Became a nightmare

amother

Sun, Jul 26 2020, 11:46 pm

I used to love scrolling Instagram and follow inspirational people , yet lately it only became a very miserable place for me . After going down from it I only feel depressed. So many good looking women. These days I barely have time to look good but anyway that's not my point . Why dont I enjoy it and just feel terrible from it? It used to be enjoyable for me but not anymore.

giselle

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 12:05 am

I’m not going to tell you that there aren’t good looking people out there, but with the right filters anyone can look gorgeous. There are so many threads like this, and I can’t help but wonder, do people not realize what a facade it all is? You can literally pretend anything on Instagram. I used to be into posting a few years ago, although I’ve since fallen out of it, but I’m sure my life looked pretty perfect too. Why would I post bad photos? It literally means nothing other than that person knows how to take good photos. Sometimes I think it would be fun to start a real life Instagram account.. I send those photos to my friends for fun, but I don’t really have the patience to actually make the account.. you know, like the messy counter that you cropped out of that photo of a perfectly plated steak... the 85 pictures you had to snap before getting the perfect shot of all the kids smiling.. the fight you got into with your husband right before you found that perfect filter with lots of hearts and dragged him into the perfect lovey dovey selfie.. need I go on..

amother

Oak

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 12:24 am

Can anyone name the most gorgeous and interesting but Tznius Instagram style-makers ) along the lines of https://www.instagram.com/byrd.....hl=en who is very much my taste?

I like to see and learn from them.

And for that matter, which decorators instagram pages have the most elegantly decorated homes?

amother

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 12:53 am

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

Oy this absolutely didnt make me feel any better!

amother

Oak

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 1:27 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Oy this absolutely didnt make me feel any better!

Please realize that theres lots of fakery around, fake-frumkeit (people who present themselves as Shomer Shabbos and arent), fake wealth (people living in extremely fancy homes who secretly take food handouts), fake mental health (people who pretend that they and their kids are all perfectly healthy, mentally and physically, and spend time in psyche wards).

I came to know lots of fake people, and yet I enjoy looking at high style people and homes. For me its enjoyable.

It is what it is.

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 3:29 am

As I always say, (to console myself), we are living in a world of sheker.
Not only on instagram, in real life too
There are those that appear in real life like the tzadikim of this world, but in reality they are not.
There are those that appear wealthy, but yes, get their weekly food deliveries.
Only Hashem knows and can be the true Judge

Rappel

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 3:37 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Anyways I cant control anything. Instagram is here to stay ... what a nesoin!

If it's making you unhappy, then quit it. I did that with Facebook 2.5 years ago, and I haven't regretted it since. I use imamother as my social media nicotine patch, and I'm no longer drawn into the madness. Smile

It's worth it.

LovesHashem

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 3:45 am

Social Media causes anxiety, low self esteem, amongst other things. This has well been documented and studied.

The only thing I follow is brands and makeup and art. Not people

amother

Seafoam

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 4:00 am

I know a lot of instagammers because of familial ties and my line of work. The amount of low self-esteem and fakery among so-called successful influencers would take away any vestiges of jealousy that you have. So many people who look perfect on camera but pay no attention to their family's needs. So many people who need to always look just so and are hot messes in so many ways that don't show on the outside. Not to mention the hours and hours and sifting through photos to find the one in which they look so amazing, discarding the ones which are not flattering.

I personally know one influencer who is a wonderful person, beautiful inside and out, but she recently gained a lot of weight. Instead of being honest about it, which could be wonderful for her followers, she either posts old photos, or hides behind other people in her recent pictures. She does it very artfully, so you would not notice; I only know because I know her in real life.

Don't feel compare yourself to what really boils down to vapor and tricks of the light. You are worth so much more.

PinkFridge

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 9:39 am

OP, I wanted to hug your posts.
Seafoam just before me said it well.
If you can get off, that would be great. I don't know what you would fill the void with, or reach for instead, like the ex-smoker and cinnamon stickers. Hatzlacha and feel good about yourself. You can do good and real things, even if not "insta" or headline worthy. Because there are many things that truly are headline worthy, in the book that counts, as in the one that's going to be opened in 2 months.

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 10:06 am

Look at the Instagram vs. Reality pages. Even when the content you're seeing isn't fake, you're still seeing your own behind the scenes and everyone else's highlight reel.

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 10:10 am

amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:

I personally know one influencer who is a wonderful person, beautiful inside and out, but she recently gained a lot of weight. Instead of being honest about it, which could be wonderful for her followers, she either posts old photos, or hides behind other people in her recent pictures. She does it very artfully, so you would not notice; I only know because I know her in real life.

It's a shame, but being a model or an Instagrammer can give people body insecurity because they have to be constantly focused on how they look. And shame about weight has become so normalized that some writers have (somewhat) jokingly written about "coming out as fat". Ironically, the best way for an Instagrammer to do some good for the world is to be confident with what is commonly considered a flaw.

icebreaker

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 10:12 am

It’s just so boring. It’s the same people doing the same things blah blah blah. I scroll through in habit but I almost never see anything that I’m just like, “Wow!”

PinkFridge

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 11:49 am

amother [ Lime ] wrote:

I don’t have Instagram but what is it different than going to a fancy wedding and seeing everyone so pretty?

People put on their best faces when they go out. When we made a simcha and someone complimented me, I said, for what we paid for the stage production I hope I look good.
But imagine that I was dressed in a sheitel, pearls, and heels (like women in the 1950s? Or at least the TV moms) to do housework and I sent pictures to all of my followers. This is not sustainable, and in most Insta cases, staged. But it would set a new standard that could easily make people feel inferior and insecure if they saw it often enough.