think Doona is a subpar stroller and even worse car seat. It's also made for short babies and short parents, which is obviously a reason for many people to not buy one. I could list many more.

It definitely needs some upgrades!!
But to discount the whole concept because it's not perfect is ridiculous.

My point is, if the specific drawbacks don't work for you (it's weight, height, price, size, etc. etc.) feel free to wait for version 2.0
These drawbacks are not enough to make a typical Lakewood/Monsey lady say it's not worth it.
I can't speak for other places like E"Y or boro park. where it might be just a status symbol.

frieda967

Tue, Jun 30 2020, 12:54 pm

frieda967 wrote:

I also just want to give OP some clarity what people are wondering about

amother

Lilac

Tue, Jun 30 2020, 12:57 pm

frieda967 wrote:

Thank you. You are making a lot of sense.

It seems that just like to some its a "thing" to get a Doona, for others its a "thing" to bash the Donna, and go on about how unsafe/inconvenient/short/heavy/expensive it is, and how you would NEVER spend money on a silly fad like that.

Live and let live, ladies.

I do feel bad for OP and anyone who gets actual comments.

I wish we could all do what works, and not notice or care or comment on what anyone else does.

amother

Watermelon

Tue, Jun 30 2020, 12:58 pm

frieda967 wrote:

A typical Lakewood/Monsey person is just buying it because it comes recommended and her friends have it and/or it suits her needs and not because they have researched it and tried it out or find that it suits needs better than another option. Thats fine but it doesn't mean it really is the best stroller or car seat even for that community's needs. .

Last edited by amother on Fri, Feb 04 2022, 4:38 pm; edited 1 time in total

Ora in town

Tue, Jun 30 2020, 1:08 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm not saying I wouldn't' love it if I had gotten it. Just that when comparing, it just didn't make sense for me. It's just so frustrating that you are considered the biggest 'nerd' if you do not have one and every practically turns and stares when you walk by with your Graco/maxi cosi/Nuna etc.

I would take "nerd" as a compliment...
Means: more intelligent than average... does her own thing... can't be bothered with public opinion...
Perfect!