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Parents of high school girls, what makes a good principal?

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sat, Jul 25 2020, 11:38 pm
what do you want to see in interactions?
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amother




Green
 

Post  Sat, Jul 25 2020, 11:43 pm
A warm smile and compliment at least once a week. All else is just a bonus.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sat, Jul 25 2020, 11:45 pm
amother [ Green ] wrote:
A warm smile and compliment at least once a week. All else is just a bonus.


To the parents or to the girls?

To clarify, the relationship with girls should hopefully be fine. I'm more worried about dealing with parents. Like how to interact or what they want
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amother




Green
 

Post  Sat, Jul 25 2020, 11:47 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
To the parents or to the girls?

To clarify, the relationship with girls should hopefully be fine. I'm more worried about dealing with parents. Like how to interact or what they want

I meant to the girls. To the parents it’s enough to interact during pta or school productions and hopefully have something nice to say about the daughter. I don’t feel more interaction is necessary unless there’s a problem.
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amother




Ecru
 

Post  Sat, Jul 25 2020, 11:48 pm
Put "the school" as secondary in your mind, and "the student" as first priority. If a girl is not succeeding, acting out, or questioning, try to work with her and meet her needs. Don't first worry about the reputation of the school, or try to decide if she fits into the class or not.

Make sure you have an individual relationship with each student. Arrange a private meeting with each girl to get to know her and hear what she feels about school, and try to meet again throughout the year to hear how she is doing.

If there is an issue that needs solving, meet with the girl and discuss it. Don't present her with a fait accompli, don't tell her she's kicked out or that she's on probation. Give her a chance to hear her side of the story first, and make sure she has adequate warning before you do anything drastic. Teens also need boundaries, and they also test those boundaries. Letting them know that something is a boundary, and giving them a chance to change, can do wonders.

Allow parents to speak to you instead of directly to the teachers if they prefer. Sometimes it's hard for parents to have an unpleasant conversation, but they still deserve to be heard. You don't have to believe everything that parents say, but they still should know that someone is there for them.

Demonstrate that you care for the girls by being compassionate to them. If they complain that they have a million exams, see if you can make things easier for them. Allow them to have that Yom Iyun or Shabbaton or trip that they are begging for. Let Production be a big deal, for some girls it's their primary place to shine.
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amother




Brunette
 

Post  Sat, Jul 25 2020, 11:57 pm
Listening. A principal that listens to both the students and the parents. Not necessarily agreeing, but making the students and parents feel heard.
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Jul 25 2020, 11:57 pm
My girls are not yet in HS, but I like a principal with solid management skills, who seems on top of her game, and who has a vision for where the school is going and a plan for how to get there.

She should get along well with teachers, since these are her direct reports. There should be an atmosphere of mutual respect and support between the principal and the teaching staff.

Obviously, she should be warm toward the students and parents, but students interact more directly with their teachers than with the principal, so her relationship with teachers is a higher priority for me.
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amother




Saddlebrown
 

Post  Sun, Jul 26 2020, 12:38 am
I would love to see more principals who are aware of current struggles kids/teens today have. Even "normal", "good", "Bais Yaakov" or "Yeshivish" kids have. Be willing to talk about it or have someone come in and talk about it.
Even the best kids/teens have different struggles. Very few are as sheltered as previous generations. Even those who don't have outside media in their home, don't have smartphones still see more today than 20 or 40 years ago. Go to any grocery store or pharmacy, ride the bus- just seeing tattoos, piercings, couples of the same gender kissing, see magazines or newspaper covers, hear the radio in a taxi... We aren't in the 1950s! It is the reality that we live in and schools need to address it.
We have teens with addictions. Many that are hidden, from "good families". How many more overdoses do we need?!? How many more kids with paralyzingly anxiety, depression?? Or eating disorders. Or suicidal tendencies.
Yes. We had a older teenager in our community who overdosed and died in the last year. The family was not a "troubled" one, went to run of the mill, normal schools. One of the high schools, where a sibling went to, refused to have a "parents night" to offer education and support. Because of course it doesn't happen. But it does! Parents may not know who to turn to when their sons and daughters start asking questions. They might be scared to tell the principal that their kids have questions. So the school should bring it up. Definitely to the parents. Advice on who goes to a funeral, shiva visit, warning signs to seek more help.... The only way we can prevent more tragedies is by being aware and seeking help. That kid needed help. Siblings need help. Friends and friends of siblings-- they all need some help!

Yeah, a friendly principal is nice. But we need ones who are aware, educated, and not afraid to have real licensed therapists on staff and definitely to consult!!
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amother




Mint
 

Post  Sun, Jul 26 2020, 12:42 am
amother [ Brunette ] wrote:
Listening. A principal that listens to both the students and the parents. Not necessarily agreeing, but making the students and parents feel heard.


This. It's the main thing.

And please don't listen to lashon hara when accepting girls.
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amother




Seagreen
 

Post  Sun, Jul 26 2020, 1:34 am
Not specific to girls but knows each kid by name, is knowledgable about how each one is doing school-wise, is approachable yet respected by the kids, awesome at administrating, talks about non important things with the students daily, shmoozes, takes students and parents opinions and feelings as legitimate views to consider.
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ShishKabob




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Jul 26 2020, 5:29 am
amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:
Not specific to girls but knows each kid by name, is knowledgable about how each one is doing school-wise, is approachable yet respected by the kids, awesome at administrating, talks about non important things with the students daily, shmoozes, takes students and parents opinions and feelings as legitimate views to consider.
This! wow so well put!
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post  Sun, Jul 26 2020, 5:33 am
The best high school principal I dealt with was one who truly practiced "chanoch Lanar al pi darko"
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amother




Aqua
 

Post  Sun, Jul 26 2020, 6:35 am
One who doesn't go by 'the books' or 'the rules'
One who can see students and their mothers as 'people' with individual lives

One who doesn't create systems for the few who seek to break rules
but rather deals with the 'one off' rule breaker individually
and allows for others to retain their autonomy

One who really knows what the goals are for her students
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amother




Lemon
 

Post  Sun, Jul 26 2020, 6:41 am
As someone who has taught high school, back your teachers, guide them, give them resources. Have very clear rules for students-it makes every one feel safe. Know what the school stands for and don't bend to every parent. Be confudent in what the school has to offer.
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amother




Seagreen
 

Post  Sun, Jul 26 2020, 7:47 am
ShishKabob wrote:
This! wow so well put!


Thanks , credit is not mine, am literally describing one of my dc's. He is very well loved by staff, students & parents & extremely successful in his job.
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