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Forum -> Parenting our children
Would you let you dd?



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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 30 2020, 3:14 pm
I just had a conversation with my friend, her daughter who’s bat mitvah really wants to read a book about childbirth, my friend doesn’t allow this. However she whines constantly about it. I don’t see any harm but that’s my secular background, so I’m asking you? Would you allow her to read books like “special delivery”? And why? I’m just so curious.
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Success10




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 30 2020, 3:17 pm
How detailed are these books? If they mention blood, severe pain, placentas falling out, heart rates dropping, epidurals, vaccums, cutting, tearing and screaming, then no.
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invisiblecircus




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 30 2020, 3:22 pm
I would. I read books like that at that age, but I'm from a secular background.
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observer




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 30 2020, 3:29 pm
I would not. They can be very graphic and a bit too much to handle at that age.

What I would do, though, is ask her what she is curious about, and invite her to ask me questions which I would then answer.
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Tue, Jun 30 2020, 3:30 pm
The answer is definitely NO !!!
At her age, she should be interested in other things , much more innocent .
"Et lechol zeman" .
Everything and it's age.
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hodeez




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 30 2020, 3:31 pm
I think the question is why is she so curious and bent on reading about childbirth? Maybe there is something underlying that should be explored
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 30 2020, 3:35 pm
hodeez wrote:
I think the question is why is she so curious and bent on reading about childbirth? Maybe there is something underlying that should be explored


She is the oldest of 7..she is mature and she has a dominant character I think she gets even more curious because it’s forbidden, she also wants to read “kallah” books which I found more logical for not reading at that age. I mean when the sitter puts the younger children in bed she is telling the sitter of by saying “they want me” and ofcourse the younger children are more attached to her, but then don’t want to sleep. So it’s her personality and the curiosity and puberty I think..
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 30 2020, 3:36 pm
I think because of being the oldest, and so on she is really wanting to look in “older” things. However she is still a child, in my secular upbringing I knew about birth, birth control and so on at that age. I’ve never experienced it as shocking.
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Frumme




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 30 2020, 3:44 pm
hodeez wrote:
I think the question is why is she so curious and bent on reading about childbirth? Maybe there is something underlying that should be explored


I personally don't think it's such a strange fascination. I think many girls her age are excited about the thought of having a baby. Especially if you see women around you going through pregnancy.
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Rappel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 30 2020, 3:51 pm
By bat mitzvah, I would hope my daughter would know the facts. Raised Bais Yaakov, btw, BT parents didn't tell me anything.

I'm not familiar with the book you listed, but better that she get all that information from reliable, factual sources, rather than the sensationalist literature which all teens seem to get their hands on, no matter how sheltered. (I borrowed a friend's romance novels one year in camp. For years, those overblown, dramatised descriptions were all I knew about relations or childbirth. )
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LovesHashem




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 30 2020, 3:52 pm
If it's forbidden and you just shut her out - she will want it more.
You should find age appropriate books on these topics. Google them. I'm sure there's books for preteens and teens that aren't too graphic.
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