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S/O Working in Group Homes on Shabbos



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mochamix18




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 06 2020, 10:52 am
I didn’t want to further derail the other thread about the young woman in a abusive situation. The following question was posed to me so I will elaborate.
Regarding the bolded, it sounds very intense. Can you explain what kind of hard physical labor you were allowed to do on shabbos?

At the particular group homes I worked at the residents needed to be showered 2x times a day, have diapers changed and be lifted in and out of wheelchairs, even on Shabbos. The showers were considered pikuach nefesh due to diapers and bed sores. These were not jobs pawned off on none Jewish workers, frum girls agreeing to work in these homes were required to do these jobs. Finally Daas Torah is always consulted but these organizations as to what their frum workers are not just allowed to do for the residents on shabbos but REQUIRED due to pikuach nefesh. In addition you are dealing with adults who can be violent when they don’t mean to be, cleaning up bodily messes they can’t help making and serving the meals not necessarily eating with them. A person who does not feel comfortable with doing these jobs on Shabbos should not work in one of these group homes. I found the experience very rewarding, but a young woman from any frum background should consider all of the above before accepting one of these jobs. As one others poster stated 98% of these homes are not super high functioning, it is not a relaxing feel good walk in the park and there are not just non Jewish workers to do everything for you.


Last edited by mochamix18 on Mon, Jul 06 2020, 10:58 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Lemon


 

Post Mon, Jul 06 2020, 10:57 am
Kol hakavod and Tizku li'mitzvot for working there.
It is most certainly not easy and takes a very special person.
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amother
Silver


 

Post Mon, Jul 06 2020, 11:06 am
My experience was very different than yours. I worked in a few different houses and experienced different things based on the house.
In one residence the individuals were very high functioning, were not in a wheelchair, were toilet trained, went to shul, set the table, helped serve the meal, cleaned up after the meal, took long naps, read books, played games, and just chilled.
In another residence, the group was mixed with some high functioning and some lower functioning and some in wheelchairs. The individuals who were higher functioning did everything I mentioned above while there were non-Jewish counselors taking care of the lower functioning individuals who were in wheelchairs and needed more involved care.
Another residence only had a married couple living there, they went to shul and did almost everything on their own (I had to put hot food on the plate but they served and cleaned up on their own) so it was basically just glorified babysitting.
And the kids residence was actually the hardest one I worked at as it was the most involved and you had to take care of them the entire time. Diapering, feeding, playing, taking to park or for a walk, etc. And dealing with their tantrums. So that was the hardest house for me and I didnt do it for long because it was overwhelming. The girls who do it in the kids residence over a 3 day holiday are angels.
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mochamix18




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 06 2020, 11:15 am
amother [ Silver ] wrote:
My experience was very different than yours. I worked in a few different houses and experienced different things based on the house.
In one residence the individuals were very high functioning, were not in a wheelchair, were toilet trained, went to shul, set the table, helped serve the meal, cleaned up after the meal, took long naps, read books, played games, and just chilled.
In another residence, the group was mixed with some high functioning and some lower functioning and some in wheelchairs. The individuals who were higher functioning did everything I mentioned above while there were non-Jewish counselors taking care of the lower functioning individuals who were in wheelchairs and needed more involved care.
Another residence only had a married couple living there, they went to shul and did almost everything on their own (I had to put hot food on the plate but they served and cleaned up on their own) so it was basically just glorified babysitting.
And the kids residence was actually the hardest one I worked at as it was the most involved and you had to take care of them the entire time. Diapering, feeding, playing, taking to park or for a walk, etc. And dealing with their tantrums. So that was the hardest house for me and I didnt do it for long because it was overwhelming. The girls who do it in the kids residence over a 3 day holiday are angels.


I’m not saying those homes don’t exist and I definitely don’t want to take away from the wonderful work you did. I personally think anyone choosing to do this work is amazing. My point was from my experience, these are not the majority of jobs available so I wouldn’t want someone to think “oh I will just be a shabbos counselor and make some easy money”. Btw, I don’t consider myself an angel, but your last paragraph, that was me, but with adults.
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amother
Silver


 

Post Mon, Jul 06 2020, 11:21 am
mochamix18 wrote:


I’m not saying those homes don’t exist and I definitely don’t want to take away from the wonderful work you did. I personally think anyone choosing to do this work is amazing. My point was from my experience, these are not the majority of jobs available so I wouldn’t want someone to think “oh I will just be a shabbos counselor and make some easy money”. Btw, I don’t consider myself an angel, but your last paragraph, that was me, but with adults.

I guess it also depends on your personality and life experience. I come from a big family and have siblings with disabilities so working at these residences was second nature to me. In fact, this was the best job I had in my lifetime and would do it again in a heartbeat if I can.
Other people come from smaller families and have no experience dealing with people with disabilities so its harder for them to deal with the stresses of the residences. Not everyone who works there is qualified but sometimes the agencies dont have a choice so they have to take whoever is willing to work there and it shows because there is neglect and abuse which is sad. But those that really care and do the work are amazing.
Some of the agencies though treat their employees like they are disposable and the good ones dont stay long. I wonder if there was a way to start a union to ensure that the rights of the employees are not violated.
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