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Do you cry easily?
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Do you cry easily?
YES!! At the drop of a hat  
 15%  [ 32 ]
Somewhat easily, such as when reading a touching story or hearing a moving song  
 33%  [ 69 ]
Occasionally, if I'm hormonal or more stressed than normal  
 34%  [ 72 ]
Nah. It would take a major tragedy to get me to cry.  
 11%  [ 24 ]
Other - I'm sure I'm leaving out alternate answers, so feel free to add in your post  
 5%  [ 12 ]
Total Votes : 209



amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jul 16 2020, 11:15 pm
I'm an HSP and curious about how other women manage the urge to cry. How do you avoid tears when it's inappropriate or unprofessional to let them flow?

If you don't cry easily, do you ever feel like you should try to make yourself cry on Tisha B'Av?
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Thu, Jul 16 2020, 11:20 pm
Voted YES!! At the drop of a hat
I work really hard not to let my brain go there when it’s not appropriate and surprisingly enough I can actually find myself not being able to cry on tisha baav. go figure.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jul 16 2020, 11:35 pm
Right? Why is it that I can cry easily over stupid stuff and then during levayas, Tisha B'Av, the tears don't come?
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Elfrida




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 16 2020, 11:52 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Right? Why is it that I can cry easily over stupid stuff and then during levayas, Tisha B'Av, the tears don't come?


Emotions versus intellect.

Tisha b'Av is a national day of mourning, but is your awareness of that intellectual, or are you really able to emotionally feel the agony and loss in involved in Churban HaBayit? It's a difficult passage, from our minds to our hearts...
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amother
Gray


 

Post Thu, Jul 16 2020, 11:58 pm
I cry a moderate amount at happy or sad stories. I cry at the drop of a hat when my feelings are hurt. I wish I could stop that. It was embarrassing as a kid and is even worse as an adult.
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amother
Teal


 

Post Fri, Jul 17 2020, 12:09 am
Great topic, OP!

My therapist and I actually just discussed my crying habits this week. I cry when something triggers deep shame in me, like when I mess up at work. And then I don’t stop crying for several hours.

Got into a very minor car accident last week - my car was not at all damaged, and the other guy’s car had a few scratches. I promptly burst into tears and didn’t stop sobbing until several hours later. The guy whose car I’d scratched was annoyed with me until he saw the state I was in, at the which point he switched over to feeling bad for me. I overheard him rolling his eyes at the cop, all “women, what can you do” which so upset me, because I hate validating misogyny.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Jul 17 2020, 12:14 am
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
I cry at the drop of a hat when my feelings are hurt. I wish I could stop that. It was embarrassing as a kid and is even worse as an adult.


Same here, especially as a kid. I had to train myself not to cry when I was quite young, and eventually learned how to sublimate any fear/ sadness/ shame/ hurt/ tears into anger because it felt safer and “stronger” - but now after years in therapy I feel other feelings more intensely and immediately instead of defaulting to anger. I know it’s healthier in some ways but it feels a lot more vulnerable.
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silverlining3




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 17 2020, 12:43 am
I'm a very emotional person. I don't CRY so often but get emotional very quick. In front of people, my eyes well up easily rather that actually cry. Or I get that lump in my throat.
But moving stories, whether listening over the phone or reading, I many times stop to get to myself, wipe away tears, and then listen or read further.
At levayas, for a close relative I am able to cry. Tisha b'av, depending on a year.

Many threads on this forum get my emotions up. Not because I relate, just I get emotional lol
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Jul 17 2020, 12:56 am
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
Great topic, OP!

My therapist and I actually just discussed my crying habits this week. I cry when something triggers deep shame in me, like when I mess up at work. And then I don’t stop crying for several hours.

Got into a very minor car accident last week - my car was completely up damaged, and the other guy’s car had a few scratches. I promptly burst into tears and didn’t stop sobbing until several hours later. The guy whose car I’d scratched was annoyed with me until he saw the state I was in, at the which point he switched over to feeling bad for me. I overheard him rolling his eyes at the cop, all “women, what can you do” which so upset me, because I hate validating misogyny.


I relate to this a lot. When I feel hurt, rejection, shame, guilt (even for a stupid or minor error), or when people are harsh towards me or yell at me, it’s hard not to cry. Or if I get criticized or dismissed.

I feel like I cry more easily in therapy which I guess makes sense.

Amother teal, I am so sorry to hear about the car accident. I hope you are OK and that things work out with getting a replacement car or getting this one fixed. Hugs.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Fri, Jul 17 2020, 1:00 am
On this topic, any more advice about how to stop yourself from crying when it would be embarrassing or unprofessional?
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Fri, Jul 17 2020, 2:29 am
amother [ Pearl ] wrote:
On this topic, any more advice about how to stop yourself from crying when it would be embarrassing or unprofessional?


