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Forum -> Household Management
I just want a clean house!!
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 12:50 pm
I'm really struggling. I have a bunch of little kids, with terror toddler twins, and I am not a natural "put it away right away" type of person. The toys, clothes. Laundry, crafts, dirt, dust, I just can't keep on top of it all.

I do have a cleaning lady twice a week but I just have too much stuff that it not organized. So when she comes it's clean for a minute but not organized. She just puts things in bins, straightens up the room.
I can organize when I set me mind to it. But I have no time or head space! When my kids are up- it's impossible to do anything but watch them and play with them. When they sleep- I'm wiped and don't have energy to really organize and get things in order mindfully.
I know kids get older and this is temporary. I just feel so defeated and wonder how other people with little kids keep thier houses decent and clean and fresh?? The never ending need to tend to mess is making me feel so defeated and down...always just another day to clean.
Any tips? And please don't say get my kids to clean. They are too little and I don't have energy to deal with doing it with them. And my husband is working all day and pitches in when he can.
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avrahamama




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 12:52 pm
I'm in the same boat. Minus the cleaning lady. I took a lot of toys and put them away, I also locked the closet in their room and only leave out like 5 outfits each. That helps me a little. But really I'm just riding this wave and trying to enjoy and let go.

Some days I'm great at it others not so much
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amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 12:53 pm
full time help. I would never manage without it. its expensive but cheaper then therapy would cost.
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 12:55 pm
Ha ha I’m glad you think it gets better when the kids get older
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Simcha36




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 12:57 pm
Best is that everyone in the home has a part in cleaning up/ organize. Kids of any age (almost. 2 years old can help put away toys in designated area!) should particpate in put toys away, know where to put clothing away (used to laundry basket) etc.
Turn it into a game: where do the blocks go? Correct!! they go into...!!!
Ok, so and so will take the blocks into.... go with each item, every day, at least at the end of the day.
Kids will enjoy if its a game form.
"now we are all going to clean up"!
Clean up she be included in daily routines, same as dinner and teeth brushing.
Good foundation for years to come.
Responibility level grows with age.
Clean up song from preschool?
Hatzlacha!
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 12:57 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'm really struggling. I have a bunch of little kids, with terror toddler twins, and I am not a natural "put it away right away" type of person. The toys, clothes. Laundry, crafts, dirt, dust, I just can't keep on top of it all.

I do have a cleaning lady twice a week but I just have too much stuff that it not organized. So when she comes it's clean for a minute but not organized. She just puts things in bins, straightens up the room.
I can organize when I set me mind to it. But I have no time or head space! When my kids are up- it's impossible to do anything but watch them and play with them. When they sleep- I'm wiped and don't have energy to really organize and get things in order mindfully.
I know kids get older and this is temporary. I just feel so defeated and wonder how other people with little kids keep thier houses decent and clean and fresh?? The never ending need to tend to mess is making me feel so defeated and down...always just another day to clean.
Any tips? And please don't say get my kids to clean. They are too little and I don't have energy to deal with doing it with them. And my husband is working all day and pitches in when he can.

Honestly the only way I survive is full time help like really full time 7-7 7 days a week yes it’s expensive but the mess gives me severe anxiety and I need the help for my sanity.
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avrahamama




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 12:59 pm
Simcha36 wrote:
Best is that everyone in the home has a part in cleaning up/ organize. Kids of any age (almost. 2 years old can help put away toys in designated area!) should particpate in put toys away, know where to put clothing away (used to laundry basket) etc.
Turn it into a game: where do the blocks go? Correct!! they go into...!!!
Ok, so and so will take the blocks into.... go with each item, every day, at least at the end of the day.
Kids will enjoy if its a game form.
"now we are all going to clean up"!
Clean up she be included in daily routines, same as dinner and teeth brushing.
Good foundation for years to come.
Responibility level grows with age.
Clean up song from preschool?
Hatzlacha!


So funny our Rav sings the clean up song after Kiddush and expects that the kehilla cleans up after themselves. It's really works. They even take the garbage out.
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amother
Maroon


 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 1:17 pm
I let the mess go during the day but I try to have my toddler clean up before bed. it's annoying and time consuming but when she's willing she's really able to pick up her toys. she just needs someone to start her off, do hand over hand at the beginning, sing the song, keep her focused... I keep telling myself I am setting her up for good habits down the line.


I have older kids and it really is a process. my oldest who is 10 is pretty good about cleaning up after herself, making her own bed without me saying anything.... my 6 year still needs lots of reminders, guidance...
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 1:32 pm
You really have to adjust your standards of cleanliness and order at this stage of life. You can't compare your abode to that of someone with no children, or older children. I'd forgotten that stage of life but got a good reminder when we babysat for our dgc in our house for a few days. Just as an example, when you bathe the baby, you wrap her up in a towel and take her to the bedroom, where you put a diaper on her and dress her. You don't stop to hang up the washcloth, empty the basin, dry the bathroom floor and pick up her discarded clothes. When the baby upends a bowl of oatmeal on her head or yours, you pick her up and take her to the bathroom to wash her off; you don't have the leisure to first clean up the table, the high chair, and the floor, and wash the dishes.

