Just venting: What is so hard about following the rules??

RuralIma

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 1:45 pm

This is just me venting.
My husband and I have been social distancing since everything started, I haven't been anywhere since Purim. He still went into the office but most everyone else started working from home, it was just him and 2 other people with loud, small children going in with plenty of room for social distancing. He also does grocery shopping but only once every two weeks with a mask, he would come home and wash his hands, change his clothes, we have been very careful.

Then our city started opening, the majority of people continued to work from home, but a couple of people came back to the office, still less than 5 people in the entire building, social distancing and masks. The manager started taking temps at the beginning of the day, etc.

The past couple of weeks his co-workers have been going out a lot to crowded places. "We went to the lake, it was crowded but we found a spot" Can't Believe It

So we agreed that avoiding them in the office was a good idea, not that he was going up to schmooze with anyone anyway but just being extra careful. Then yesterday, a co-worker was talking about a 4th of July party she went to and when her temp was taken she had a fever and mentioned she also had been having body aches. Banging head

So she went home for the day and took her stuff to work from home.

Then I found out from my husband that temps weren't being taken at the door, but after everyone was already in the building 🤯 and the person with the fever was in and out several times grabbing stuff, walking around the office instead of someone just bringing her equipment to the door. Because why use logic when the virus is just a conspiracy and is completely gone?

He also found out yesterday when he talked to her on the phone that in addition to going all over the place and not social distancing anymore she's been spending a lot of time with her daughter whose roommate just tested positive!

We don't live in an area that had a large number of cases in the beginning but is having a large spike now, in the days prior to people going to lakes and parties the headlines were all about the hundreds of new cases in our area. What is so hard about following the rules??

We don't live in an area that has tiny apartments. Almost every apartment complex in this area has a decent view, there are tons of places around here for people to be able to safely go out hiking/walking, etc without running into another human if people are going stir crazy. There are even places for people to go swimming without being around a bunch of other people. Options are out there!

His co-workers excuses were, "well if no one else is following the rules, why should I?" "No one cares anymore." "It's good that cases are spiking, we never should have shut down in the first place." - says the person with zero scientific background. Can't Believe It

"I'm bored."
Because it's not all about you! Because regardless of what "everyone else" is doing you should have integrity and use your brain! Spike in cases should mean, hey let's be safe not hey let's go have a flippin party. Punch

So now my husband has taken over our son's playroom/classroom so he can work from home and we're completely self-quarantining because going to parties is more important than following the rules.

Granted we were going to quarantine for two weeks before our son's birthday anyway, simply out of my paranoia about having my dad come up. He lives in an area that has had zero cases (middle of nowhere, tiny population, they completely shut down to outsiders and were super strict about masks, etc) so we didn't want to potentially cause cases to get to his area, especially since they're spiking here. He could get here and back without having to gas up in between, he was just going to gas up in his town, come here and hang out outside with masks and social distancing and then go home without getting out of his car again. But that's completely besides the point and now I don't even know if he'll be able to come up.

This is so frustrating. I get it, it sucks being home. It sucks not seeing people. It sucks trying to keep little minds occupied. Masks are hot and uncomfortable, blah, blah, blah. But you know what also sucks? Being hospitalized in a country that has a not-so-great healthcare system, where people literally have to choose whether or not it's worth the debt. Infecting other people sucks. Not giving a fig about the lives you're potentially endangering just because you're bored sucks. *screams like a banshee into the abyss*

Okay. I'm done.

amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 1:50 pm

Exactly!!!!
Thank you for taking the time to write it up.

flowerpower

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 1:50 pm

Where do you live that you are still social distancing? Whoever I know is out and about. With masks, without masks... but they’re out. When do you plan on starting to get out??

RuralIma

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 1:57 pm

flowerpower wrote:

Where do you live that you are still social distancing? Whoever I know is out and about. With masks, without masks... but they’re out. When do you plan on starting to get out??

In a state where I know lots of people who work with the CDC and they say to still take precautions. We didn't have a huge large number of cases back in March/April but now we're one of the states getting beat up by the virus now.

ETA: shuls here aren't even open yet or planning to open before the fall.

Last edited by RuralIma on Wed, Jul 08 2020, 1:59 pm; edited 1 time in total

southernbubby

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 1:58 pm

flowerpower wrote:

Where do you live that you are still social distancing? Whoever I know is out and about. With masks, without masks... but they’re out. When do you plan on starting to get out??

