DD (10) CANNOT deal with change

amother

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 2:14 pm

How do I help DD deal with change in her life which is inevitable? She specifically has a really difficult time with environmental/physical changes so if anything in my house breaks and needs replacing, she freaks out. Examples would be linen, furniture, her seat at the table or layout of her room, etc.
I can’t go through life keeping everything exactly the same (or replacing with the exact same thing) but she will seriously be in a bad mood and/or refuse to use whatever new item I’ve purchased, for WEEKS on end!
Anyone ever successfully dealt with something like this?

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 2:19 pm

Is she on the spectrum of autism? I have this with my kid but bh not that bad. He needs to get the same shoes every year, same pants, similar style shirts, refuses to wear short sleeves in the summer...does it help to talk about the changes before? What have you already tried? What worked and what didn't?

Just reread your post. Is she involved or do you spring things on her?

amother

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 2:40 pm

She hasn’t been diagnosed as on the spectrum although she has been diagnosed with anxiety (and my guess is this is related).
Nothing we’ve tried really worked, aside from just being patient until it blows over (because eventually, it does).
Involving her in advance is theoretically a good idea but ends up prolonging the process (because she’s upset for weeks before too). She also won’t ever agree to anything aside from buying “the exact same thing” which is not always possible (if we do replace with the exact same thing, she’s fine). Her other idea, when we bring it up (ie something breaking and needing to be replaced) is suggesting we do it “next year” which is usually not a realistic solution.

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Jul 08 2020, 2:51 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Can she give you a list of agreed things? (Navy skirts, solid color tees etc..things She is comfortable with?) Also sometimes it just means she misses out...once he gets an idea in hos head that he doesn't like a certain food...

Did you ever try OT or psychotherapy?

I have a sister like this and she turned out really fine btw. Hang in there.