You will have plenty of years to kvell over your pristinely tidy home after your children grow up and move out.
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MonseyMommy3




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 2:01 pm
I totally hear your struggle! what really helped me is setting some time to do a huge overhaul of one closet or area at a time... think 1 a week...(or go slower)... creating homes for items and a good organizational system. You can look online for inspiration so it becomes an exciting process. Toss everything you don't actually use or need (or donate) and sort the rest well.... this will make all future clean up and tidying way easier.
The more you can label and have bins for specific items the more a cleaning lady/ husband/ child can actually help put things away in a helpful way (instead of just leaving your piles of mixed up stuff)....
If this sounds intimidating just pick one area to start with.... the little time you invest in it will really go a long way. A few years ago I really felt the same way as you, by now I've done my whole house, all my cabinets/closets and it really is an amazing and rewarding feeling.
Hatzlacha!!
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dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 2:06 pm
The key is having less stuff: Marie Kondo convinced me. But staying on top of being organized is a lot of work!
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 2:53 pm
I have no good advice only empathy. I have little kids and are struggling with the same thing. I know I should probably get rid of stuff, but I find it really hard. I try and lock off as much as I can, the less they can access, the less they can mess up. Although they still find things they shouldn't. Today I spent ages cleaning eye shadow and lip gloss off the bathroom sink and toilet (I had no idea my toddler could reach the bathroom shelf now).
If the weather's good, keep them outside as much as possible. The weeks where I can play outside with them, the house looks so much better as they're not inside making a mess all day.
I don't think there are any easy solutions, just wait for them to grow up a little...
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Mayflower




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 28 2020, 2:05 am
Would it be an option to send your toddlers to playgroup? Or if not, to get a daily babysitter to take them out? Getting the kids out of the house for a few hours a day is really the only way IMO....plus it will probably make you feel much less drained when they are in bed.

Also: early bedtime. Until my kids are 6, bedtime is at 7. I still feel wiped , but I take an hour to lounge on the couch and after it'll still early enough to start tidying up a bit.

What might also work, is to have at least one room in the house where they can't make a mess. Toddlers should be able to understand that. So you'll have at least this haven of tranquility to flee to when the mess around the rest of the house gets to you.

Good luck...
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LovesHashem




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 28 2020, 3:22 am
avrahamama wrote:
So funny our Rav sings the clean up song after Kiddush and expects that the kehilla cleans up after themselves. It's really works. They even take the garbage out.


This is wonderful
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salt




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 28 2020, 5:05 am
I like the poster who says make clearing up into a game with your kids.
You say you're playing with them, and watching them anyway, so play 'tidying up'.

One is in charge of shoes - one is in charge of blocks - one is in charge of books, etc.

Last game of the afternoon is tidying up. You draw a little picture of each job on pieces of paper, fold them up and put them in a box. Each child takes out a paper and sees what he gets to do today.

If one finishes his job, and others are still working, he can run back to the box and pull out another paper.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Tue, Jul 28 2020, 5:57 am
It's good to train toddlers to clean up, for when they're older and also for your own sanity.
Eating only in the high chair, no walking around with food.
Cleanup a toy or game before taking out another. (A silly game we play is I hold the box or bag the millions of pieces are supposed to go in and I pretend I'm collecting tzedaka. Kids love to "give tzedaka." Or each of them picks a fruit and then they clean up every toy of that color fruit, pretending we are making a fruit salad. Silly, but it's worked for 15 years. Or sometimes I'll just ask that everyone pick up 20 things from the floor- that's about 100 things off the floor within 30 seconds.)
Organize your shelves so it's easy to return toys and games to the right place.
And sometimes when you need a bit off quiet it's ok to turn on a video. Use it as an incentive for cleaning up.
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amother
Puce


 

Post Tue, Jul 28 2020, 6:08 am
For people who have full time help, how does this cleaning lady know what to throw out and where you want to keep everything? If she doesn’t know, she’s probably just making piles and piles of stuff and not helping with the clutter.
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amother
Black


 

Post Tue, Jul 28 2020, 6:35 am
I never have more toys than the maximum amount I'm comfortable with cleaning up by myself if my kids dump everything. The rest are locked away. They know they can have any toy they want from the closet as long as the other toys are cleaned up.
Also my roomba is my best friend.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 28 2020, 8:10 am
amother [ Puce ] wrote:
For people who have full time help, how does this cleaning lady know what to throw out and where you want to keep everything? If she doesn’t know, she’s probably just making piles and piles of stuff and not helping with the clutter.


For decluttering, hire an organizer. A cleaner's job is to clean, not to declutter. Your clutter only slows the cleaner down and reduces his or her efficiency.
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gyf45




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 28 2020, 9:13 am
I agree with the clutter - there’s normal messy that doesn’t bother me but sometimes I felt like I was drowning in the clutter- make sure nothing is on top of the fridge or under the beds it’ll automatically look less stressful. All my toys are in containers if something didn’t belong there it was thrown out. And every week go thru all the papers that are scattered around the house and throw out whatever is not important anymore. And have to be constantly on top of it not to let the clutter pile up again- don’t buy more toys till u go thru what u have first etc too many mugs ? Throw some out...
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