Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries
Hard time signing that im ok with school rules
1  2  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Sat, Jul 18 2020, 10:16 pm
Sooo its that time of year again! I just got a bunch of school mail for all my kids and playgroups. Im generally a rule follower and a goody 2 shoes. Im also on top of my mail and forms- sooo id like to tell yo scribble a bit fat signature and tell the schools - oh hey!! All your rules make perfect sense and im thrilled to follow them and I dont think at all that your being run by fear of not being Frum enough! But alas there are some things in the handbook that really make my uncomfortable to sign on. Things like my kids wont ever use the internet (this is coming from a home where the filter is a top priority and the kids dont hang out on the computer or tablets, but there are still times when it becomes "necessary" - see:CORONAVIRUS)
Also!! Some of the tznius rules are flat out ridiculous- yes we will wear the uniform however many inches below the knee you tell us. Well do on your turf what you feel is appropriate for your school - BUT to ask me to sign that my 5.5 y.o post primary girl is always going to be in knee socks? Uh.... no!
So whats the advice? Call the principal? Not sign? Let them hunt me down?!?! Wwyd in this situation?

Pls don't bash lkwd. I love this town!
Back to top

amother
Pink


 

Post Sat, Jul 18 2020, 10:37 pm
You love the town and you now have to take what that love comes with. Ou become a liar by signing a form you cannot uphold, or you sign and keep to what you signed. It’s a part of living there- you can’t have the conveniences without the inconveniences as well. If you don’t believe in the premise of these rules you may want to find another place to live. And when it comes to honesty, saying everyone signs and doesn’t listen so I will too does not make it emes to sign.
Back to top

amother
Cyan


 

Post Sat, Jul 18 2020, 10:44 pm
I would sign. I would maybe put small stars by the rules I found issue with, but if they only want back the last paper at the end of the rule book then it won't really help you.
When I enrolled my daughter into the bais yakov school near us (not lakewood) I was asked to sign a no kids on the internet policy. I discussed with the principal how I felt it healthier in this age to teach our kids how to use it safely vs banning it at home and the kids eventually finding other places to use it.
He said it's school policy and if I want to enroll my daughter it would need to be signed for ages nursery-8th grade. Since otherwise I agreed with all the schools rules and policies, and I didn't have a other/better school option, I signed it. I then got rid of the rarely used internet in my house, and invested in some peppa pig dvds vs her watching them on YouTube. Small investment for the return.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sat, Jul 18 2020, 10:51 pm
amother [ Cyan ] wrote:
I would sign. I would maybe put small stars by the rules I found issue with, but if they only want back the last paper at the end of the rule book then it won't really help you.


I actually think id do this! Make a small asterisk at the bottom of the form and write although id love to say im confident I can follow all these tznius rules, there are likely times that my 5 year olds elbows and knees wont be fully covered. I just want to be 100% truthful when signing this form
Back to top

amother
Ivory


 

Post Sat, Jul 18 2020, 10:53 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I actually think id do this! Make a small asterisk at the bottom of the form and write although id love to say im confident I can follow all these tznius rules, there are likely times that my 5 year olds elbows and knees wont be fully covered. I just want to be 100% truthful when signing this form


Nah. Just sign like everyone else.
Back to top

amother
Pink


 

Post Sat, Jul 18 2020, 10:53 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I actually think id do this! Make a small asterisk at the bottom of the form and write although id love to say im confident I can follow all these tznius rules, there are likely times that my 5 year olds elbows and knees wont be fully covered. I just want to be 100% truthful when signing this form


That may not be a smart thing to do in lakewood. If the other poster is talking about an OOT school, totally different story than what you are dealing with. Either risk not sending back the form or comply with the rules. I would advise not marking it up. Remember, they don’t need you, you need them
Back to top

amother
cornflower


 

Post Sat, Jul 18 2020, 10:56 pm
Sign it. Don't unnecessarily complicate your life. If you're cornered by the school in the future, you'll deal with it then.
Are you ready to look for a new school (that'll have the same rules) because of those 2 rules?? Are you sure they'll take you when you say which rules you had a problem with? Is it worth it to voice your disagreement with the hanhalah?
Back to top

amother
Apricot


 

Post Sat, Jul 18 2020, 10:57 pm
I sign and write Bli Neder.
Back to top

amother
cornflower


 

Post Sat, Jul 18 2020, 10:58 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I actually think id do this! Make a small asterisk at the bottom of the form and write although id love to say im confident I can follow all these tznius rules, there are likely times that my 5 year olds elbows and knees wont be fully covered. I just want to be 100% truthful when signing this form

My 2 cents - they aren't interested in your honesty. They might say, ok, she's being cutesy and normal OR they might see a non complier down the road. You want to take the chance?
Back to top

amother
Aubergine


 

Post Sat, Jul 18 2020, 10:59 pm
I live in Lakewood and don’t remember filling out such a form. Is that possible or am I suffering from selective memory
Back to top

amother
Powderblue


 

Post Sat, Jul 18 2020, 11:00 pm
Ask a shailah
Back to top

amother
Chocolate


 

Post Sat, Jul 18 2020, 11:01 pm
My daughter's daycare wanted us to wear gloves (because of Corona). I didn't rock the boat, but after a few days I saw no one else was wearing them and I didn't either so it turned out fine.