Anyone who lives in Arizona should hide under the bed.

icedcoffee

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 1:58 pm

I'm with you. My community is still SD. Shuls just began to open very very slowly - max 15 allowed, must register in advance and get a confirmation email, wear a mask the entire time, stand apart, etc. I've seen my parents once since February. Haven't hung out with friends since Purim, except one time I stood on someone's sidewalk and yelled up to them from their second floor window. I know others are in more difficult situations than I am, and I sympathize with the people in a 1 bedroom apartment with 5 kids and no green space, but at the same time, I can't understand the staggering amounts of whining and complaining that goes along with wearing a little strip of fabric over your mouth when you go to the grocery store.

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 2:02 pm

RuralIma wrote:

You might want to refer to old threads from April when the majority of posters were in your shoes. For those of us a few months later it’s hard to relate.

amother

Blonde

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 2:16 pm

You can't control the world and you can barely control this virus. The only thing you can somewhat control is how much exposure your own family will have to the world. If you want absolutely no risk (or minimal risk), your dh is just going to have to work from home.

PinkFridge

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 2:28 pm

amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:

You might want to refer to old threads from April when the majority of posters were in your shoes. For those of us a few months later it’s hard to relate.

And if we knew then what we know now?

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 3:28 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

And if we knew then what we know now?

My family was 1000% locked in in April so I’m not sure what answer you’re expecting.
But in hindsight I WISH we’d lock in a month earlier and be able to prevent so many tragic painful deaths Crying

But Hashem obviously didn’t want that to happen so we keep doing our hishtadlus according to the situation.

amother

Orchid

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 3:51 pm

Unfortunately a lot when credibility is undermined due to mixed messages and politicized double standards.

RuralIma

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 3:54 pm

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

Of course! I'm generally very much a live and let live kind of person but this just got under my skin. We've been trying to minimize our risk as much as possible the last few months and then it all feels like it was for nothing haha. He is working from home now and says he loves it and probably won't be going back to the office.

PinkFridge

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 3:55 pm

amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:

But Hashem obviously didn’t want that to happen so we keep doing our hishtadlus according to the situation.

Yes. So I would think that the states that started later would be taking it so much more seriously.

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 4:13 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Yes. So I would think that the states that started later would be taking it so much more seriously.

Agree!

amother

Fuchsia

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 4:24 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Yes. So I would think that the states that started later would be taking it so much more seriously.

But some of those are "red" states. Mask-wearing and compliance with authority in general seems to go along partisan lines.

amother

Red

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 4:28 pm

I think it's complicated with the later states. They weren't mobbed by cases like NY, NJ, etc. But they still got shut down. In NY and NJ, after months of being home, we are starting to open up, right at the time that people really need to get out. But even though the later states are getting their spike now, they have still been home since March. So they have the same cabin fever as those who are able to open up. It's hard to judge what we would do in their shoes.

amother

Mustard

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 4:30 pm

amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:

But some of those are "red" states. Mask-wearing and compliance with authority in general seems to go along partisan lines.

Here in Ohio, our Republican governor has been taking this seriously from the beginning. And he is very popular with Ohioans. At one point, he literally had the highest approval rating of all 50 governors.
Unfortunately, his own party has been undermining him at every turn.

Mama Bear

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 5:59 pm

I think we were lucky in NY that our peak was during actual lockdown. I feel bad for the states that are having the spike now during the roeopening, bc it's so difficult to keep the precautions now as strictly as we did in march, bc it's been such a long time!

RuralIma

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 6:09 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

My husband said it feels like we're in The Twilight Zone. Sad

amother

Violet

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 6:59 pm

It's not that following the rules are hard...in theory. It's the fact that we've been doing it for months, effectively killing our business, living off of dwindling savings, dealing with kids who are either academically stressed or not stimulated at all (I've got both), and who are socially suffering and also anxious, paying tuition while also trying to buy all sorts of things to entertain said kids, while trying to work from home and cook and clean and keep home.

For a virus that has a 99.85% survival rate for most of the population.

For a virus that somehow won't affect you or spread if you're out for the right reasons.

Forgive me for not buying it.

So it's not that it's so hard to keep the rules. It's that I think the rules are politically driven and wrong.

(As an aside my 6 year old has a heart condition that may soon require surgery and her cardiologist is still totally fine with her going to school/camp, unmasked).