Is it not 'right' for me to take off so long?

amother

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 11:26 am

I'm due IyH in a month with my 4th. I've always took an 8 week maternity leave and am totally not ready to come back before that.

I am an office manager so me being out leaves the office in a bit of 'trouble' as well as the boss needing to fill my place while I'm out. I gave long enough notice to my boss (5 months) and kept asking him what his plan was but he was totally in denial and just said 'we'll worry about it closer' . so, closer is here and there is no plan and everyone is freaking out that I'll be out. At this point I plan on taking 10 weeks just because now is my chance to recuperate properly etc.

my boss is very upset that I'll be out so long and told me really 6 weeks is the standard maternity (everyone I know takes 8 week!)

DH is feeling bad for my boss and says I should just go back after 8 weeks. since I was hired for this position and its really my responsibility etc.

is there something right or wrong about taking off longer for my health and sanity?

studying_torah

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 11:31 am

What is this nonsense of ppl who are not you- the person pregnant & giving birth, trying to guilt you into going back early?! Rest, recover and go back to work when you can.

ShishKabob

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 11:44 am

I would say that your health and sound mind come first, hands down.
However, in this situation, I would reevaluate after 6-8 weeks and see how I feel. Maybe you'll have a super effective recovery that'll simply take faster.
Bshaa Tova and lots of Hatzlocha and Brocha and an easy recovery!

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 12:18 pm

I'm an office manager as well, I took 8 weeks of disability because of a C section, plus 10 weeks of Paid Family Leave and 2 remaining weeks of FMLA. Total of 20 weeks.

My boss did not complain, I trained someone beforehand and she did most of the stuff for me and the items she could not do I made sure to give my boss detailed information on how to handle what was upcoming.

ShishKabob

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 12:20 pm

zaq wrote:

You did your part by informing your employer well in advance nd reminding him periodically That he dragged his feet is his problem, not yours.

What you're saying is true, however, in reality it's not so realistic to get a sub for these types of things and to train them in so fast. She didn't get to this level of office manager in five months. I think a smarter thing would be to train someone that currently works there and see if they can step up to the plate.

amother

Jade

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 12:25 pm

SuperWify wrote:

Legally in NJ you have 12 weeks. They can’t make you come back beforehand.

It depends on the size of the company.
Small companies aren’t bound to it. (Under 50 employees)

amother

Cobalt

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 12:35 pm

You’re allowed to take off so much but is it smart? We seem to be heading into a recession. I was laid off last week because of covid-related revenue losses at my work, and the job market doesn’t look great. I don’t understand why you want to take 10 weeks if you’ve always taken 8, unless something is different about this pregnancy. If your boss feels taken advantage of, then down the road if he ch’v has to make cuts you might be one of them, ch’v.

challahchallah

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 12:40 pm

amother [ Jade ] wrote:

It depends on the size of the company.
Small companies aren’t bound to it. (Under 50 employees)

It also depends on the state. Companies with under 50 employees aren’t covered by the federal law (FMLA), but some states have more stringent rules. To stick with the example given, in NJ companies only need 30 employees as of last year. OP should look into her own location, as some cities have their own mandates as well.

amother

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 12:59 pm

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

lol. I'd be the last one to go! I run the entire company. not to sound like a big shot but he doesn't even know what to do when I'm out for one day.

amother

Peach

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 1:01 pm

I can't imagine going back so early. I'm currently 5weeks pp. But I get 3 months maternity leave bh bh. Op I'm also office manager. Telling my boss way in advance with nobody taking over either. But I plan to take a nurse for 3times half a day and go in from about 7 weeks. But I had bh an easy birth and I have a night nurse. ... GL

moonstone

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 1:04 pm

zaq wrote:

You did your part by informing your employer well in advance nd reminding him periodically That he dragged his feet is his problem, not yours.

Yes, your DH should care more about your needs than those of your silly boss who chose to be in denial and not make a plan for your absence!

amother

Honeydew

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 1:10 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

lol. I'd be the last one to go! I run the entire company. not to sound like a big shot but he doesn't even know what to do when I'm out for one day.

Everyone is replacable.

-a recruiter that has seen people like you lose their positions.
Ask your boss how you can make it work for him. Be humble.

DVOM

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 1:26 pm

I have always taken the absolute maximum amount of time I can after I have a baby. Tough luck on my job. I trust in my value. They're not going to fire me. And if they do, I'll take my skills and expertise elsewhere.

amother

Honeydew

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 1:29 pm

DVOM wrote:

The bolded is the right mindset.

amother

Vermilion

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 1:40 pm

When I had my first, my boss told me I'm expected back in the office within 6 weeks. He told me if I'm ready earlier, I should work from home and he'll pay me for the hours. I thought it was ridiculous that he even suggested it. I ended up going back to work 7 weeks after birth, and he was okay with it.

Many years later, I'm now pregnant with my second, working under another boss. She was back to work 4 weeks after childbirth. I know she expects me to take the standard 6 weeks, but I'd love to take 8, as this is a very hard pregnancy and I also feel like maybe I rushed back too fast last time. I am playing it by ear though, we shall see. Man plans and God laughs.

amother

Lime

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 1:56 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Are you in NY or Nj?

Standard is no longer 6 weeks.
You get paid PFL for 10 weeks now and FMLA for 12 weeks.

amother

Lime

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 1:57 pm

amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:

If your in NY NJ standard is not 6 weeks anymore..