S/O What's a mashpia?

amother

Blue

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 10:15 am

Also, I'm not sure if this is advised, but some people will use a variety of mashpim. Like a shlucha will have fellow shlucha she looks up to to guide her on shlichus related issues but may speak to someone else when it comes to chinuch.

mo5

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 10:16 am

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

It sounds like a fine system for some, but really dangerous for the most fragile people. If you have very little self-confidence, a domineering mashpia can totally crush you, all in the name of religion.

You’re probably right, it’s like any other relationship in which a fragile person can be easily taken advantage of. No one is forced to have a mashpia, and no one organizes anyone else to have one.

amother

cornflower

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 10:19 am

Interesting! Rabbi Niven (not Lubavitch) also talks a lot about finding yourself a mentor to help you keep objective, uncover your blind spots, and aid in Toradik personal growth.

ShishKabob

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 12:15 pm

amother [ cornflower ] wrote:

Interesting! Rabbi Niven (not Lubavitch) also talks a lot about finding yourself a mentor to help you keep objective, uncover your blind spots, and aid in Toradik personal growth.

I think it s terrific to have a mentor to discuss things with, while keeping an open mind and knowing the mentor is only human and may make mistakes or will not give you all the time 100% effective advice. So, you have a few people to discuss things with like that you cover your bases.

BH Yom Yom

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 12:43 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

This. Plus healthy boundaries are a must, as is being yourself and remembering to distinguish between emulating a mentor vs. trying to contort yourself into the mentor’s image (common with BT’s IME - was very painful for me to have to go through redefining myself as my own person, not as a reflection of my mentor).