Interesting question. I once noticed that my therapist was on the verge of tears, though I don't remember the context of the discussion now. I don't know if it was her empathy for me, or it reminded her of something important to her. Either way she remained in control of the tears, and her attention remained focused on me. I don't know how she remained in control. Maybe practice, maybe professional discipline. I respected her for it, but didn't ask any questions.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Fri, Jul 17 2020, 2:45 am
I'm an HSP, but I also have worked on myself with different therapies for the longest time.
I am also very intellectual when an crisis comes up. My husband is always shocked when he sees that if he drops a plate I will burst into tears, but when he broke the oven door (and we needed to buy a brand new oven) I sat down with a calculator to figure out how we're going to finance it.
I know how to smile instead of cry, sometimes. You stick on a huge smile that makes you look thrilled at the world, and concentrate on the physical work of keeping the smile on, the muscles in just the right place.
I hate when something happens and tears come up. I feel like a baby. I'm pregnant now so it's even worse.
I usually have no problem crying on tisha b'av. I can't cry on rosh hashana, though.
Tisha b'av you just read the midrashim. Read about the mother cooking her child, with such love and tenderness, and sitting down, all alone, at the table with a place and a piece of meat...Okay, I won't continue cuz I'll cry.
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Success10




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 17 2020, 2:53 am
I'm an emotional person, but I rarely cry. And if one of those rare times is an inconvenient time, I hide it, or bottle it up until later.
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amother
Green


 

Post Fri, Jul 17 2020, 8:47 am
OMG I'm a total sap. I cry at movies with sad endings, movies with happy endings, touching stories, videos of the American or Israeli flags waving smartly in the breeze, weddings, funerals, graduations, commercials for the phone company, pictures of sad-looking people, and meaningless scenes accompanied by sad or stirring music. Just hearing the opening strains of 'land of hope and glory' gets my eyes damp and nose running.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Fri, Jul 17 2020, 9:41 am
Being a HSP does not mean there’s something wrong with you! It’s a personality, not a disorder. You don’t need to change yourself ❤️
The same way people who share your personality are more likely to get overwhelmed by a lot of things, some people just don’t. They didn’t work on themselves or go to therapy or anything because there’s no need.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 17 2020, 9:43 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'm an HSP and curious about how other women manage the urge to cry. How do you avoid tears when it's inappropriate or unprofessional to let them flow?

If you don't cry easily, do you ever feel like you should try to make yourself cry on Tisha B'Av?

I am HSP and I don’t cry easily. In a major tragedy I am least likely to cry. I am more likely to cry when I’m frustrated and overwhelmed.
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amother
Beige


 

Post Fri, Jul 17 2020, 9:49 am
Normally I don't, but for the last week or 2 I've been waking up during the night crying. The first time it happened, I assumed I had a sad dream, but lately, I spent a few hours a night crying without really knowing why. During the day, I'm fine, so I don't know what's happening to me.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 17 2020, 9:50 am
What is HSP?

I don't cry easily, but I feel things very deeply. I do cry sometimes when I'm really moved, like by Yomim Noraim Tefillot, and maybe on Tisha B'Av if I read something that moves me very much, or think of something very sad.

When I'm hormonal, though, I can cry over things that are stupid.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 17 2020, 9:50 am
Super sensitive! I cry very easily when I'm frustrated. This comes in handy in Israel, where people can't stand to see a grown woman cry, especially at the bank. The employees will rush over with a glass of water and some tissues, figure out what you need, and push you to the front of the line.

Not that I'm proud of that, AT ALL. I'd rather be competent, and wait all day, than be a neb and get babied. Still, it is what it is sometimes.

I also cry at TV shows. Some of them get to me every single time, even if I've seen it before and know exactly what is going to happen. Certain songs set me off, too.

My sister is a clinical psychologist, who specializes in child abuse cases that come before family court. She has always been extremely professional, caring, but not over involved, and never getting her personal feelings in the mix.

Now she's in therapy, because she's repressed so much that she has big chunks of her memories missing. She's always texting me asking "Did this really happen? Do you remember mom saying this?" She doesn't trust herself at all.

I could never do her job, and I admire her for going into the field. On the other hand, her job has taken a huge toll on her. I admire anyone in the "giving professions", because I can't control my own emotions enough. I'd end up making all of my patients or clients feel guilty, and that is the opposite of what they need.
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Fri, Jul 17 2020, 10:04 am
I’m a non-HSP. I sometimes feel the need to cry out of frustration (eg feeling like a shmattah in my own home) but almost never feel the need to cry out of sadness.

I might cry a bit at some kind of “feel-good” movie but that would be minimal and short-lived vs a big blubber.
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