With tzniut -- I would never want my own kid to be one of the few not sticking to rules, I'd rather find a different school. But if every year the school puts out a tzniut rulebook aka wishlist and every year 90% of the student population doesn't abide by it, then I'd be okay signing.
Back to top

amother
Navy


 

Post Sat, Jul 18 2020, 11:03 pm
I don’t usually send in the form at all and never got called about it yet. That may not work in your school, we don’t have a long rulebook.
That being said my school wants machane kadosh compliance this year and I hope it will not be enforced.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sat, Jul 18 2020, 11:10 pm
amother [ Pink ] wrote:
That may not be a smart thing to do in lakewood. If the other poster is talking about an OOT school, totally different story than what you are dealing with. Either risk not sending back the form or comply with the rules. I would advise not marking it up. Remember, they don’t need you, you need them


Im cracking up that this has 3 thumbs up. You seriously think that out of their parent body of hundreds they're gonma get riled up about my asterisk PSA? They will almost 100% ignore it cuz ive been in the school a while and have given zero issues. And if the principal wants to call me to dicuss im happy to have that conversation.
I just don't see why lying would be ok but maybe im wrong. It seems like everyone is saying to just sign it...
Back to top

naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 19 2020, 12:11 am
I will not share my personal thoughts about these rules, but when it comes to chinuch nothing is more important than EMES...
Back to top

amother
Blush


 

Post Sun, Jul 19 2020, 12:16 am
Sign, but make parentheses around the rules you aren’t sure you’ll always follow. No explanation needed.
Back to top

ExtraCredit




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 19 2020, 12:17 am
amother [ Apricot ] wrote:
I sign and write Bli Neder.

You can’t go wrong with this.


Last edited by ExtraCredit on Sun, Jul 19 2020, 12:21 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top

amother
Burlywood


 

Post Sun, Jul 19 2020, 12:20 am
I never sent back the form about internet usage because I felt it was lying. The school knows many kids have iPods and chooses to look the other way. But they have to send out the form in accordance with the Lakewood rules so most people end up lying. It’s so backwards. In the past year or two, the school switched registration from paper to online, and you couldn’t submit the registration form without signing. So I did, but it bothered me. In your case however, it’s a unique school rule. Meaning not every school in Lakewood has that rule. So I guess it’s up to you to decide if you want to lie and stay in the school, or perhaps actually follow the rules..
Back to top

amother
Pink


 

Post Sun, Jul 19 2020, 12:27 am
Surplus wrote:
You can’t go wrong with this.

Sorry but bli neder just means that you are saying yes to the rule without promising. Like if you make a mistake or something. Not if you never plan to put your kid in long socks. Choose to not send it back or send it back and go with the rules. You live in Lakewood, how hard can it be to follow them? Lying is assur....and bad chinuch. Doesnt matter of the school expects you to do that. Actually it does matter that that’s what they expect- terrible chinuch for the kids. How will they learn to be honest when filling out employment forms etc when they are older? Everyone lies about stuff on forms so they’ll assume it’s ok??
Back to top

Leahh




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 19 2020, 12:35 am
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:
I never sent back the form about internet usage because I felt it was lying. The school knows many kids have iPods and chooses to look the other way. But they have to send out the form in accordance with the Lakewood rules so most people end up lying. It’s so backwards. In the past year or two, the school switched registration from paper to online, and you couldn’t submit the registration form without signing. So I did, but it bothered me. In your case however, it’s a unique school rule. Meaning not every school in Lakewood has that rule. So I guess it’s up to you to decide if you want to lie and stay in the school, or perhaps actually follow the rules..

How warped that they don't want you to have internet but registration is online
Back to top
Page 1 of 2 1  2  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Some kids don’t thrive in a school setting 25 Today at 9:32 pm View last post
How to avoid vaccinating my baby until school
by amother
204 Today at 8:18 pm View last post
S/o Top BY school for girl with HFASD
by amother
20 Today at 6:38 pm View last post
Did anyone get accepted to girl’s high school?
by amother
9 Today at 5:15 pm View last post
Is it hard?
by amother
6 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 9:14 pm View last post