S/o Nervous to send ds to Israel

amother

Wed, Jul 15 2020, 8:11 am

While we wait for official conformation and a date that the yeshiva program will open and they can go, we are making alternative plans just in case. And those plans are looking better to me each day as things escalate in Israel, especially around the schools. If I wouldn't go to Florida, why am I sending my kid to Israel while there is a spike? I know that it may be over in a month, but maybe not.

And then if there is another wave later on, they are far from their regular doctors and could end up stuck without us in a medical system run in a language they don't understand, in a system in which you need a family member there to advocate for you. And as much as we might want to go help, they might not let us in, or we have to quarantine somewhere for 2 weeks while our kid is in the hospital.

I'm scared. Ds is getting nervous too. He's conflicted because he knows if he doesn't go now, he doesn't know if he will go at all. And mostly he just wants final plans, and if he goes straight to college, he has them (even if it's online.) But he doesn't want to lose this opportunity. Dh is gung ho on Israel, saying that if both the US and Israel lock down, in Israel he will be with friends and a minyan and still be able to learn and hang out with people. Our rav is not making these decisions for people or even really advising because it's such a personal decision, which I agree with.

Sigh.

amother

Wine

Wed, Jul 15 2020, 8:20 am

If your son is going to a yeshiva that has staff on hand and has been preparing for next year, he'll be fine.

First of all, it's pretty rare for teenagers to become ill, even if they do get infected. Second, Israel has plenty of English speaking doctors and the yeshiva will send someone to be with him, in the very remote possibility that he needs to be hospitalized. And third, it's a lot better to be stuck in Israel than anyplace else in the world. I would definitely send him.

If the yeshiva is a large place and doesn't have a staff member dedicated to supporting kids from overseas, this doesn't apply.

amother

Wed, Jul 15 2020, 8:47 am

They definitely have supportive staff. But I'm still nervous, as is ds. He doesn't want to be stuck with the same 15 guys and whatever staff member is assigned when they capsule them off. He's nervous about learning in a beis medrash full of plastic. And mostly, he (and me too!) is nervous about being a country away from his family during a pandemic. The program can do a lot of things, but it can't guarantee that he can go home if he wants to or if there is a reason to in either country, if Israel stops flights.

amother

Wine

Wed, Jul 15 2020, 9:02 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

a

You're right, no one can guarantee anything. Can you guarantee that he'll do well emotionally while stuck in his room, taking classes on Zoom and not seeing anyone at all? Either way, you're just going to have to take a risk.

nechamad

Wed, Jul 15 2020, 12:11 pm

I agree with you, OP. I also am concerned that the experience will be so diminished - my son’s Yeshiva is talking about zoom shiurim, no leaving campus, also capsules- that it doesn’t make sense to send him so far away, particularly during a pandemic.
Would you PM me?

chanchy123

Wed, Jul 15 2020, 1:23 pm

I live in Israel, I am very pro Israel usually. I think your concerns are very valid. I don’t think your son will be in any more danger here than at home, but I do think it very likely may not be a positive experience. Just knowing that if something were to happen on either end you can’t just hop on a plane is very concerning, not to mention that the experience of a year in Israel will not be the same as every year. There will be learning and minyan but that’s just about it. I don’t know if I’d suggest not sending to everyone across the board but if you’re already both having reservations I’d follow your gut.

amother

Lavender

Wed, Jul 15 2020, 1:39 pm

I live in Israel. Israel is great

I would not send my child to another country in middle of a pandemic.

Being hospitalized in a foreign country is really traumatic for a child and I wouldn't want to be in a different country than my kid right now.

Anyways, I would be surprised if that even happens. Israel is a mess right now

amother

Wine

Wed, Jul 15 2020, 1:56 pm

newcomer wrote:

You probably should have a back up plan. I sort of doubt the country is going to allow foreign students in just one month. I'm predicting after Sukkos, at the earliest. What are his peers planning to do this fall?

My hunch is that if Israel doesn't let students in for Elul, there's no chance of their being allowed in after the chagim. Once you get into the fall, it's flu and cold season. Just about everyone has a fever or cough at some point. Getting into the country will be almost impossible.

It's nerve wracking not knowing what will happen, but it's impossible to make predictions now. Yeshivas and seminaries are planning for full opening, with quarantine facilities and capsule groups, but everything is up in the air. Maybe foreign students won't be allowed in, maybe none of these precautions will be necessary in two months, no one knows.

amother

Wed, Jul 15 2020, 2:36 pm

We have a backup plan. It starts in late August, before we were told to possibly plan for the Israel program starting. Right now, we are pursuing both, but he's getting tired of the limbo. It's crazy-making to be registering for college classes and being put on class websites and sent syllabuses, while talking about visas and flights, etc. He's got two different sets of guys, with people he knows in each, and he doesn't know who to gravitate to- he feels like he doesn't belong in either place.

And he (and the rest of us) is tired of uncertainty in general. After the last few months of his senior year, and the craziness of AP's, and not knowing what his graduation would be until a week or two before, he just wants to know already. And that's a big advantage of staying here- he may not know what college will look like, but he knows he gets to go.

chanchy123

Wed, Jul 15 2020, 2:40 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Would it be possible to take a year off during college, once hopefully things settle down, for an Israel learning experience? Maybe it’s best to go with the sort of known now but keep the Israel option for later.

amother

Hotpink

Wed, Jul 15 2020, 3:07 pm

If your son is in a yeshiva that is seriously planning, it will be very well monitored.
He will end up building relationships, learning Torah, and growing spiritually.
If he can get into Israel dont deprive him of what could be an amazing experience.
The Israeli medical system is tops and English speaking doctors are common.
The students who ended up staying this past year after Purim had extremely positive life changing experiences .
Sometimes you need to give over your control for good things

amother

Vermilion

Wed, Jul 15 2020, 5:41 pm

I also heard that the boys who stayed after Purim had a positive experience; however, I think it is different to be in Yeshiva for several months, make friends, develop relationships with rabbaim, get adjusted, and then decide to stay vs. first starting in this situation.

giselle

Wed, Jul 15 2020, 5:56 pm

This is such a difficult decision to make. I don’t know what I would do.. I think if my child really wanted to go, I might try to see if I can make it work, but if he himself is also nervous, I’d probably take advantage of that and not send him.

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Jul 15 2020, 7:59 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Doubt flights will ever stop completely. So far united has had at least a flight daily (now others are flying too)

amother

Blonde

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 2:03 am

Your mother's instinct is advising you to keep him in this country. Please listen to it. You really do have to consider that your ds could get it, cv"s. Medical care here is good in most places and most importantly, YOU can be with him.
Kids don't have the perspective you do. I wouldnt send.

etky

Thu, Jul 16 2020, 3:26 am

chanchy123 wrote:

I totally agree. The inability to hop on a plane in an emergency would be a deal breaker for me.